UNQUESTIONABLE by FREEFLOW RATED FRC

Author's Notes: rewatching one of my favourite episodes and laughing at the brilliance of the ‘special effects’ - this fic just wrote itself.

‘But why Brains? I know it worked, but still...’

A slightly indignant pause, and curious eyes watched silently.

‘...Just b-b-b-b...’

A snort resounded and a finger stabbed the air, waving in triumph.

‘Just b-button it, Alan? Ha, you took the words right out of my mouth, Brains!’

Pink rose on pale cheeks and older eyes rolled in well-practised synchronisation.

‘That’s not what he was going to say, Gordon, and stop interrupting him! He’s trying to explain-’

Two strategically placed palms both muffled and commanded.

‘Both of you shut up and let the man talk.’

A scowl in stereo only served to exacerbate the situation, and the stammer.

‘Th-thank you Scott. And as I was s-s-s-s-saying, the, er, the reason is just b-b-b-b-b-’

A foot twitch announced the interruption before it happened, leaving no one surprised.

‘Just below the waterline? Just bordering on genius? Just bbbbbbbbbbrilliant!?’

A gust of a sigh was swallowed up by an onslaught of words.

‘Gordon!’

‘Will you-’

‘Quiet! I want to hear-’

A rough swipe brought the grin forth once more.

‘Son, if you’d let Brains finish we’d find out much quicker.’

A copper eyebrow raised and a grey head lowered in defeat.

‘Well I know why, anyway! It’s obvious that the only way to subdue an alligator is to tranquilize it. If we just shot them with the missiles, the rest of the swarm would have converged on us!’

The head lowered to rest on a weary palm, hoping for an adjournment at best.

‘Idiot! That’s wasps!’

Too much to hope for - and never a popular choice with any of these particular combatants.

‘A-a-a shrewd deduction, er, Gordon, but not, er, ultimately w-w-why I chose tranquilizers.’

The question re-opened, the storm built in force once more.

‘Then why, Brains? I know it worked out in the end, but using the tranq guns was risky so close to the house, especially using ones big enough to take down such massive creatures.’

Sensible. Scott.

‘Yep, and we didn’t know how those alligators had gotten to be so big – what if the tranquilizer had, I don’t know, reacted with that drug – we were going in blind.’

Devil’s Advocate. Virgil.

‘And their scales might have made it impossible to sedate them - the darts might have just bounced right off – right back at us!’

Excitable. Alan.

‘Uh huh, and we didn’t know how many there were either, like we saw when Culp tried to make a run for it. What if you guys didn’t have enough tranqs with you?’

Methodical. John.

‘Or what if we missed, and didn’t get one centre mass? What if it was only stunned and we didn’t realise?’

Oh, Gordon...

‘Gordon! Do you have to say stuff like that?’

Noise takes over once more.

‘Just because you were nearly croc-bait Al; and to be honest, you brought that on yourself. Both Virg and I said to stay on Thunderbird Two, but you had to go play with the hoverbikes-’

Grins smothered whilst a father’s breathing hitches once, in remembrance of possible outcomes.

‘Hey! It worked didn’t it?’

It had, if only just.

‘Boys, boys, if we could finish this debrief sometime this morning-’

No escaping yet.

‘Y-y-yes sir, er Mister T-Tracy. As I was s-s-s-s-saying, er, earlier, I had a, er, sound r-reasons for the tranq-tranqilizer guns being used. A-a-a-and although I, er, appreciate all o-o-of your comments, I s-s-s-s-stand by my decision.’

A breath. And the eye passes.

‘Yeah but Brains-’

‘You still haven’t answered-’

‘Gas! We could’ve used gas-’

‘A really big fishing lure-’

‘I still smell like swamp-’

‘A really, really big fishing lure-’

‘And I’ll never get all of that black sludge off Four’s rear engine-’

‘Maybe with fish paste on-’

‘I think it’s in my hair-’

Debriefing was a distant memory, and the urge to find the scotch bottle swelled with the rising voices.

‘Boys! Now I know this was a strange mission, and I for one am praying that it was a one-time only deal, but just in case anything like this ever crops up again, we all need to know the ins and outs of Brains’ decision. So please, if you could all just stay quiet for a little bit longer...’

A stilted sigh as an errant elbow connected with unsuspecting ribs across the way only caused a momentary pause. The long-suffering tone continued regardless.

‘Then we can wrap this up and let Alan go take another bath.’

Tactical error, and he knew it immediately.

‘Ha! See Al, maybe playing tag with giant lizards wasn’t such a great idea after all!’

‘Did I hear wrong, or did Dad just say that Alan stinks?’

‘Better empty the tub first Al, or else your new pet might give you a sharp reminder of our latest adventure!’

Definitely an error in judgement.

‘Hey, Dad, no fair! It’s not just me – Gordon was hanging about too, and he doesn’t exactly smell like roses at the best of times.’

‘Why you-’

Scuffling and chairs scraping were mingled with baritone laughter and exasperated finger tapping.

‘Hey Scott, you know Al may be right. Strange though, isn’t it, that a guy who spends most of his spare time in water would avoid it so much when it comes to the bathroom?’

‘Hey!’

‘Hmm, that is a good point, Virg. Maybe there’s some psychosis there, keeps Gordo from trusting warm, soapy water but makes him desperate for the cold, chlorinated stuff. What do you think, Johnny?’

The scuffling continued but there was a pause in honour of the most distant reply.

‘...Well, as I do have quite a lot of spare time up here, you can trust me when I say that I’ve studied this phenomenon in great detail, and put in many hours researching various psychological theories. And I can quite confidently say that I’ve got an answer for you, Scotty.’

The blond head bowed with mock sincerity and sat, waiting, for the bite.

‘Oooh, what is it Johnny? Gordon got some freakish disorder that we never knew about? I knew it! I always knew you were-’

‘Save it Al! You don’t know anything-’

More scuffling, and a slightly raised voice battled for dominance.

‘I’ve come to the official conclusion that Gordon is a sufferer of scruffy kid brother syndrome, with a dash of laziness thrown in for good measure.’

The laughter was back again, and even the two wrestlers joined in.

The fear was wearing off, and the adrenaline waning.

The piano was calling, along with the pool’s crystal depths, endless undiscovered constellations and a long hot bath.

‘This nearly finished, Father?’

‘Yeah Brains, can we call this one a day yet?’

‘I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starving-’

‘Hey, don’t talk about food when I’m up here surviving on space rations!’

‘Well that’s more than we’ve had Johnny, so be glad of it-’

‘Surely we’ve debriefed enough-’

‘I think I’ll have to burn that uniform, I’ll never get rid of that smell-’

‘Since when have you cared about a little dirt Al?’

‘Now, if you boys would only let Brains get a word in-’

‘I thought he told us already, it was because of the swarm-’

‘Idiot! I told you before, that’s wasps-’

‘Didn’t we just go through this?’

‘I really need a drink-’

‘Boys! Just let the man-’

‘Alan, is it just the light on this monitor, or is your hair turning slightly green?’

‘No way is it wasps! I’ve been stung in my time, and killed the thing, and there was no swarm-’

‘You know, next time we should just leave crazy scientist types to their own monstrous creations-’

‘Green?! What are you talking about, green?’

‘And who would have thought that alligators turn on their backs when they’re sedated-’

‘Ha! You’re probably turning in to one of them, Al; you played with the beasties, and now they’re having their revenge!’

‘Wonder what the authorities’ll do with a dozen giant alligators-’

‘Make a dozen giant purses, that’s what-’

‘If you would just listen for a moment-’

‘Shut up Gordon, alligators don’t have green hair, so how could I be turning in to one-’

‘Can we go soon?’

‘You know, Al has a point. Those alligators definitely did not have hair-’

‘Wouldn’t even have to change your name though, Al-’

A hand cracked on wooden table top.

‘J-j-j-just because!’

The silence was odd in the echoing room, and incredulity covered every face.

The clock ticked and a chair squeaked.

Each body leaned forward, and the air seemed to ripple.

‘Just... because?’

A firm nod.

‘J-j-j-just because, Mr Tracy.’

A giggle.

The thwap of a hand hitting a shoulder. More giggles.

‘That’s why, Brains? After all of the reasons we threw about, and sitting here for half an hour, that’s your reasoning?’

No repentance, no excuses.

‘That’s right, er, M-M-Mr Tracy. The, er, tranqs w-w-were all I could c-c-come up with on, er, sh-sh-short notice.’

The silence once more.

A choke of laughter and the click of a disconnecting link.

John. Discreet. But helpless.

The clearing of a throat and a mumbled, ‘excuse me’.

Virgil. Subtle. Yet obvious.

Scrubbing of a palm over reddening cheeks, and a deep breath.

Scott. Poised. Most of the time.

An open mouth and wide, guileless eyes.

Alan. Open. Always.

‘Well heck, Brains, why didn’t you just say so?’

Oh, Gordon...

The raise of an eyebrow beneath thick, blue-rimmed glasses, and a glare from behind the broad desk.

The unmistakeable voice of their father.

‘Well boys, I guess that’s that. Some things you just don’t question.’

The straightening of chairs, furtive glances and disguised snickers faded to quiet as the room emptied.

‘I c-c-could, er, give you some r-reasons, n-n-now, er, Mr Tracy.’

A soft breath and a comforting hand.

His finest development, his fondest acquisition, his newest son.

‘No, Brains. This is one of those things. Don’t question when the boys tease, don’t question why they make endless jokes, don’t question how they risk their lives each and every day. And how they keep on coming back safe and sound. Just thank whoever is watching over us to keep them as they are, and believe that someone, somewhere, knows what He’s doing. And of course, don’t question the one tenet that keeps our family safe.’

‘Mr T-T-Tracy?’

‘That Brains knows best, son. Brains knows best.’