I AM THE WORLD
by RATHEAD
RATED FRPT |
|
In which John Tracy discovers
his father is setting up a secret rescue organization...
and feels slightly uncomfortable with the idea.
Author's Notes: I owe some
people: Sam for the early beta, Lynn for the reason this is
all spelled correctly and doesn't have more errors than it
already has, and most of all, Boomercat for all-around
encouragement and for hauling me out of writer's block.
Deepest thanks to all who reviewed.
Chapter One
In which John Tracy is flown to a Pacific Island by an
engaging charter pilot; the purpose of a national space
program is discussed; the purpose of being a Tracy is
questioned.
John
smacked his head on the doorway of the plane, and had to bite
back what would have been his normal reaction. He rubbed the
top of his head, growling to himself.
"Ooh, that
looked painful," a voice behind him said. He turned around.
"No, it
was great," he said. There was a short, bird-like woman
standing in front of the cockpit door with her hands on her
hips. She looked to be in her mid-to late-thirties, with
reddish hair that stuck up from her head in an umbra of
corkscrews. She reminded John of an aggressive daisy.
"You're
too tall for the plane, is the problem," she said. She had an
accent that was halfway between Australian and American. An
expat, he would wager.
"You ever
consider that maybe the plane should be able to accommodate
people over five ten?" he asked, a little more snappishly than
he meant to.
"Oh, it
can accommodate all kinds," she said, her smile icing over a
little.
"I'm
sorry," John said. Rule number one of travel was do not
irritate the person responsible for getting you there. "I
haven't actually slept in something like a week. I'm John
Tracy, and I'm usually much nicer than this." He stuck out his
hand.
She shook
it briefly. "I've been wondering where you'd gotten to," she
said. "I'm Nancy Kowalski, and if you can sit down and get
yourself situated without causing yourself too much injury, we
can get going."
John sat
down on a seat on the left side of the plane and looked out
the window. Apparently, he had been to Australia once when he
was five, but he had no memory of it. He had always wanted to
go, and now that he was finally here, he wasn't allowed to
even look around.
He was
trying very hard not to be resentful of the fact that he was
even here. Not that he was mad about being home; far from it.
But he had really wanted to get some sleep, see some of his
friends and maybe try to catch his brother Alan and see how he
was doing, spend some time in the sun and just in general get
reacquainted with the world. But instead, the long and
efficient arm of Tracy Industries had sent a message to the
top brass at ISA stating that John Tracy was healthy and sane
enough to skip the rest of his reassessment period and was
going to the airport to grab the next flight to Sydney where a
charter plane would meet him to take him to that island
property his father had bought years ago and suddenly seemed
to have regained an interest in. ISA, it would seem, did not
tempt the ire of one of its biggest contractors. And neither,
thought John wryly, did he.
The little
jet swung out onto the runway. It stood there for a moment,
taking a deep breath, and then hurtled itself down the strip
and into the sky. John took a second to scoff at the pathetic
level of g force, and then turned to stare out the window. The
Pacific Ocean, blue and inviting, spread out before him.
Water. Truly amazing. It was frustrating to be so close, and
still be looking down at the ocean from above.
He pulled
a newspaper out of his bag and scanned the headlines. Probe
Reveals Intelligence Failure. He had no idea what that meant,
but it didn't sound surprising. Violence Flares in Eritrea..
He started to read the article, sighed, and then moved on. Oil
Spill Threatens Galapagos. It was strange how calm the planet
looked from above; even hurricanes looked like languid swirls
of vapor. But apparently, the world was still going to hell.
Gus was such an insulated world; at times it was easy to
forget that the serene blue ball was all chaos and anger. In
fact, he had. He checked every morning to see that all the
continents were there. That established, it was easier just to
pay attention to his work, keeping focused on the matter at
hand. On Gus, staying focused was important - everybody
stressed it. You didn't pay attention to where your mind was,
you stood a good chance of having it wander away.
A little
bonging noise distracted him out of his reverie. Nancy's
chirpy voice came through the intercom.
"We've
reached our cruising altitude of twenty-five thousand feet.
I've turned off the seatbelt sign, but if you're especially
clumsy or freakishly tall, you might just want to stay put.
The skies ahead look clear, and we're not expecting any
turbulence, but standard disclaimers apply and this is a not
an area that can be subject to litigation. Smoking is
unfortunately no longer tolerated or permitted in the presence
of American passport holders, and international law statutes
do apply. Due to the requirements of our typical passengers,
there is a fridge in the bulkhead containing five varieties of
beer, but regretfully we have no actual food on board this
plane. We will reach our destination in about an hour and a
half. And although you probably know this, I am a pilot, not a
waitress. Help yourself or not at all."
John
stared at the intercom for a second, and then got up and
walked up to the cockpit. There was only a curtain separating
it from the rest of the plane, so he just stuck his head
around it.
"You're
funny," he told the pilot. "Qantas could use someone like
you."
She shook
her head. "And waste my talents on corporate air? No thank
you." She swiveled her seat around. "So, since you haven't
flown with me before, there's a few rules here."
"I'm
leaving." He started to drop the curtain.
"No, you
don't have to leave. There's just some rules."
"I don't
want to fly the plane."
She
smiled. "Well, good. Because that's the main rule. And there
are official rules against you sitting in the pilot's chair.
Not that you asked. But everybody does."
"Yeah. I
still don't want to fly the plane."
"Good.
Now, since you're what Julie calls 'a preferred customer' and
I call 'a Tracy,' you can sit up here and talk to me if you
like. But you start to annoy me, I reserve the right to shoot
you." She smiled. "It's legal now."
John
considered this for a moment, and then maneuvered himself into
the co-pilot's seat, and began looking over the controls. "Is
this yours?"
"Oh yeah.
Well, mine and my partner's. We got it at auction - you know,
a bloke gets arrested for not paying his taxes and everything
goes on the block? Got a real good deal. We also have a little
Cessna, for the bush tours. But this one is my baby."
John
smiled. Pilots and their planes. Nancy looked at him
appraisingly for long minute, and John grew uncomfortable
under her gaze. "What?" he asked, finally.
"So,
you're the long-lost Tracy brother."
"I am?"
"Yup."
This was
news. "According to whom?"
"Who do
you think? Your father. Your pack of brothers. You are the
last one, right? There aren't any more?"
"I don't
know, how many have you met?"
She ticked
off on her fingers. "The tall one, the funny one, the shy one,
the friendly one, and the blond one." She looked up. "Or are
you the blond one?"
"No,
actually Alan is the blond one," John said. "But I think
you've picked up an extra. Not that that's impossible. You
didn't get their names?"
"I fly the
planes. Names are Julie's - my partner - department. Well,
Julie flies the planes too...I'm just terrible with names."
She smiled at him. "I've been flying you lot for over a year
now, but...for example, I've forgotten yours already."
"John," he
said.
"You'd
think I could remember that easy enough. I've got a head like
a sieve for names. And pretty much every thing else, come to
that. So, your father tells me you've been in the army for two
years."
"He did?"
"Didn't
he?"
"My father
told you I was in the army?"
She
studied him for a moment. "I guess not. Let me guess: the
Navy. Air Force? WASP?"
He kept
shaking his head.
"Marines?
No...oh, I don't know. Canadian Mounties? Eagle Scouts? Girl
Scouts?"
John
laughed, finally. "ISA."
Nancy just
gave him a blank look, and John sighed. "It's the
international organization that runs Grissom Moon Base."
"Oh...it's
like NASA."
"No," John
said, with the air of someone who had long since resigned
himself to repetition. "NASA is American, and the moon, in
spite of some claims to the contrary, belongs to everyone. ISA
is ISA."
"So you're
an astronaut," Nancy said.
"You know,
about one per cent of ISA is actually cosmonauts. The rest are
scientists or engineers. They're called cosmonauts, by the
way. They were going to call them lunarnauts but somebody
pointed out that it sounded too much like "looney nuts" so
they went another way. There were actual meetings about this."
He yawned. "I haven't slept in what I think is actually three
days, and I'm pretty sure all of them were the same Tuesday,
so just stop me if I start to ramble."
"You're an
engineer." Nancy sounded disappointed.
"No, I'm
an astronaut. I spent the past year on the moon, working on
the communication system for the satellite array and
developing an onsite system for the deployment of deep-space
probes." He paused, and seeing her blank look, added, "But it
took place on the moon, which automatically makes it really
interesting."
"I can
believe that. How long were you there for?"
"A little
over a year."
She was
staring at him in astonishment. "You've been on the moon for
over a year? That's...that's incredible."
John
considered this for a moment, but didn't say anything. Nancy
continued.
"I mean,
god, I've always considered myself lucky, because I grew up in
this really horrible part of New Jersey and just couldn't wait
to get someplace where I could - oh, not be like everybody
else. I don't know why I felt I needed to be someplace else to
do that, since you can pretty much do that anywhere. But
anyway, I was living in Oregon after dropping out of college
and met Julie and she said, come to Australia with me and
we'll fly planes, and I said great, and here I am. And I
thought that was an adventure. The moon." She shook her head.
"I couldn't even picture it."
John
thought for a moment. "You could, actually. If I happened to
have a picture, I could show you. The only difference between
a picture of the landscape of the moon and the actual
landscape of the moon is your field of view. I could show you
a picture, and you could go to that place a thousand years
from now and chances are, nothing would be different. You
would be able to picture exactly what it's like. There's no
air, nothing changes, there's nothing to move anything around.
It is a fixed visual experience. It's actually a pretty fixed
experience all around."
Nancy was
quiet for a moment. John rubbed his eyes. This is what
happened when he was tired; he started speaking without being
aware of what he was saying.
"Didn't
you get any time off?"
"Time off,
sure. Time down, no." He yawned. "Most people are up there for
six months. I volunteered to stay longer. I thought I was
going to be there until the end of the year, but they want to
expand the training program and so they brought me back." A
little suddenly, he thought to himself. His boss had assured
him it was just a routine personnel shuffle, but John still
had his suspicions. It didn't feel so much like a rotation of
service ending as it did being yanked from the sky. He was
sure there was some plan at the end of it, but he hadn't yet
been able to figure out what it was.
"What's it
like?"
John
thought for a moment. "It's hard to describe. It's very
strange. Everything is the same. All the walls are the same
material, all the floors, all the light is at the same
brightness...and it's small. The rooms are small, the halls
are narrow. It can be a little claustrophobic, if that sort of
thing bothers you."
"Do you
like it?"
"Well,
it's the moon. Who gets to do that?" He really didn't want to
talk about this with a stranger, even a particularly nice one.
"So what about you? Why did you become a pilot?"
"Oh."
Nancy's voice trailed off. "I think people are always
expecting me to say something like 'I always loved adventure'
or 'I always wanted to fly,' but to be honest, I had never
given it a thought when I was growing up." She paused.
"Without
getting too much into it, someone took me up in a plane, and
explained to me that there was no sort of impossibility to
doing this." She glanced at John. "I never thought - I guess I
was just in the habit of looking at things I didn't do as
things I couldn't do, rather than the other way around. And
suddenly, here's the whole sky to play in, and she tells me
that there's no mystery to it, and no bravery - just a
decision. An act of saying yes, of doing. And I just..." she
took a breath. "Fell in love with...well... that whole idea.
The whole day." She laughed, self-conscious. "Sounds stupid,
doesn't it."
John shook
his head. "No."
"Just for
the record, I immediately went back to hating everything."
John
laughed. "But really, that was it? One day? You just pointed
your whole life at something else?"
Nancy
thought for a moment. "Pretty much."
"Any
regrets?"
"Are you
kidding? The other day I got an email from a friend of mine,
excited because at her work she finally got an office with a
window. My whole life is a window. There's nothing to regret."
"Huh,"
John said thoughtfully.
"Oh, don't
tell me that there wasn't some moment when you were a kid and
you saw something go rocketing up into space and went "
'that's the life for me,'" Nancy said.
"We're
different," he said after a minute. "Dad was an astronaut. He
quit NASA a little after Alan was born - the blond one - but
it never seemed to be that far from him. We knew all the guys
in his program, we used to go down to Cape Canaveral to watch
launches..." John stopped, thinking. He had forgotten about
that. Standing in the cool darkness, shivering slightly, and
then suddenly, an explosion of orange and red, billows of
smoke, thunder rattling his heart. It was hard to tell if
something was blowing up or if this was supposed to happen
until he saw Scott, tinged the color of fire, pointing
exultantly to the sky at the triumphant ascension of the
rocket. John couldn't have been more than seven or eight at
the time.
"How does
that make you different?" Nancy asked.
John was
quiet for so long that Nancy repeated her question.
"I heard
you; I was just trying to think of the answer. Maybe because
we always knew it was possible." He paused, still searching.
"Most...when you're a kid, you don't really think you'll be
able to go up into outer space. I mean, 99.9 percent of the
population doesn't know anyone who's ever done that. But we
did; we were surrounded by them. Most kids don't even know
someone who can fly a plane, and Scott and Virgil both soloed
when they were fifteen. I guess when you grow up around a
person who does impossible things it's harder to think of them
as impossible." John lapsed into silence again, thinking. "It
also moves the bar pretty high."
"I would
think so," Nancy said. "Do you think you hit it?"
John
laughed. "You never hit it. Nobody ever hits it. But God help
you if you stop trying."
Nancy
smiled. "I have to say, I'm very fond of your father. Aside
from the fact that he pays us very well, he is quite the
character."
"You have
no idea," John said.
"He must
be proud of you, following in his footsteps."
John
hesitated a moment. The truth was, as is usual when dealing
with any family dynamic, more complicated than that.
"I
suppose. Yes. Of course."
Nancy
looked at him for a moment, a faint crease appearing between
her eyebrows.
"Do you
like being an astronaut?"
John sat
back in his chair. "That's an interesting question. Let me get
your opinion on something. What do you think the space program
is for?"
"We don't
have much of one here," Nancy said. "At least, that I know
of."
"No, you
don't. NASA, then, back when you were still American. What do
you think it's for?"
Nancy
shrugged. "Exploration?"
"What
else?"
"Discovery?"
"That's
just a hoped-for result of exploration."
Nancy
looked irritated. "I don't know. Because it's there? To find
aliens? Because we can?"
John
nodded. "Okay."
"Well,
what do you think it's for?"
"I don't
know. That's what I'm trying to figure out. If I can figure
out what it's for, then I can figure out what I'm doing in
it." He yawned. "It must have been nice to be in the Apollo
program. There was a clear sense of purpose back then. It was
national pride. And cold war paranoia, but mostly national
pride. The president sent out a clarion call, and NASA
responded, and what did you get? Men walking on the moon.
Everyone was elated. It was good for the country, somehow." He
shook his head. "It was good for mankind. You know, a giant
step for mankind." He looked at Nancy. "When was the last time
anything happened that was universally acknowledged as being
good for mankind?"
Nancy
thought. "When they cured polio?"
John sunk
into his seat. "They never cured polio. Salk came up with a
vaccine. There's still polio."
Nancy
looked at him. "Listen to me, Jim. You seem like a very
intelligent young man. But I want you to understand something.
I've explained this to your brothers as well."
"John.
What?"
"You are a
Tracy. This is what it means: you have an obscene amount of
money. You practically have your own island. You are supposed
to be out crashing cars, doing drugs, dating supermodels,
going to rehab, and in general driving your father crazy. You
are not supposed to worry if your job isn't good enough for
humanity. Who the hell cares? You're an astronaut, for crying
out loud - you're not dumping toxic waste into the bloody
ocean."
John was
laughing, so Nancy continued.
"Honestly,
you and your brothers are the most boring people on the
planet. When your father - who is not boring - first hired us,
Julie and I thought, well, this will be great. We'll be
jetting the jet set and finding diamond earrings in the seat
cushions. You know what we get instead? A bunch of people who
stare into laptops and mutter to themselves. Five brothers who
have this thing about civic duty. What is wrong with you? Have
you learned nothing from the royal family? You're supposed to
be in disgrace. You're not supposed to be...enlisting. You are
all very disappointing. Very."
"I'm truly
sorry." John said. "We have crashed a lot of cars, though.
Alan alone has totaled at least three." John didn't mention
Gordon's accident.
"I suppose
that's a start," Nancy said grudgingly.
"We'll try
harder."
"I doubt
it," Nancy said. "Okay. I'm going to start taking her down so
you need to go back and buckle in."
"See you
on the ground." John said.
"Just
think about what I said." Nancy said grumpily.
Chapter Two
In which John Tracy discovers his father is thinking of going
sovereign; Gordon Tracy discovers his brother isn't an
astronomer; Brains gets a cameo.
John
stared down as the small group of islands grew larger. Nancy
was spiraling down in a large, lazy circle, giving John a good
view of the place that apparently his father had now chosen to
call home. John had received many long messages from his
various brothers, and all of them had mentioned in an offhand
way that their father had sold the house in Phoenix that had
served him as a home base for the past ten years and had moved
to the island. Gordon wrote the most about it, because he
moved there himself when he got out of the hospital six months
ago. John had thought the whole thing strange, but kept it to
himself. He figured he would just suss out the situation
whenever he got back down, since there wasn't anything he
could do about it. It would be a long way to travel for
Christmas, but other than that, it didn't really matter. Their
father had lived a life of constant travel for almost as long
as John could remember.
As Nancy
made her final pass, John could see a large, circular
structure like a large white doughnutplaced over the foliage.
He noticed the blue blob of a swimming pool and sighed. Leave
it to his father to put in a pool when he was surrounded by
tropical waters. He was ruminating on the idea of wealth
canceling out taste when he remembered Gordon.
They
landed smoothly on a small paved runway surrounded by palm
trees. He waited until they stopped, and then unbuckled his
seat belt and picked up his bag. Nancy was unbolting the door.
"Thanks
for the ride," John said.
"It was
nice meeting you," she said, as she struggled with the door.
"Stupid thing always sticks. I guess I'm going to have to come
up with a new classification for you, since "the tall one" and
"the blond one" are already taken." She pushed the door open
and hit the mechanism for the stairs, which unfolded with a
grinding noise.
"You could
always try John," John said. He put his hand on the doorframe
ducked, and stuck his head out, squinting against the sun.
Behind him, Nancy made a disparaging noise.
"John? How
on earth do you expect me to remember a name like John?"
John went
down a step or two, and then turned around and put out his
hand. "I enjoyed talking with you. Have fun flying."
She smiled
as she took it. "Can't help that, can I?"
They shook
hands and she gave him a flip salute. John walked down the
stairs.
He paused
on the runway, and slung his bag over his shoulder. Heat rose
from the black tarmac in waves. He stared up at the sky for a
minute, and then heard the whine of the engines behind him.
Better get off the runway before Nancy decapitated him with a
wing.
Through
the glaze of heat, he could see a figure walking towards him.
He wished he had a pair of sunglasses. Whoever it was, they
were laughing.
"You
should see the expression on your face," the figure called.
John dropped his bag and gestured to the entire island, ocean,
and sky.
"Where the
hell am I?"
Scott
laughed again, and trotted forward. He stopped in front of his
brother and looked at him for a long moment.
"You look
terrible," he said happily. "Are you all right?"
"Thank
you, Scott," John said. "It's nice to see you again, too."
Scott
caught him in a back-thumping embrace. "You've been gone for
way too long," he said.
John
regained his balance, smiling. "I didn't expect you to be
here."
"I know.
It's a surprise. Come on. Dad's been pacing around for three
hours waiting for you, pretending he isn't." He picked up
John's bag and headed towards shallow steps that had been cut
into the cliff face at the end of the runway. John followed.
"Virgil
was supposed to meet you in Florida, did anyone tell you?"
Scott said. He didn't wait for John to answer. "The schedule
got completely mangled, and Dad had to go to Singapore so
Virgil had to...anyway. We should have been there. I'm sorry."
"It's all
right," John said, although he had been irritated at the time.
"I got Dad's message."
"Yeah.
Everyone else gets a big welcome home sign, and you get an
itinerary. Bet that made you feel good."
John
laughed. "It's all right, really."
They had
reached the end of the runway, and were standing at a flight
of metal industrial stairs, bolted straight into the cliff
face. "Wow," John said.
"Dad's
having an elevator built, but for now we've got to take the
stairs."
"An
elevator?" John asked, as they started to climb. "Where? Why?"
"You'll
have to wait until Father tells you," Scott said. "He's made
some changes to the place since you were here last. When were
you here last?"
"I don't
know. When I was nineteen, maybe? We hopped over for a few
hours, but there wasn't anything here."
"Okay.
He's added a few things."
"I
noticed. How come?"
Scott
shrugged. "He likes building things." He turned around. "I
can't believe you're back."
"I can't
believe I'm here," John saidwith complete sincerity.
"Are you
glad to be out of there?"
"Yes."
"We were
beginning to think you weren't ever going to come back."
"I was
giving that some thought too." John said. "How far up this
mountain is...oh."
They
emerged out onto a wide, iron-railed patio. A large pool
sparkled in the center. A curving staircase led to a balcony,
and a series of wide, dark windows. To theright, farther up
the mountain, was the doughnutbuilding he had seen from the
air. It seemed to be mostly comprised of an expanse of curved
glass windows nestled among palm trees.
"He built
a house. He built two houses? What's that round thing for?"
Scott made
a sweeping gesture with his arm. "Welcome to Tracy Island."
John let
out a bark of laughter. "You can't be serious."
Scott
shrugged. "Dad's the only one who can say it with a straight
face, but that's what he's calling it."
"Is he
entering his colonial phase?" John asked as they mounted the
stairs to the balcony. "Or is this just garden-variety
megalomania?"
Scott
opened the sliding door. "Why don't you ask him that?" he
said, ushering John inside.
It was dim
and cool inside the room, and John's eyes registered only
blackness, but he could hear his father saying his name and
felt himself being embraced and his back pounded a few times.
His vision cleared, and his father was standing in front of
him, holding him at an arm's length by the shoulders,
scrutinizing him. John straightened up under his gaze and met
his father's eyes.
"It's good
to have you back," his father said warmly.
"It's good
to be back," John said, grinning.
"You look
about worn out, John."
"I'm fine,
Father." His father looked great. Maybe there was a little
more silver in the hair, but he looked incredibly healthy.
He'd probably live to be a hundred and twenty, John thought.
His father
put his arm around John's shoulders and led him further into
the room. "So, what do you think?"
John
looked around. His father's love of Asian art, always a bass
note in his decorating, seemed to have taken the melody.
Virgil once remarked that it was a natural progression from
the austerity of their father's Kansas childhood, with the
added appeal of being one of the few art forms with his
fetishistic approach to discipline. The room was all darkly
glowing wood and low couches, a cool sanctuary from the brassy
blues and greens outside the wall of windows.
"I...it's..." John was at a loss for words.
"That's
pretty much what I said." Scott said from where he was perched
on a desk. "Do you want some coffee or something, John? You
look like you're about to fall over."
"No, I..."
John looked at his father. "It's very impressive, Father. But
I don't understand why."
"Why
what?"
"Well..."
John stopped. You had to be careful in this sort of thing.
"Why here?"
"Well, now
that you boys are all grown, I thought it would be nice to
have a place you all could come to when you have time off.
Mother's sold the house in Kansas."
"She did?"
John said with surprise. He loved that house.
"She
didn't have any need for so much space any longer, and she's
getting on. She deserves to live in a place that doesn't get
fifteen feet of snow every year."
"That's
true," John said. But he would miss that house. They had spent
every summer and all the major holidays there for as long as
he could remember. It was an old farmhouse - not very big, but
with a certain tottering dignity, and was surrounded by
endless wheat fields. He and his brothers had all been in
various private boarding schools from the age of twelve, and
his grandmother's house was the closest thing he had ever had
to a permanent home.
"Nobody
ever liked the house in Phoenix, and the apartments in Seattle
and New York aren't big enough for all of us. It makes sense,"
his father was saying.
"Well,
sure," John said. "But...don't you think maybe it would have
made a little more sense to centralize things somewhere
more..." he stopped.
"What?"
"Where you
didn't need to build a runway in order to get to it?"
Scott
laughed, but his father just waved that away. "It's part of
the appeal."
John slid
a glance at Scott, who just shrugged.
"Hey!
You're back!"
John
wheeled around to see his younger brother Gordon standing in a
doorway he hadn't noticed before. He was carrying a large box
under one arm, and several large glass pipes under the other.
"I have to drop this stuff to Virgil...just... don't leave the
planet again." He darted off before John even had a chance to
say anything to him.
"Virgil's
here?"
"We're all
here, except Alan. We haven't seen you in a while, you know."
Scott said.
"He's down
in the lab," his father said. "Gordon will get him."
"Lab?
There's a lab?" He turned to Scott. "He built a lab?"
"This
house has everything," Scott said, clearly enjoying John's
surprise. "Pool, gym, game room. The sound system is insane.
The lab's not bad."
John
opened his mouth to ask another question, but was cut off by
Gordon barreling into the room and tackling him, sending him
flying back into the couch. Gordon got him in a headlock with
one arm, rubbed his knuckles roughly over his head for a
minute, then jumped off, grinning.
"On behalf
of the people of Earth, welcome back."
"On behalf
of the sane, thank you," John retorted, smoothing his hair
down. "Why can't any of you people say hello without hitting
me?"
Virgil,
who had been standing in the doorway, watching this with his
hands in his pockets, stepped forward and stuck out his hand.
"John."
"Virgil,"
John said, taking it.
They
shook, seriously. Virgil broke first, and smiled.
"Have you
been sick?" Virgil asked. "You look a little washed out."
"Okay.
Aside from the fact that I just spent the last year on the
goddamned moon, I just spent a week in zero g, and plus I
haven't slept in about three days, so everyone can just back
off." He looked up at his brothers. "God, you guys are tan."
Gordon
dropped down next to him on the couch and banged him on the
knee lightly with his fist. "So. How was it?"
"It's
weird," John told him. "If you take the long view, it's just a
strange place."
"You
couldn't pay me to spend that much time in a place like that,"
Scott said, moving around to join the conversation. John just
shrugged.
"What's so
strange about it?" Gordon asked.
John
thought for a moment. "It's like working in a place designed -
and maybe staffed - by dadaists."
"I have no
idea what that means," Gordon said, as Virgil started to
chuckle. "But I'll take it to mean you're glad to be back."
"More than
I can possibly say," John said fervently.
"How are
the mining operations coming along?" His father wanted to
know.
John
twisted around to look at him. "They keep pushing the date
back, but they've finally got their surveying and sampling
routine paying off. I think realistically, they'll start in
about two years."
"They've
been talking about mining up there since I was in high
school," Gordon said. "I remember talking about it in class."
"It'll put
them eight years behind schedule," John told him. "For ISA,
that's actually pretty good. The launch system is going well.
Should be ready next year." He rubbed his eyes. He was getting
that metallic, slightly dizzy feeling he got when he was
really sleep deprived. He was going to crash in a minute.
Scott and his father started discussing something about ISA
that he couldn't quite follow.
"What
about you?" he asked Gordon. "How are you?"
Gordon
raised his eyebrows for a minute, and then grinned. "Are you
asking about my near-death experience?"
John
looked annoyed, and Gordon relented. "I'm fine."
"You know,
if I could have come home..."
"Nobody
expected you to." Gordon said. John gave him a funny look.
"Hemeans
we understood why you couldn't." Virgil explained, sitting
down next to him. Gordon nodded.
"Anyway,
I'm fine," Gordon said firmly. John figured that if he wanted
to talk about it, now probably wasn't the time. John himself
didn't agree with Virgil - it really didn't matter if he
couldn't come home. What mattered was that he didn't come
home.
"I saw on
the news some of the pictures from the telescope." Gordon
said.
"Yeah,
they're pretty amazing," John said.
"Have you
had a chance at it?" Gordon asked.
John shook
his head. "What, are you kidding? Never."
"Why not?"
Virgil asked.
John
frowned. "Because I'm not an astronomer."
"Since
when?" Gordon asked.
"Since
always. I'm tech - and I'm not even tech on the telescope.
I've got nothing to do with that program at all. Don't you
people even know what I do for a living?"
"But can't
you just sneak a look sometime?" Gordon asked, ignoring the
last question.
"It's not
like it's on a tripod by a window." John said. "Anyway,
there's a waiting list years long to get access to that thing.
I don't even have clearance for the room."
"That's
not fair," Gordon said. "You're just as qualified as those
guys."
"I'm not.
And that's got nothing to do with it," John said, yawning.
Privately, he agreed with Gordon. The telescope on Grissom was
the most advanced to date, and combined with the lack of light
pollution, it had already returned some provocative images. He
would give a kidney to get a chance at it, but unless he went
back to school for a couple of more years, he was just going
to have to look at the pictures on the ISA website along with
everyone else. Astronomy was science, but it was also
academia, and sometimes what you knew didn't matter nearly as
much as where you learned it. John had postponed his plans for
a doctorate when he switched into ISA's program at Harvard,
and that closed a lot of doors for him.
"You all
right?" Gordon peered at him. "You look a little glassy-eyed."
"Excuse
me, Mr. Tracy?" A soft voice interrupted them. John turned
around to see a slight, bespectacled young man standing in the
doorway Gordon had appeared in before. "I apologize for
interrupting, but I have the results of the stress test."
"Yes,
thank you, Brains." His father turned to John. "John, why
don't you try and get some sleep? We can all catch up around
dinner." He followed the man out of the room.
John
looked at his three brothers. "Who was that?"
"Brains,"
Scott said.
"Yeah, I
caught that, thanks. Who is he?"
"Scientist-in-residence," Scott said succinctly. He bent down
and picked up John's bag. "He works for Father. Let's get you
to bed before you keel over."
John was
too tired to argue, and followed Scott down a different
hallway. "I guess it makes sense," he mumbled. "He must have
come with the lab."
Scott
laughed, and opened a door. "Kyrano decided you're in here.
Sleep as long as you want and don't worry about waking up for
dinner if you don't want to."
"I'm not
sure I'm going to have a choice. Who's Cyrano?"
"Kyrano.
Interesting guy. Right up your street. Go to sleep." Scott
started to shut the door, as John flopped down on the bed.
"Hey,"
Scott said.
"What?"
John said into his pillow.
"It really
is good to have you back."
"Mmmph."
Scott
closed the door.
Chapter Three
In which John Tracy is reacquainted with a the pleasures of
Earth in general and good plumbing in particular; Scott Tracy
reveals his new career path and tells a lie.
Somewhere,
there was a memory of a thin beam of light slicing across his
face, a voice asking him a question, but it all got lost in
the tangle of restless dreams and diving sleep. He opened his
eyes, and saw that the clock by his bed read 4:30. He stared
at the numbers for a minute or two, waiting for his brain to
make some sort of sense of the information. Then he remembered
where he was, sat up, and looked at the clock again. He had
slept through to the next day. Actually, thinking about it, he
wasn't entirely sure he hadn't gone clear through the whole
day and into the next. He felt as if he hadn't so much slept
through the night as plowed through it.
A half an
hour later, hair still damp and clad in some worn jeans and a
Harvard t-shirt, he was wandering quietly down the hallway,
hoping he was going in the right direction. As much as he
wanted to see if Scott had been serious about the house, he
didn't want to start exploring until he had some coffee, and
hopefully some food.
He found
the kitchen after ducking down a few wrong hallways off the
lounge. This wasn't a house, it was a rabbit warren. He knew
his father never did anything by halves, but how much room did
he really need? He didn't really expect that all of them were
going to spend any great amount of time here, did he? The ISA
space station was closer to his apartment in Miami than this
island.
He found
the coffee pot half full and still hot. Well, at least some
things hadn't changed. He rummaged around until he found a mug
and poured himself a cup. He snagged a couple of pieces of
fruit from a bowl on the counter and went to go see if he
could find Scott.
He was
seated on the balcony, feet up on the railing, staring out
over the ocean. He looked up when John pushed the door aside.
"Hey," he
said. "You're awake."
"Had to
happen sometime," John said, dragging a chair next to
Scott'sand assuming the same position. "Is it Wednesday or
Thursday?"
"Tuesday."
"God.
Still?"
"It's
tomorrow," Scott told him. "You crossed the dateline
yesterday, remember?"
"Not
really," John said. He took a sip of coffee and stared out at
the ocean. This used to be his favorite time of the day,
poised on the periphery of sunrise. The world looked almost
devoid of color; as if the black of night had to be turned
down to gray before the colors of day could be tuned in. It
only lasted a few minutes, but he liked it, existing as it did
on the edge of things.
"Do you
feel better?" Scott asked. "You look better."
"I will
after I eat something," John said. He put his coffee down on
the ground next to him and started peeling an orange. "The
shower here is amazing."
"It is?"
Scott said.
John
shrugged. "Water actually comes out of it, and it doesn't shut
off after two minutes, so I'm a fan."
"Two
minutes?"
"There's
no water on the moon. Everything is recycled. And rationed.
Really, really rationed."
"Right, of
course. I keep forgetting."
John bit
into the orange, and closed his eyes. Fresh fruit. Earth
ruled. He opened his eyes to see Scott looking at him.
"Good
orange?"
"Shut up.
I'm having a moment."
"What did
you miss the most?" Scott asked, curious. "I mean, aside from
people."
"Fresh
air," John said promptly. No question to that one. "After a
while, everything there just smells the same, and it's really
not the world's greatest smell. And...weather. Changes in
temperature. You know, the temperature is regulated to the
exact degree. So you can stand by the window and look out at a
landscape that's frying at hundred and seventy degrees and is
so bright you can barely look at it - and never feel any
warmer. The sun hits the window, but there are so many
spectral filters in the glass - if you want to call it glass -
and it's tempered in such a way that no heat comes through.
You're really in a bubble." He ate another piece of orange.
"This is the greatest thing in the universe. You want some?"
"No, I
don't want to deprive you," Scott said. "Fresh air,
oranges...what else?"
John just
shrugged. "It's...it's not like any place on earth, Scott.
Obviously. So you just wind up missing - I don't know. What's
here and not there? Pretty much the whole world. I missed
everything."
"I
couldn't deal with something like that," Scott said. "Being
cooped up inside, the same people all the time. I'd go crazy."
John
agreed. "You probably would. It's hard."
"It
doesn't sound like it was too much fun."
"It's not
fun. Fun is probably the last word on the list. But it's like
running a marathon. That's not fun either." John took a deep
breath. "But it's supposed to be good for you."
"Well, if
it's any consolation, you nearly gave Dad an aneurysm when you
said you were staying up there longer."
"Really?"
This was interesting. "Why?"
"You know
how Dad gets when something interferes with his plan." Scott
said "I - I mean, he was just running around railing against
the incompetence of the ISA, and how if they had let NASA take
the lead, it wouldn't be such a bureaucratic mess."
"Oh. Well,
he's got a point," John said. "But if NASA was running the
program, I would have spent the last two years in Florida,
waiting for a chance to go up into space to test the effect of
zero g on tadpoles or something."
"I guess
so," Scott said. John and his father had spent countless hours
arguing over the respective differences between ISA and NASA;
John knew it bored everyone else senseless.
"So what's
with you quitting the Air Force?" John said.
"Well, I
never wanted to make a career of it, anyway," Scott said.
John
blinked. Apparently, Scott had forgotten his childhood and
adolescence.
"Besides,
I got a better offer. You want some more coffee?"
John
drained his cup and handed it to Scott, who took it and went
inside.
The night
had lost, and the sun was rising behind him, turning the sea
from bloodless gray to turquoise. John stood up and leaned
against the railing. He could see a small strip of rock-strewn
beach below, ringed by a tangle of palm trees and undergrowth.
Somewhere in there, a bird was screaming. He breathed as
deeply as he knew how, and tasted salt at the back of his
throat.
He heard
Scott behind him. "Gordon's awake," he told him, handing John
his coffee.
"What
better offer?" John asked.
Scott
hesitated for a moment so brief that John almost missed it.
"Working with Father."
John
turned around and leaned against the railing. "Doing what?"
"Working
with him on some aircraft he's prototyping."
"You're
working for the company?" John asked uncertainly.
"Yeah...on
a project-by-project basis, though. And working directly for
Father."
John
frowned. "But..." he stopped.
"But
what?" Scott asked.
"You're
really working for the company?"
"I do have
a passing acquaintance with aircraft, you know," Scott said,
more amused than offended.
"Yeah, and
I can fly the shuttle. It doesn't mean I know how to build
one," John snapped.
Scott was
taken aback. "What's it to you?"
Nothing.
It was nothing to him. John didn't know why the idea bugged
him.
"Virgil's
more involved with design than I am," Scott admitted.
"Virgil's
working for Dad too?"
"He's
involved with the same project."
"Did Dad
recruit everyone while I was away? Is Gordon in on it too?"
Scott
raised an eyebrow. "No, Gordon's been in physical therapy."
That shut
John up. He sat back down.
"Do you
want to hear about the craft we're working on?" Scott asked.
"Some of the ideas are really incredible - well, they're
really Brains's ideas.Father discovered him at a symposium
giving a lecture to an empty theater. The things he's come up
with are years ahead of their time. Given the right
circumstances, they could really change things here on earth."
John
didn't say anything. Scott leaned forward to try to catch his
eye.
"You
listening, Johnny?"
"Yes.
You're changing life as we know it."
Scott was
annoyed. "Listen, you don't have to be..."
John cut
him off wearily. "Forget it. That's not at you. Build your
plane. It's just..." he stopped.
"What?"
Scott said, more gently.
"Well,
that's what ISA has been telling me since I got there.
Actually, that's what ISA has been saying since it was set up.
Life, humanity - all the world - will be better through this
technology. Through these accomplishments." He looked at his
brother. "Have you noticed any improvement? I haven't even
noticed any change."
From
inside the house, they could hear someone moving around. John
turned around to look, but only saw his own reflection. He
looked better than yesterday, but the week in zero g, combined
with the flight home and the flight here, had taken their
toll. Or maybe it was just that he was sitting next to Scott,
who looked so at home.
"It's
Gordon," Scott reminded John.
"How is
he?"
Scott ran
his finger around the rim of his coffee cup. "In a way, he's
fine." He paused. "Virgil says that he's alive, and everything
after that fact is a bonus."
"Does
Gordon see it that way?" John asked.
"Well, you
can try putting that in a way that won't get your head ripped
off. He won't talk about it. He'll joke about it, but it's
hard to get him to really say anything substantive. Virgil
says that Gordon will come to it in his own time, or
something." Scott gave an irritated wave.
"What do
you think?" John asked.
"I think
Gordon isn't Virgil."
"No
argument there."
Scott
sighed. "Gordon is a tough kid, but what happened to him...I
don't think Virgil can really comprehend it. I know I can't.
It's the type of thing you have to live through to really
understand. It helped that everyone was there - we all
practically lived at the hospital for around two months - but
you can't recover for someone. He's got to go through it, and
we try to help as much as we can, but he's got to do it by
himself."
John
listened, staring at the wavering reflection in the surface of
his coffee. He had only been on Grissom Base a month or so,
still somewhat entranced by the white noise, the lower
gravity, the constant night outside the few windows, the
utterly inorganic nature of the building. All of that had
shattered when Dominic, his boss at the time, had knocked on
his door and with an awkward brusqueness informed him that
there was a message from Control. Gordon had been in some sort
of accident. It was very serious. John remembered the
sickening drop in his stomach, like hitting an air pocket and
suddenly losing traction on the world. He had stared
uncomprehendingly at Dominic's impassive, embarrassed gaze,
wondering how it could be that Gordon could be dying and he
could be on the moon. Surely that couldn't be right.
"But maybe
he'll talk to you about it," Scott was saying, although he
didn't sound convinced. "You might have better luck."
John shook
himself back into the conversation. "Or Alan."
Scott
shook his head. "Alan was in worse shape than Gordon, in a
way. Alan won't talk about it at all."
"I guess
that makes sense. What does Alan know about death?"
"What do
you know about it?" Scott asked sharply.
"Jesus,
John." Gordon said, coming out onto the balcony. "You've been
here for less than a day, and already onto death lessons?" He
pulled a chair forward, and put his feet up on the railing,
copying his two brothers. "So what were you talking about?"
"Nothing."
Scott said.
"You."
John said.
Scott
sighed. Gordon grinned. "I've learned my death lesson."
"I figured
you had. I was talking about Alan." John said.
"Well,
Alan's eighteen," Gordon said, either philosophically or
diplomatically, John couldn't tell which. "So. See that shadow
over to the right, where the water gets a little bluer?"
"Yeah."
"That's
the reef. It's almost a mile long. Keep going to your right,
or east, and you hit the caves."
"What
caves?"
"There's
underwater caves on the east side of the island. Keep going,
and you hit the nice beach. It's a little less rocky, but
there's a pretty strong riptide. So general recreational
swimming by those of us who don't have medals for it goes on
right down there. What'll it be?"
"We're
going swimming?"
"There
isn't a whole lot else to do here. Reef, caves, nice beach or
rocky beach?"
"Which
would you rather?" John asked. "I'm happy with any water."
"He was
very excited about the shower," Scott said. John gave him
annoyed look.
"You look
like you need some sun," Gordon said critically, and John
laughed. "Let's do the reef." Gordon got up. "I'll get the
stuff." He went inside.
"Don't be
all day down there," Scott said. "I know Father wants to talk
to you."
John
stiffened. "About what?"
"He just
wants to talk to you," Scott said.
"About
what?" John repeated.
"You've
been away for a while, John. I think he just wants to talk to
you."
"I'm going
to be here as long as he wants me to be here," John said,
although that wasn't precisely true. "Is it something
pressing?"
"You've
been away for over a year, and he wants to talk to you!" Scott
said, annoyed. "What are you getting so defensive for?"
"You're
making it sound like I'm in trouble or something," John shot
back. "And if Father wants to talk to me, he'll talk to me. I
don't see why you have to be involved."
He went
inside, shouldering past a rumple-headed Virgil who barely
dodged out of the way in time to avoid spilling his coffee.
Virgil watched him go.
"What was
that about?" Virgil asked.
"I have
absolutely no idea. But good news: he hasn't changed any."
Virgil
nodded absently, and sat in the chair John had vacated. "He's
probably just jet-lagged. Shuttle-lagged. Something like
that."
"I don't
know, Virg. I just can never tell. Half the time we get along
great, and half the time he's thirteen again." Scott stopped
himself. "It doesn't matter. You're right. He's probably just
tired."
"Where's
he going?"
"Swimming
with Gordon."
Virgil
buried his face in his coffee cup. "Why does everyone in this
family get up at the crack of dawn? It's like a curse or
something."
"He asked
why I quit the Air Force."
Virgil
looked up. "What did you tell him?"
"That I
was working with Father. What he told me to say." Scott let
out a breath. "I wish I didn't have to. We shouldn't be lying
to them."
"True."
The coffee was waking Virgil up. "Look at it this way. We're
not lying to them. We're protecting them from the truth."
Scott gave
him a wry look. "You'd make a great politician."
Virgil
shook his head. "No, I wouldn't. I don't like lying any more
than you do. But Father said as soon as his rotation was up,
he'd broach it with John. So I'm guessing it's just a matter
of time, now."
Chapter Four
In which John Tracy floats, and Gordon Tracy boils.
Buoyancy,
thought John, floating on his back. Add that to the list of
why Earth was the best planet in the galaxy. Fresh air,
oranges and buoyancy. Floating on water was so wonderfully
different from floating in zero gravity. In water, you never
let go of the awareness of the weight of your body versus the
weight of the water. Every part of you woke up, every part of
you seemed to matter.
"I get the
feeling you're not really into doing any heavy snorkeling
today." Gordon said, appearing beside him.
"You know,
this sky is truly amazing." John said.
Gordon
looked up briefly. "Yeah, we like it. Listen, do you want to
snorkel or not?"
John
flipped over and dove down, opening his eyes. The other
universe was down here. A school of tiny silver fish darted
past him like determined shafts of light. Below him, he could
see moving streaks of color - red, orange, silver, white. The
sunlight softened as it traveled through the water,
illuminating millions of tiny life forms. This was the
opposite of outer space, John decided. Almost every inch was
claimed, all of it seemed utilized. It was the antithesis of a
vacuum. And they were still finding new forms of life, still
learning and unlearning by each new discovery. Gordon had once
remarked that the ocean was around 90 percent unexplored, a
statistic that amazed John. He hoped there were sea monsters
still around somewhere.
But not
here. He kicked up towards the surface and broke into the
harsher light, flinging his hair out of his eyes. He was a
little out of breath. Gordon appeared next to him, treading
water.
"You just
want to swim for a while?" Gordon asked.
"I am so
happy right now it's almost painful," John told him
matter-of-factly.
Gordon
laughed. "You know what? You're like someone who just got out
of prison or something."
John
leaned back until he was floating on his back again. That
sounded pretty accurate.
"Was it
really that bad?" Gordon asked.
"No. There
just isn't any water."
"Would you
say it was bad if it was?" Gordon asked.
"Probably
not," John admitted. "Would you?"
"Maybe.
Sure."
"You lie,"
John said quietly. "You are lying, and that makes you a liar."
Gordon
didn't answer. John closed his eyes. No water, no sky, no
warmth from the sun, and all the oranges tasted like they were
from Massachusetts.
He felt a
shove and flipped over ungracefully. He spun around but Gordon
was gone. He took a deep breath and dove under the water.
Gordon was hovering a few feet away, smiling with bubbles in
his teeth. John made a threatening gesture, and Gordon took
off.
He would
never catch him. By the time he was thirteen Gordon could beat
him in swimming � not that that was so surprising; at twelve
he could beat most of his age group in the state of Arizona.
John swam as fast as he could, but he simply wasn't in the
proper shape. Grissom Base had a gym, and personnel were
required to use it. But John spent a lot of time in zero g in
the past two months, and besides, required exercise could be a
pretty listless experience.
Gordon was
just a dark shadow ahead. John's lungs hurt. He headed towards
the surface and shot through, sucking in air.
Gordon
appeared about thirty feet away. "Man, you're out of shape,"
he called. "I'm bad, but you're terrible."
"If I
could lift my arms, I'd beat you around the head," John called
back. Gordon laughed.
"Do you
want to go back?"
"No. Do
you?"
"Nope."
Gordon dolphin dived under the surface, but John just stayed
where he was, treading water. He heard a splash behind him.
"I wasn't
awake for the worst part, you know." Gordon said. John turned
around. Gordon wasn't even out of breath. John didn't say
anything. Gordon skimmed his hand over the surface of the
water, making a small wave in the palm of his hand.
"Dad told
me...Scott and Virgil came, and Alan took leave...they all
just stayed at the hospital the whole time. They were the ones
who heard all the bad news, talked to the doctors. I was
asleep. I had the easy part."
John
waited until he was sure Gordon was done. "But you had seven
operations."
"I was
asleep for them, too."
"Gordon.
Come on."
Gordon was
quiet for a moment. "Do you know that pain management is an
actual medical specialty?"
"No, I
didn't know that."
"It is.
You can get a degree in it. It's not like physical therapy,
you know. It's not pain abatement or pain curing. It's pain
management. Like pain is your employee, and you tell it what
to do. Get it all together, make it one thing. Learn how to
let it not absolutely kill you."
"Does it
work?"
"Actually,
it does."
"Do you
still go?" John asked.
"No,"
Gordon said. "But it was a long year."
They wound
up wandering down the beach, with Gordon giving him a
free-associative lecture on the flora and fauna of the island,
about fifty per cent of which John was almost positive Gordon
was making up. Gordon had an ingenious way of mixing arcane
truth with fiction together in such a way that his brothers
always had the suspicion he was lying without actually being
able to figure out where the lie was in the statement. All of
them at one time or another had fallen prey to one of his
stories, although none as famously as Alan, who once informed
his high school biology class that raccoons had actually
evolved from reptiles and still had scales beneath their fur -
something Gordon had told him years ago and completely
forgotten about.
"So what
are you going to do?" John asked.
"I don't
know," Gordon said. "Do you know that there tree is actually
carnivorous? It can catch prey."
John
regarded it - a fairly innocuous, scruffy specimen covered
with a flowering vine � and then eyed his brother
suspiciously. "You want me to ask how, and I'm really going to
regret it, aren't I."
Gordon
stared back guilelessly, and then laughed. "Yeah. I'll give
you a pass because you're so enfeebled at the moment." He
dodged his brother's swipe. "I guess I could go back to WASP.
If I wanted to."
"Do you
want to?" John asked.
"I don't
know." Gordon put his hands behind his back, laced his fingers
together, and stretched. "I can't now - I wouldn't be able to
pass the physical." Off John's glance, he added, "I don't have
complete mobility."
"You look
pretty mobile to me," John said.
Gordon
stopped walking, and began turning from the waist, twisting to
the right. He got only a few inches, and then stopped. "This
is as far as it goes on this side." He turned back and twisted
to the left. "I think it's almost full on this side. I've got
a doctor's appointment in a couple of weeks, so I'll find out
then."
"Why?"
"A lot of
reasons. The muscle tissue is all screwed up. Two of my lower
vertebrae are fused, which never makes you super bendy. Hey,
check it out, right there." He pointed to a brightly colored
blur flying into the deeper foliage. "I think it's a parrot."
John
turned, but it was gone. Gordon had already started walking,
and he had to trot to catch up to him.
"It's a
matter of physical therapy," Gordon said. "Swimming helps, so
I do that as much as I can. I figure I'll be fine by the end
of the year."
"Is that
what the doctors say?"
Gordon
made an angry dismissive gesture. "What do they know? I've
already proved them wrong lots of times. I'm alive. So screw
' em. Anyway, at the end of the year I reckon I could
pass the physical and rejoin, if I wanted to. But everybody
would...I don't know why it is that we're all such suckers for
organizations. Except for Virgil. You ever wonder that?"
"What do
you mean?"
"Scott was
in the Air Force, you're in ISA, Alan is in NASA, and I was in
WASP. I mean, you and me especially. I was always like,
nobody's going to make me be a pilot. And you - I remember you
bitching all the time about Dad using military time and the
company being so hand-in-glove with the military. And now
you're in the military."
"I am not
in the military," John snapped. "You can't be in the military
in an international research organization. What are we going
to do, throw calculators at people?"
"You have
a uniform. You have rank."
"I have a
job title! And...well, yeah, I do have a uniform. But it's not
the military, and I don't have any rank."
"You're
funded by the government."
"So is the
post office."
"Fine.
You're not in the military. You're just in a super structured
organization with a rigid promotional system that demands
complete loyalty and won't tolerate dissent." He grinned at
John. "This is all stuff you said to me in a letter, so don't
get all snarly face. I'm saying, how did we all wind up in
these things? Scott, I get. Alan...well, it won't kill him, I
guess. But you and me? We were supposed to be different."
"We were?"
John said. "I didn't think it was allowed."
Gordon
laughed.
"Yeah. But
you know, I was expecting to hate it. I figured I would like
the work but hate the structure but really, the structure
makes sense." He kicked a small rock out of his way with a
spray of sand. "I miss the work."
"You'll
find something else." John said. This wasn't so much
encouragement as statement of fact. His younger brother had
too much energy to stagnate.
"Yeah,"
Gordon said. "I've got to start thinking about it, though,
before Father signs me up for something without telling me."
"He
wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah?
Ask Alan. But I think Dad's got some sort of secret plan for
me."
"Like
what?"
"I don't
know. See, every time I try to say something to him like, you
know, I'm thinking about doing - whatever, anything - next
year, he gives me this lecture on the importance of my
physical therapy that I think he got out some drill sergeant's
handbook. It's like he doesn't want me to get any ideas about
what I'm supposed to do next because he's plotting something.
And you know Dad. I could wind up on some sort of horrible
corporate-guilt reducing trip to India to bathe lepers for a
year or something."
"It builds
character," John said, quoting their father's favorite reason
for making his sons do just about anything they didn't want
to.
"I've got
enough character. I've got steel rods made of character in the
base of my spine. I'm good for character."
Gordon's
vehemence startled John away from what he had been about to
say. He tried to frame his next sentence delicately. "Maybe he
wants you to concentrate on your physical therapy first so
when you do finally decide, you don't..." John hesitated, not
sure how much he was allowed to talk about Gordon's injuries.
Gordon
reached down and picked up a rock. He hefted it in his hand a
couple of times and then reared back and threw it out at the
ocean. It went wildly to the left, and fell well short of the
waves. He pulled his mouth to one side. "Yeah, I know the
routine. Don't get your hopes up."
"What are
you talking about?"
Gordon
deepened his voice, in imitation of what John supposed was a
doctor. "Well, you're a very lucky young man, Mr. Tracy.
Everyone else died, but you might be lucky enough to never
walk again. We want you to work at this really hard and
painful routine, but we don't really think it's going to do
any good. So don't get your hopes up."
"They
didn't really say that."
"Not out
loud. But it was in their voices. I know there was a while
there when they thought I wasn't ever gonna walk. I remember
that, because for a few days Dad and everyone else couldn't
look at me." Gordon shrugged. "But it's frustrating, you know?
You're trying your hardest, and everyone around you is saying
things like, 'well, you can still lead a full life.'"
"But
now...now that you're better..."
Gordon
shook his head. "I'm not better. I'm recovering. And if it was
up to them, I'd be recovering for the rest of my life and
never even get there. At some point, this stuff has got to end
and the next part needs to start. I want it to start." He
spoke bitterly, sounding more adult than John could ever
recall him sounding. "Since nobody expects me to be able to do
anything I think what I do next is pretty important."
"You want
to take their expectations and shove them down their throats."
John said.
"Pretty
much. I just need to find a way to do it."
"Well,"
John said after a minute. "If you find a way, let me know."
Chapter Five
In which John Tracy shows displeasure with his father's
control; Jefferson Tracy shows displeasure with John's lack of
same; Virgil Tracy calms at least one of them down.
"So what
have we got?" Scott asked.
Virgil
clicked through the schedule. "Mark and his band of merry men
are on time, for a change."
"Have they
done all the test scenarios?"
"That's
what this is," Virgil said, opening up another document. "At
least they followed the matrix this time."
"And?"
Virgil
looked at Scott. "It's at about eighty per cent."
"Are you
serious?"
"See for
yourself." Virgil rolled his chair over so Scott could see the
screen better.
"This
is...incredible." Scott murmured. "This is totally
unprecedented."
"We may
have to go through with it after all."
Scott
smiled, still absorbed in the test results. "What did Brains
say?"
"Something
in calculus I didn't quite catch."
"Well,"
Scott said. "I think Dad's going to tell Gracetech that we're
go."
The two
looked at each other for a minute. Virgil grinned. "This is
it! This clears the runway. We could be operational at the end
of next year."
"If we get
the other twenty percent."
Virgil
waved it away. "I can do eighty."
"Yeah,
likeDad's going to let that happen." Scott reached for the
mouse and scrolled through. "This is amazing. I'm buying Mark
a car. Think he'd like a Jaguar?"
"Drives a
Ford. And yet we still work with him. I know one thing: John
is going to flip," Virgil said. "I cannot wait until Dad tells
him."
"I wish
he'd hurry up. He's been home for a couple of days and I don't
know if I can keep this up much longer."
"I don't
think Dad will be able to either. Not with this. John is going
to love this."
Virgil and
Scott turned their heads as they heard footsteps approaching.
The door to the lounge banged open, and John emerged,
tight-lipped, followed by their father, who looked a little
angry and very frustrated.
John
didn't even glance at his brothers as he stormed past them,
out the door, and down the stairs. Virgil and Scott watched
him go. Then they turned and looked at their father, who
dropped into the chair behind his desk with a sigh and turned
to his computer screen.
Virgil
looked at Scott. "Or not."
"If you
have something to say," Jeff said dryly, without taking his
eyes from the computer screen, "I suggest you say it."
Scott
decided for the direct approach. "What happened?"
Their
father leaned back in his chair and surveyed his two oldest
sons. "Would you agree that we are working towards a greater
goal?"
Scott was
surprised, but answered honestly. "Yes."
"Would you
agree that when working towards a greater goal, personal
concerns become secondary?"
"Yes."
Scott wondered where he was going with this.
"Would you
agree that security is a primary concern of this operation?"
"Absolutely."
"Good. Now
will you go get your little brother and hammer that into his
thick skull? He's too fast for me."
Scott
grinned. "Really, Father, what happened?"
"I just
started to explain the reason I had him brought down from
Grissom Base," Jeff said. "And how I thought it was important
for family to work together."
Scott was
nodding, but Virgil's eyes had widened slightly. "Excuse me,
Father. Did you say you had John brought down from Grissom
Base?"
Scott was
taken aback. "I thought his rotation was up. That's what he
told us."
Jeff shook
his head. "They would have kept him up there for the next
seven years if it was up to them. ISA is the most ill-managed
organization ever to own a launching pad. It is ridiculous
that somebody of John's ability be sequestered in a foolhardy
experiment like that base."
"What did
you do?" Scott asked.
"I called
Jim Weber and asked him to expedite his release."
Scott let
out a low whistle. Virgil rubbed his jaw. "Oh, Father," he
murmured. "You shouldn't have done that."
"What was
that?"
Virgil
looked up. "You shouldn't have done that, Dad."
Jeff
looked annoyed. "Virgil, you know as well as I do that what we
are doing here is far more important than what John was doing
on that moon base."
"Yes, but
he doesn't know that," Virgil said impatiently.
Scott
jumped in. "He means that you probably should have talked to
John while he was on Gus before..." Scott searched for a
moment. "Intervening."
"Communications on Gus were not secure," Jeff said. "I
understand why he's upset. But once he understands the scope
of what we're doing, he'll realize why I had to do it my way."
"And you
didn't get a chance to explain before he..." Virgil trailed
off, indicating the door.
"No." Jeff
said grimly.
"Well,
it's been a long time since John's gone on the rampage," Scott
said, trying to find some levity.
"I should
have expected this." Jeff muttered, more to himself than his
sons.
Scott and
Virgil glanced at each other. Scott flicked his eyes at the
sliding glass door.
"I'm going
to go find him," Virgil said. "Make sure he isn't flying back
to Sydney or anything." He hurried out the door.
"He's
probably just down by the water," Scott said.
His father
sighed, and rubbed his eyes. "I didn't think he would react
like that. I thought he would jump at the chance to come back
down."
Considering that John had volunteered for an extended
rotation, Scott wondered how his father had arrived at that
conclusion. But this probably wasn't the best time to bring
that up.
"You know
John," he said. "He needs to look at something from a few
thousand angles before he makes up his mind."
Jeff
raised an eyebrow. "He certainly made his mind up about
joining that program quickly enough."
"No,
Father, he really didn't." Scott said. "But Virgil will find
him. He'll get him to calm down."
"Well,
maybe you're right at that." Jeff didn't sound convinced.
"Still, I would have liked to have done this differently. I
don't like having to exclude John and the younger boys from
this. I don't like you and your brother having to keep secrets
from them. It's not the way I like to operate. I told myself
that it would all work out, but maybe..." Jeff stopped, and
shook his head. "Well, what's done is done." He looked at his
watch. "I have a conference call."
Scott knew
a dismissal when he heard one. "Call me if you need me."
"Has Mark
gotten back to you yet?"
"Eighty
per cent."
"Eighty
per cent?" His father repeated, startled. "Really?"
Scott
nodded.
"Brains
has it?"
"Yes."
"All
right." Jeff nodded absently, back to staring at his computer
screen, his mind already moving to the next item on his
agenda. Scott turned around and walked outside.
Virgil was
coming up the stairs, panting a little. "I'm going to start
running again," he said.
"Good.
Find John?"
Virgil
stopped near the top step and took a couple of deep breaths.
"No."
Scott
waited for more, but Virgil just shrugged. "I can't find him."
"Don't you
think you should go and look for him? He could be..."
"He could
be what? Swimming for the mainland? He's either somewhere down
on the beach or he's sulking in the roundhouse. He'll come out
when he's calmed down."
Scott
moved over to stare at the pool. "That might be a while."
Virgil
stood next to him, and kept his voice low. "Can you blame
him?"
Scott
glanced up at the house, but the sliding glass doors were
closed. "I can't believe it. Virg, did you have any idea?"
Virgil
shook his head. "Of course not. Scott, John's never going to
let this go. My god, do you remember when Father tried to get
him to drop that soccer team at Greene because it wasn't a
school team?"
Scott
frowned. "I think I remember hearing about it, but I was in
North Dakota at that point."
"You
should have tried actually hearing it. Father came down for a
visit and just mentioned it in passing to John, just saying
basically, don't overextend yourself. John launched into this
tirade about being able to make his own decisions and being in
charge of his own life and all that. And of course, you can't
yell at Father. It was fifteen rounds in the middle of the
quad. I remember wishing the ground would swallow me up."
"And that
was a soccer team. This is his career. He worked hard to get
into that program," Scott said.
"He's
never going to come around."
Scott
sighed. "I know. But Virgil, he's got to. We need him. Now
he's not going to want to because Dad is going to make him
feel like he has to, and..." He put his hand to his forehead
and rubbed the spot between his eyes. "This really got screwed
up."
"Dad is
pretty good at making you feel obligated."
Scott
looked at him in surprise. "Do you feel like you have to do
this?"
"Sure, a
little," Virgil admitted. Then he laughed. "But then I saw the
designs for Rescue Two." He looked at Scott. "Truthfully? Of
course I felt obligated, but no more obligated than I normally
do to Father. I knew I was going to wind up working for the
company one way or another. But this made me want to. I never
dreamed it would be something like this."
Scott
nodded. "Who would?"
"Dad."
"Brains."
"Dad's
brain."
"I wish we
could tell Gordon about this," Scott said.
"I wish a
lot of things." Virgil said. "I guess we should try to find
him before Gordon does. And also - I don't want him to think
we're on Father's side on this."
"Okay."
Scott took a breath. "I want you to talk to him instead of
me."
"Why me?"
Virgil said. "You're the one he wants to be when he grows up.
If that ever happens."
"It would
be better, at this point, coming from you. And don't say
that."
They heard
a sound, and looked up to see their father standing on the
balcony.
"Did you
talk to your brother?"
"Not yet."
Virgil said, shading his eyes from the sun with his hand.
"Tell him
to come and talk to me when you find him. I have to go back to
Washington tomorrow. Scott, do you feel comfortable going to
Luton to meet with Mark, or do you want Brains to go?"
"I'll go,"
Scott said. "When?"
"Tomorrow."
"Okay."
Scott said simply. John had only been back for a few days, and
the trip to England could easily mean being gone for a week.
He had been looking forward to having some time with his
brothers, since he and Virgil were rarely on the island at the
same time, but this would shut down that plan. He knew the end
goal would pay off, in all ways. But he wished that his father
would sometimes consider things other than speed and
efficiency when planning his path from point A to point B. Not
that he liked his reaction, but he could see why John was
pissed.
"Good."
Jeff went back inside.
"Luton,
huh," Virgil said.
"The
armpit of England." Scott sighed. "I better go pull the files
while it's still quiet around here. Tell John not to jump off
whatever roof he's on."
"Hmm,"
Virgil said.
John lay
stretched on his back on the roof of the roundhouse. It had
taken him a few minutes to figure out how to get up, but he
knew that there was no way you could build a structure like
this and not have a way to get on top of it. Although, that
being said, he still couldn't fathom why his father had built
the thing in the first place. He could see the twin small
figures of his brothers standing by the pool. He knew they
wouldn't be able to see him up here, and he really wanted to
find a secluded place to sit for a while. He didn't know the
island very well, and was dimly afraid that his perception of
solitude might be the same as some sort of tropical water
moccasin's. The roof of the roundhouse was not too hot to sit
on, and offered a spectacular view of the island. John
wondered if there was a word that meant "like an island, but
much smaller." It was the land equivalent of a puddle, he
decided. A tiny green speck in a sea of blue. Highly
anonymous. Ridiculously inconvenient. He supposed he could
understand why his father liked it. There was a similar
tranquility to the part of Kansas where he spent his summers,
and the battered white house that leaned on the edge of the
sea of wheat was an island of sorts.
He took a
deep breath. Living on Grissom had its own specific drawbacks,
and one of them was lack of space. Ambiorix Concepcion, who
John replaced when he first arrived at Grissom, had given him
a piece of advice: compartmentalize. "You need to build walls,
or everyone will be inside your head." John had originally
thought that something was getting lost in the translation,
but it was true. There were usually only around forty people
on the base at one time. As with air and water, there was a
limited pool of personal information, so that was recycled as
well. There were few secrets on the base, and a mood could
spread like a virus. After a few months, John began to feel
uncomfortably transparent. He started dragging up his old
study techniques from Harvard; delving into whatever he was
doing at the expense of his surroundings. Occasionally it
occurred to him that he was structuring his brain into a
small, internal copy of the base, all tiny rooms with heavy,
airlocked doors. If it was an effective technique, it wasn't
an entirely comfortable thought.
He used it
now, trying to calm himself down. His brain was spinning in
turmoil, and that was the absolute wrong state if you wanted
to discuss something with his father. You needed to be calm,
have your facts in hand - on occasion, literally (Virgil had,
at sixteen, requested a week-long Swiss ski vacation by
himself using a Flash presentation.) � and keep emotion to a
minimum. Essentially, you had to argue on his turf. Blind rage
was not a good place to start from. He concentrated on the
feeling of the sun on his face, arms, and legs. He thought of
the view of the roundhouse from the plane, and then the view
of earth from Grissom. He had the sinking feeling his sense of
perspective hadn't yet caught up to his view.
He heard a
sound, and sat up. The trapdoor was lifting, and he watched as
Virgil's head emerged. "Ah," Virgil said when he saw John. He
flung the door open and climbed out. "Thought I might...wow.
How come I've never been up here before?"
John
watched him, not saying anything. Virgil slowly turned around,
surveying. "You get a sense...boy, we really are in the middle
of nowhere, aren't we?"
"I was
thinking the same thing myself. What are you doing up here?"
"Well,
looking for you, obviously," Virgil said, still scanning his
surroundings. "This is really something."
"You could
see me from the pool?"
"What? No.
I just figured there was a good chance you'd be here."
John was
surprised. "You did? Why?"
Virgil
glanced at him, amused. "Well, there was this thing we did a
few years ago...I forget the name of it...oh, right:
childhood."
John
frowned. "I need a new hiding place."
"You're
twenty-three years old. You're too old for hiding places."
"I'll be
twenty-four in three months and you're never too old for
hiding places."
"I don't
have any hiding places."
"What do
you call the piano?"
"A piano.
And touch�." Virgil shoved his hands in his pockets. "So..."
"I don't
want to talk about it. Really. So you can go away."
Virgil
sighed exaggeratedly. "Oh, grasshopper, if only it were that
simple." He sat down next to his brother. "Father is going to
Washington tomorrow morning, and he wants to talk to you again
before he goes."
"But..."
John took a breath. "Fine."
"And Scott
is going to Luton on Friday and will be gone for a few days."
John
looked annoyed. "What the hell is Luton?"
"A sad
little city a little north of London."
"What's he
doing there?"
"Working.
There's a project he's doing for Father."
John
looked out over the Pacific for a minute. "He's turning into
Father."
Virgil
nodded gently. "He works hard. They both do. They've got a lot
to do."
"I know,"
John said. "I'm used to it."
Virgil
smiled lightly. "You're not really in a position to talk,
considering that you've been on the moon for a year."
"I said I
didn't care," John said testily.
"No, you
said you were used to it. But okay."
Neither
said anything for a while. John stared out over the ocean and
eventually closed his eyes.
"Are you
falling asleep?" Virgil asked.
John shook
his head. "No." He kept his eyes closed. "It's just a little
overwhelming."
"What?"
"This." He
waved his hand, taking in the sun bouncing silver spears off
the turquoise ocean, the glossy dark green leaves of the trees
below them, the rustling sound as the wind stirred their
branches, the harsh cries of the birds in the foliage. "I've
been living in beige for a year. It feels like I broke through
the screen and suddenly I'm in the movie. It's all too real to
be real." He opened his eyes. "I still can't get over the
sky."
Virgil
glanced up. "It's Hopperish today." He looked back at his
brother. "Do you want to go back?"
"No." John
said. "Wait. Back where?"
"To Gus.
To the base."
"Oh." John
took a breath. "I don't know. Maybe. I...I don't know. See..."
He stopped. "I wanted to talk this over with Dad, and now
everything is all screwed up."
Virgil
waited. John shook his head. "Forget it."
"Suit
yourself."
John slid
his eyes to him. "Do you know about this? About what Dad did?"
Virgil
deliberated for a minute. John was always fiercely protective
of his own privacy. But on the other hand, Virgil was a bad
liar, even when the root of it was sympathetic. "Father let it
slip."
John's
shoulders dropped. "Oh." He rubbed his face with his hands for
a moment. "So you can see how things are a bit more
complicated." He seemed to be trying to keep something in
check.
"Sure,"
Virgil said. John looked at him sharply, but Virgil kept his
expression carefully neutral, and waited.
"You know,
the whole reason I even joined ISA in the first place was so I
wouldn't have to deal with stuff like this." John jumped up.
"I mean, I figured I was doing the smart thing, because on the
one hand, I'm a freaking astronaut, which should make him
happy, but on the other hand, I'm not in NASA so he can't...so
he wouldn't..." he stopped, frustrated. "He's not supposed to
be involved in this."
"Did you
really join that program to make Father happy?" Virgil asked.
"What?
No." John looked irritated. "I mean, no more than Scott did by
joining the Air Force."
"Scott
joined the Air Force because commercial airlines won't let you
do victory rolls. It had nothing to do with Father."
"Right."
John said. "If Scott wants to believe that, I'm okay with it."
He saw Virgil opening his mouth to protest, and ran him over.
"Look, I'm not saying that Scott or any of us were forced in
to anything. But don't sit there and tell me there wasn't a
lot pressure within this family to follow some pretty specific
paths."
"No, I
don't think..."
"You're
really going to sit there and tell me with a straight face
there was no pressure, Yuri?"
Virgil
laughed. "Okay, okay. Calm down."
John
laughed, more at himself than anything. "Yeah, okay. And I
know what you mean � Father didn't say anything when Gordon
told him he was joining WASP. Maybe there's pressure, and
maybe it's just in our blood - but it's a pretty useless
question. I don't have any regrets about what I do for a
living, if that's what you mean."
"I've
always wondered that," Virgil said. "No offense. But I always
thought you were going to go into astronomy."
John sat
back down. "Well, everyone thought you were going to
Julliard."
"Nobody
thought I was going to Julliard," Virgil said. "Including
Julliard."
"Okay, but
you could gone more in that direction. Art and whatnot."
Virgil
smiled. "Don't say it like it's a virus. Yeah, I could have. I
thought about it. I would have had to have thrown everything
into it. And at the end of the day, all you've got is music,
or a painting. It's all for itself, in a way." He paused, eyes
unfocused, and then shook his head. "Anyway," he said briskly.
"It didn't seem like enough."
"Yeah.. I
love astronomy, for pretty much the same reasons as I did when
I was eight and looked through a telescope for the first time
� there's just this whole 'that's really cool' factor that's
never left me. But the bulk of the job would be teaching, and
I'd rather eat nails than teach. I can do all that when I'm
older, if I want to, but for now...it doesn't seem like enough
of an accomplishment."
"Okay, but
now you've got the accomplishment. So you don't really have to
go back," Virgil said.
"I don't
have to do anything," John said. "And I see what you're
saying, but � it would be strange to have spent so much time
there and never see it again. I wish you could see it. That
all of you could see it. It's not like any place you've ever
seen, and the pictures don't really do it justice. It's so..."
he stopped. "Everything is this dull gray blue color. And you
stare out the window day after day, and keep expecting that
eventually, you'll see something, some bit of red or yellow -
anything. But it never comes. It's as if color itself got
starved off the surface. The minute you look at it, you know
that this is not where you belong �you can almost feel it on a
cellular level. Like our cells remember something we've
forgotten. And you get the sense that, you know, we can be
there or not, but it won't make a difference. We can scratch
around and build whatever we want, but we'll never really
disturb it. It's been battered by things way bigger than you
or me, and it's colder and harder than all of them. But
despite that - or maybe because of it - it's beautiful. It's
amazingly beautiful."
"You sound
like you miss it," Virgil said, surprised.
"I don't,"
John said quickly. "But I'll never forget it, if I don't go
back. It's sort of humbling. I know Dad's been in space and
we've been in manned low-orbit satellites for however many
years, but until you actually stand on the surface of
something and look down at the Earth...it's vertigo writ
large. Really large."
"I'll take
your word for it. You couldn't pay me to see it first hand."
John
looked at him in surprise. "Really?"
"Really.
You make it sound very interesting, Johnny, and I like the
pictures you brought, but hell would freeze over before I go
walking on the moon."
"Well, not
as if I'm in a position to offer you a ride, but why?"
Virgil
shook his head. "I don't know. I don't know if I could even
say. It feels wrong to me."
"Really?"
This was interesting.
"Yeah."
"Care to
elaborate?"
Virgil
took a breath. "I like it on this planet. I evolved here. It
feels like home. It's a visceral thing, like you said."
"Hm." John
said. "Well. I guess that makes a certain amount of sense." He
looked sidelong at Virgil. "Pussy."
Virgil
laughed. "I was waiting for that. Also, I don't know about
international collaborative technology. Your vidphone was
horrible."
"Don't get
me started. We had to use that one, though."
"Yeah.
That's my point. Something that's built by sixteen governments
which barely get along at the best of times doesn't make me
confident."
John
looked at him, smiling slightly. "You really think that France
is going to send bad equipment because Germany screwed them on
farm subsidies or something?"
Virgil
rolled his eyes. "No. I just think that I'd rather you be in a
place where one crack in a window doesn't mean instant death."
John
grinned at him. "Aw, Virgil."
"Oh, for
crying..."
"I'm
touched."
"Shut up."
Rather
surprisingly, John did. He got up and walked to the edge of
the roof and looked down. "Do you think that's why, then?"
Virgil
leaned forward. "I didn't catch that, Johnny."
John
turned around. "I said, do you think that's why? Do you think
that's why Dad pulled me off the station?"
Virgil
shook his head.
"Do you
know why he did?"
Virgil
nodded.
"Why?"
Underneath the anger, Virgil could hear the echo of his
brother as a boy.
"You need
to talk to Father about it," Virgil said. He thought that John
was going to start shouting, but he only looked defeated.
"I thought
you would say that," he said. "I know what it is. He wants me
to come and work at the company." Virgil thought he looked
very tired. "Right?"
"Something
like that."
"Don't
worry, I'm not going to report you," John said dryly. "I know
he doesn't brook any dissention in the ranks and now that
you're an employee � by the way, did he ask you, or just lasso
you from your old job?"
Virgil
paused a moment before answering. "He asked."
"Yeah, I
thought he might. Well, you were set from the start - you at
least have the right educational background. Honestly, when I
was at school, there was a part of me that figured I should
major in comparative literature, or psychology - some field
where nobody's ever heard of him, and the name doesn't mean
anything. I mean, not seriously, but..." He looked at Virgil
plaintively. "And this is enough for you? The whole time I was
training, I was working harder than anyone, because I never
wanted to hear anyone ever say that I was the zero son of the
great man who had to get through the program or Grissom
doesn't get its doors or something..."
"Whoa,
whoa." Virgil jumped up. "Hang on a sec. Father would never -
"
"How would
you know? It's not like you had to interview for your job. And
anyway, do you think the higher-ups at ISA care? Hell, Virgil,
for all I know, I was accepted into the program because of who
Dad is."
Virgil was
surprised by this. "Do you really think so?"
John
smiled ruefully. "We'll never know. I don't have such great
clearance. But nobody I actually worked with - you know, the
actual staff on the base - seemed to make any connection. That
is, until a week ago." He smiled again, pained. "You'd think
since he built most of the damn thing, it would meet with his
approval."
"You have
to talk to Father. You're way off base on this."
John
turned away and shrugged. "Whatever you say."
Chapter Six
In which Jefferson Tracy shows his son the secret of Tracy
Island.
Virgil was
tactful enough to say that he would stay on the roof of the
roundhouse for a little longer, while John clambered down to
make his way back to the house to find his father. As he
walked along the overgrown path, he wondered where the
connecting passage between the two houses was. And just what
the structure was for. John was beginning to wonder if his
father was up to something he hadn't told them all about yet.
He slid
aside the door to the main house and stepped into the dim
corridor. This house had a lot of corridors, he had noticed.
Just like Grissom Base. He wondered what subtle trick of
design made a person feel agreeably burrowed in in one, and
feel trapped in a maze in the other.
He checked
the lounge. Nothing. He took a left down another corridor to
try to find that lab Scott had referred to, but took a wrong
turn and found himself in the hall where his bedroom was. He
turned the corner at the end of that hall and wound up walking
into a large, if somewhat austere, bedroom. His father was
standing in front of a cherrywood bookcase, and looked up as
he walked in.
"Oh.
Sorry," John said. "I didn't know..." He paused, and looked
around. "I didn't know this was your room."
"Come on
in. I was just trying to find something to read."
John
walked into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. He
watched as his father scanned the shelves. "Virgil said you
were going to Washington tomorrow."
"I am,"
his father said. "I'm sorry it has to cut into your visit.
I'll be back as soon as I can, but I'm afraid the trip itself
can't be avoided."
"That's
all right," John said. "I don't expect you to rearrange your
schedule for me."
His father
glanced over at him. "I suppose you don't. Which might be a
problem in and of itself." He picked a book off the shelf and
scanned the back cover. "Tell me, did you read those books I
sent you?"
"Of
course." His father had sent him a two-volume biography of
Alexander Hamilton and an extensively annotated copy of his
letters. John could have used all three for free weights.
Force-feeding them books was a habit of their father's from an
early age.
"We should
try to get a chance to talk about them." Jeff said.
"That
would be nice."
His father
looked at him, sitting politely on the edge of the bed. It was
always a bit harder with John. There wasn't much of the
meeting of the minds that he had with Scott, or the shared
interests that he had with Virgil; and John had none of Gordon
and Alan's easy affability. He was prouder of his son than he
ever could say, and had missed him terribly while he was gone.
But his relationship with John had always been tinged with an
odd formality. John had a rigid focus that often reminded Jeff
of his own father, and it was a little disconcerting to see
the personality trait responsible for some of the larger
arguments in his own childhood displayed by his son.
His father
put the book back on the shelf. "I realize I should have told
you why I brought you down from Grissom Base. I want you to
understand that there was no way I could have explained to you
while you were still there, and if there was any other way, I
would not have done it. I know you're angry."
"I'm not."
John said.
"You are,
but I appreciate you putting it aside for the moment. And it's
important that you understand why I did what I did."
John
nodded, expressionless.
Why was
traversing physical distances seen as such an accomplishment,
Jeff Tracy wondered, when three feet could seem like light
years. He took a breath.
"It will
be easier if I just show you."
John
followed his father out of his bedroom, down the hall and into
the lounge.
"I don't
know if you've been following some of the developments of the
company in the past few years," Jeff said, as they turned off
the lounge and went down a hallway John hadn't had a chance to
explore yet.
"Um...sort
of," John said. "Actually, no. I haven't."
His father
chuckled. "That's all right. Your attention has been
legitimately diverted. However, if you had, you would have
noticed that we've been making some great strides in high
speed, fuel-efficient aircraft." Jeff stopped, and opened a
door, revealing a flight of stairs. He started down, and John
followed, intrigued.
"Scott
mentioned something about it, I think. Some new prototypes,"
John said.
"Yes.
There are some things that Scott, Brains, Virgil and I have
been working on outside of the company."
"Outside
of the company? How?"
"For
years, I've been directing the research and development of the
company and its subs towards one goal. And in the past eight
years, we've made breakthroughs that even I never thought were
possible."
John
paused on the bottom step. "What goal?" Jeff began striding
down the narrow, dimly-lit hallway that stretched before them.
"Do you
know why it was so easy for me to leave NASA?" Jeff asked.
"I
thought...you know, because of Mom..."
"Well,
yes. My responsibility was to you boys. But I could have
removed myself out of the space flight program and into
something else that required less time away and still remained
within the program."
John
hadn't known this. "So then why?"
"Because I
sat down and asked myself, what is the point of the space
program?"
John
paused for a half a step. "I just had this conversation with
Nancy. I've been having it with myself, too. What did you come
up with?"
"That
shift of the focus from discovery and exploration by unmanned
craft to manned craft was essentially a thinly disguised
attempt to add an extra trillion or two to the Pentagon's
budget."
John let
out a breath. "Do you think that's true of ISA?"
"It
depends."
"On what?"
"Intent.
Aside from actual weapons development, most technologically is
morally neutral. A bomber can drop food. The collaborative
nature of ISA is remarkable, if it is exactly what it purports
to be. I don't know if it is or not. I don't have any reason
to doubt it at the moment, but the program is, relatively
speaking, young."
"I guess
if you thought they were evil, you wouldn't have taken the
contract."
Jeff
laughed. "I appreciate your faith in my integrity."
"Well, if
it's why you quit NASA..." John said. "Is that really why you
left?"
"Yes. And
it affected how I wanted the company to be structured. All of
the best technological advancements were occurring under the
aegis of the military," Jeff explained. "And if they weren't,
they were all appropriated by the military. The balance was
off. The balance is still off, but I decided that I would
begin working to expand technologies that wouldn't be used by
the military. Wouldn't be used to exploit the environment.
Would, if possible, fix some of the problems that I saw
happening around the world."
John
raised his eyebrows. His father glanced at him and he quickly
shifted his expression back to neutral.
"Of
course, this was always the idea in the back of my mind - I
would do it if I could. There's a practical side to Tracy
Industries as well. But once the corporation really became
solidified, I was able to guide the R&D back to my original
goal."
"Which was
what?"
"Did you
read about the earthquake in Eritrea?"
"Yeah,"
John said. "A few months ago."
"What
happened?"
"I don't
know. There was an earthquake. I didn't really pay much
attention."
"Eritrea
is a desperately poor country with an extremely limited
infrastructure. When the earthquake struck, their lines of
communications were cut. What limited rescue resources they
had were woefully inadequate to the task. The western states
were slow in sending first responders � I don't need to tell
you why - and thousands of people died. Three thousand and
twelve, to be exact."
John
nodded. This happened all the time.
"Did you
read about what happened in Georgia in August?"
John shook
his head.
"The
flood?"
Feeling
chagrined, John shook his head again.
"A
tropical storm stalled over Georgia, giving them the worst
flooding in the history of the state. Five rivers burst their
banks. They declared a state of emergency, but they had a bad
hurricane season and had already gone over their FEMA limit,
and since most of the rescue groups in the south are
privatized, they won't mobilize unless the money is
guaranteed."
"I know
that," John said. "What happened?"
"Sixty-five people drowned. Every year, it gets worse," Jeff
said. "The best equipment is simply beyond the price range of
most city and state governments. The programs get cut. People
die. And that's in industrialized countries - that's in the
country that's supposed to be the number one economic force in
the world. In Africa, Latin America, the mideast - some places
they don't have anything. And there are limits to where the
RCRC will go." Jeff shook his head. "It used to be that
governments believed they had a social contract with their
people to protect them, and in return the people would consent
to be governed. That contract is eroding faster than I ever
would have imagined. It's a betrayal of our own humanity. Do
you agree?"
"Sure,"
John said. He was growing more confused with every step he
took. He didn't dare stop to question now.
Jeff
stopped. They were standing in front of a metal door. Jeff put
his hand on a plate, and the door slid open in a swirl of
cool, damp air. Jeff motioned for his son to precede him.
Hesitating
slightly, John stepped inside. He was standing in a corridor,
lit by light bulbs encased in small metal cages hung
intermittently along a long cable. He stared ahead of him
confusedly, and started when his father placed a hand on his
shoulder.
"Go
ahead."
John
stepped forward into the corridor. They walking on a metal
grating. John reached out and touched the wall - it was rough
rock, cool and slightly damp. He realized they were inside the
mountain.
They had
reached the end of the walkway, and were standing in front of
a narrow metal door. John smiled. "This has got to be one hell
of a plane."
Jeff
turned to his son. "I need to extract a promise from you. What
you are about to see is the result of ten years of top secret
research. No matter what you decide, I need your word that you
will never, absolutely never, disclose what you are about to
see to anyone."
John
regarded his father warily. "You want me to give you my word
that I won't tell anyone what's behind this here door?"
"Yes."
John
looked at his father with suspicion mixed with the tiniest bit
of apprehension. Still, there wasn't any way to say no. "All
right. You have it."
His father
punched a code on a keypad next to the door, and the door slid
open.
It took a
moment, his eyes warring with his brain, fact against reason.
His eyes took in the massive dark shape in front of him and
his brain dismissed it as a shadow and then a support pillar
until his gaze traveled higher and higher still. He tipped his
head so far back, following it up into darkness that he lost
his balance and staggered back, and then backed up more,
trying to fit it into his view. It couldn't be. The dull light
in the room glinted off dark red metal, and the room was
filled with the heavy, acrid smell of oil and baked stone.
Behind
him, his father hit a button. "Scott, Virgil, come down to the
silo."
John spun
around. "This isn't an airplane."
His father
smiled. "No, John, it's definitely not an airplane."
John
stared back up at the shape that towered above them.
Everything in his brain was screaming that this was a complete
impossibility, even as the undeniable massive presence above
him forced him to acquiesce. It hung above him, looming like
building. "Please tell me that this isn't a missile," he
whispered.
The shock
on his father's face reassured him before his father hastened
out a negative.
"This is
no payload to this. This is strictly transport."
John
stared back up at it. The machine glowed a dull red in the dim
light. His father continued.
"This,
John, is a Saturn-type rocket capable of reentry and relaunch.
It has three chemical rockets used for launch, landing,
emergency boost and orbit change, and three ion-drive particle
accelerators used in deep space. It's more powerful that the
current rockets being used by NASA - and, incidentally, ISA -
at the moment, and safer and more versatile than the current
shuttle."
Scott and
Virgil came into the room, looking sober but happy. John
stared at them for a moment, and then turned back to this
father.
"This is a
rocket."
"Yes."
"This is a
space ship?" His voice climbed an octave, and he had to clear
his throat.
"Yes."
John
stared in wonder at the machine in front of him. "I've never
seen anything like it. I don't understand. How can you have
ion-drive particle accelerators? That's theoretical
technology."
"Not
anymore."
John's
eyes grew very wide. "NASA has been developing something along
these lines, but it's all stil on paper." His voice was
veering between excitement and hysteria. "If what you're
saying is true...wait a minute." He stopped and wheeled
around. "Transport to where?"
"To a
currently unmanned low-orbit satellite."
John
opened his mouth to say something, but nothing coherent came
to mind.
"The
satellite is a communications monitoring satellite," his
father continued. "It has the ability - or it will when the
equipment is installed - to capture and process all
communications - radio, cell phone, and � well, let's focus on
those two - from pretty much anywhere on earth."
John
raised his eyebrows briefly, impressed despite himself.
"Seriously?"
"Seriously," Jeff said dryly.
John
looked down for a moment, thinking. "Who is capturing all this
information?"
"I am. Or,
I will be. We will be."
"The
company is..."
"Not the
company. Us."
"You?"
"Yes."
"You have
a satellite. Personally."
"Yes."
John shook
his head. "No."
"No?"
"You don't
have a satellite, Dad. I'm sorry, but individuals are not
allowed to put satellites into space. And there are federal
laws against monitoring cell phone transmissions. What you're
talking about is completely illegal."
"I'm not
interested in eavesdropping..." Jeff said impatiently.
"I'm sure
that will reassure the CIA, the FBI, and the millions of
private citizens who..."
"There is
a larger purpose here," Jeff cut him off sharply.
"Yeah,
that's what's so alarming," John shot back. "Every violation
of civil liberties begins with..."
"All
right, all right," Scott cut in. "We are way off track here."
He looked at his younger brother. "Just hold up for a second,
Thomas Jefferson." He turned to face his father. "I think you
need to back up and explain the whole thing. Maybe a little
more slowly." He pointed a warning finger at John. "And you
need to listen."
Chapter Seven
In which John Tracy tries to process the scope of the project,
with limited success.
An hour
later, the four men were seated out on the balcony overlooking
the pool. John hadn't said anything since they emerged from
the silo, and Scott kept glancing at him worriedly every so
often. John was staring out over the ocean with the look of
someone who was listening intently to something far away.
"Gordon
doesn't know." John broke the silence. It wasn't a question.
"Gordon
has been concentrating on his rehabilitation," Jeff said.
"That's where I want him focusing at the moment. Also, I
wanted to tell you before I brought Gordon and Alan in on it."
"Why?"
John asked.
"I've
included you boys as I need you. I could have used you a year
ago, John, but you made the decision to take that position on
Grissom Base and I didn't want to interfere. Scott and Virgil
have been assisting me in this for the past three years. But
I've been working on this, in one way or another, since before
Scott started high school."
"We didn't
know the scope of the whole operation," Virgil said. "Well, I
didn't. Scott did. I thought I was just working on
experimental aircraft. Really big experimental aircraft."
"So that's
why you resigned your commission," John said to Scott, who
nodded, and then smiled.
"Got a
better offer."
John just
nodded, and went back to staring out at the ocean.
"So
there's no staff," he said abruptly. "It's just..."
"Just us,"
Scott said cheerfully.
"Are you
trained for this?" John asked.
"What we
don't already know we're learning."
John
nodded again. Virgil thought that John was displaying all the
symptoms of someone whose brain had recently melted. He didn't
blame him, though. His father had explained the whole process
to him a little better than he had to John. On the other hand,
Virgil thought, he hadn't automatically assumed the whole
operation had a malevolent side. Sometimes Virgil really
wondered about his brother.
"Well,
John," Jeff said. "What do you think?"
John took
a breath. "I think..." he stopped. "I think..." He looked from
his brothers to his father. "I think you are all out of your
minds." He laughed unhappily. "I don't understand how you
think you can do this. You can't do this."
Scott
started to interrupt, but Jeff put a hand on his arm. "Go
ahead, John."
"I don't
know where to start," John said. "Barring the fact that
monitoring or capturing communications is illegal in this
country - god knows what international laws you'd be breaking
- barring that. And barring the fact that the minute you
launch a rocket from this island there are going to be a few
people who are going to object to you personally owning such
technology..."
"Like
who?" Virgil asked.
John
looked at his brother. "I don't know, Virg - NATO? The EU?
Hell, Fiji's probably going to think you're going to take them
down. One launch and suddenly Dad's the head of the smallest
rogue state on the State Department's list."
His
father's mouth twitched. "You can rest assured nobody will
think they're being invaded."
John was
stung by the idea that his father was laughing at him. "And
you're going to have Scott and Virgil flying prototypes..."
"They're
not prototypes anymore." Virgil said mildly. "I take your
point, John, but we've been testing them for over a year now."
John
turned to his brothers. "You don't think you're going to get
shot down?"
"We're not
invading countries," Virgil said.
"Which I'm
sure they'll find out when they pick apart the smoking
wreckage of that giant flying tick or whatever! Nobody is
going to accept this. I am the world, and I say no."
"Why?"
Virgil demanded.
"Because
it doesn't exist here!" He turned to his father, who was
watching him with an impassive expression on his face.
"Father, even if it's for a good cause, how are they going to
know that if you don't tell them who you are? You want to be
anonymous and independent. But anonymous and independent
scares the crap out of people."
Virgil
jumped in. "You know, Margaret Meade said 'Never doubt that a
group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world.
Because it's the only thing that ever has.'"
"I don't
doubt that," John said. "I'm just saying they don't always
change it for the better."
Virgil
looked like he was ready to retort, but Scott put up a hand.
"John, I
know this is a lot to process, but think for minute. Think
about what it means. Real people, real problems, real
solutions. It's concrete. And it is, for lack of a better
word, good. You know when you were saying that ISA had all
this technology and it was supposed to make the world better?
Well, I'm not saying we're going to make the world better, but
we can save some lives. There's no wrong in it."
"I
just...I just don't get it. If you want to save people or
whatever, there are like eight billion charities that provide
relief. Medicine Sans Frontiers, the IRCRC, Oxfam..."
Jeff shook
his head. "No. Those are relief organizations. They are after
the fact. We are during. We are immediate. We are who you call
while it's happening."
"How?"
John asked. "What are we, nine one two?"
"Any radio
signal," Jeff Tracy said. "Any phone call. Any transmission in
any language that goes into the ether will be picked up by our
satellite, run through filters and then analyzed by our space
monitor to determine the authenticity, severity, and
feasibility of the call."
"I don't
see how that's possible."
"There are
more things between my satellite and this island, John, than
are dreamt of in your philosophies," Jeff said. "Brains
designed the programs."
"Brains..." John muttered. "I haven't even gotten to him yet."
"There is
one thing we haven't discussed yet." Jeff continued.
"What's
that?"
"Where you
come in."
"Where I
come in?" John repeated. "I come in? I come in?"
"Of
course," his father said. "You're an integral part of my plan.
All of you boys have a part to play."
"I don't
know how to..." John began, and then stopped. "What part?"
"I want
you on the satellite."
"You said
it was an unmanned satellite."
"It is.
It's waiting for you."
John
stared at his father in astonishment. Smiling, his father
continued. "The telescope isn't as good as ISA's, but it's
pretty good in its own right. Brains has designed a few
systems with astronomy in mind; I think you'll be pleased. The
bulk of the work, naturally, is keeping track of the
communications information that the computer will be analyzing.
You'll also be the group's first point of contact. Your
computer ability and your facility with languages make you
ideally suited for this job."
Since John
wasn't saying anything, his father went on. "Naturally, we'll
be using you for rescues as well. Everyone will be used for
rescues as they are needed, so when you're not in the station,
you'll be expected to fill your responsibility as a backup
member of the team. You'll be swapping off rotations with
Alan, but at first, I'd prefer to gradually ease Alan into
satellite rotation, and let you do bulk of the satellite duty.
You're used to the conditions, and I'm more comfortable having
you troubleshoot the systems than I am Alan. Of course, the
first thing we'll need to do is get you trained on the rocket
- Rescue Three. After we're done here, I'll take you down to
the lab to talk to Brains, and we can start you on a
schedule."
"Wait."
John put his hand up. "Just...wait a second." It was all too
much. "I � I'm...this is the job you brought me down for? You
took away my career at ISA for this completely insane
proposition?"
"It's not
insane," Virgil said calmly. "I know how you feel, but it's
not."
"Virgil..." Jeff Tracy threw his son a quieting glance.
"I'm not
even sure this entire thing exists and you want me to quit my
job and live in the middle of nowhere...or the middle of
space..." John put his hand on his forehead.
"John, you
haven't been so far away that you can't see what's happening,
can you? Governments are abandoning the people they're
supposed to provide for. Walls are being built, not torn down.
Everyone is hemmed in by politics and ambition. But we can do
this; we can go over walls; we can be outside of politics."
Jeff Tracy leaned forward, intent on his point. "We can be
something the world has never seen before. It won't just be
what we do. It will be what we represent, as well."
"Dad, I
know what you're trying to do, but you can't just force the
world to believe what you believe - or believe in you just
because you say so. The world doesn't work that way."
Jeff Tracy
sat back, and John saw a flicker of disappointment in his
eyes.
"Son,
we're not going to be dropping in on people out of thin air.
We're going to get the information out there that we exist
before we start full-scale operations. This has been in
planning for a very long time, and while I understand your
objections, don't think you're the first one to think of them.
I want you to take some time and think it over. There's a role
in this for you, if you want it. If you don't, that's within
your rights."
He rose.
"All of the plans for the rocket and the satellite are in
Brains' lab. You can talk to him about them if you have any
questions about specifics. I suggest you take a look at them.
I think you'll find that idealistic and realistic are not the
opposites you think they are."
He rose
from the balcony, and went into the house.
Chapter Eight
In which John Tracy begins to appreciate some genius; an
engaging charter pilot brings apples; two planes go out, and
one comes back.
Scott
stood up and leaned against the railing. John slid down a
little in his chair. Virgil was tapping his fingers on his
knee, eyes down.
"You know
what your problem is, John?" Virgil began. He barely got half
the sentence out before John came roaring back the other way.
"If you
think I'm going to sit here and listen to you..."
"Not now,"
Scott said. His tired tone made both of his brothers stop and
look at him, surprised. "We're not doing this right now.
Virgil, cut it out. John, go away."
"What do
you mean, go away?"
Scott
waved his hand. "Go away. Beat it. Scram. I don't want to
listen to you argue, and it's obvious that you're not going to
be able to not argue, so take it somewhere else. Same for you,
Virgil."
"What are
you going to do?" John said, feeling like he was about nine.
Scott
stood up. "I've got to get ready to go to Luton and I don't
need two hornet-mad brothers buzzing around me while I'm
getting organized." He stuck his hands in his back pockets and
gave John an unexpectedly warm smile. "Try to resist the urge
to call the guys in white coats while I'm gone, okay?"
"What did
you think when he told you?" John asked.
"That he
was off his rocker. It took me a while. But you know Dad. He
has a way of making the impossible seem possible."
"That's
not the same as it actually being possible."
"Yes,"
Scott agreed. "And for that, we have Brains."
John just
shook his head. "I just don't..."
"I know
you don't," Scott said. "Go and do it somewhere else."
John could
appreciate that. He pulled the door aside and walked,
muttering to himself, out into the lounge. Virgil reached over
and shut the door behind him.
"Can we
talk about him a little?" Virgil asked.
Scott
shook his head. "He's not completely wrong, Virgil. What he's
saying isn't out of character for the rest of the world."
"I know,"
Virgil said. "But that's not the point. We're not supposed to
be the rest of the world. We're supposed to be better." He saw
Scott's surprised expression and smiled. "Not now. I mean when
this thing gets off the ground. And anyway, I'm not saying we
are better. I'm just saying we're supposed to be."
Scott
sighed, and turned around to look out at the ocean. "I guess
it's like what Dad always said about privilege."
Virgil
lowered his voice into a gruff imitation of their father.
"Privilege requires greater sacrifice because it isn't
earned?" He switched to his normal voice. "Yeah. You know
what's stranger? That all those platitudes Dad shoved at us
when we were growing up actually formed into a coherent
philosophy."
"I wasn't
expecting that either," Scott admitted. "If this rescue thing
doesn't pan out, maybe he should open his own church."
John stood
on the top of the stairs, listening to the sounds of the
island. The gentle slap of the water in the pool against the
filter. Below him, the slow, impersonal beat of the ocean
against the shore.
He
wondered how he could have been so na�ve, never to question.
His father moved to an island in the middle of nowhere because
he wanted to relax? What could be the reason, if not because
of the total secrecy it afforded?
But even
John hadn't believed it. It was just another property his
father had bought; besides, he was too familiar with his
father's peripatetic lifestyle to believe he'd ever really
settle down here. No, it would look like to everyone else what
it had looked like to John: a successful business man buying
that most priceless commodity: privacy. It was genius.
Except for
the rest of it.
He started
down the stairs. It was ridiculous. He was the one who had
been living in half-isolation for a year; he was the one who
was supposed to come back crazy. Not everyone else. He had
been living in a place that was the opposite of normal; a
completely artificial environment. He wanted to come back to
normalcy; to traffic noise, to bad top-40 radio and people
without advanced degrees.
He had
pictured coming home and having it actually feel like home.
Late nights, listening to his brothers talk: they were all
accomplished storytellers, especially Scott and Gordon. He
wanted to hear Virgil play the piano and hear Alan's rants on
how incredibly astronomically fabu his NASA training was. He
had wanted to talk to his father about what he should do at
ISA, if he should move to the private sector, or go back to
school and get his Ph.D. He had pictured taking a little
vacation on this private island paradise; sunning on the
beach, drinking drinks with umbrellas.
But it was
all a lie. The mountain hid a rocket and two airplanes that
the DOD would probably kill to get their hands on. It wasn't
paradise, it was camouflage.
And his
father wanted him as an accomplice.
He
couldn't quite admit to himself that the idea was somewhat
enticing. He wouldn't want to pull another straight year
there, but there was something about being in space, the
feeling of being between the commonplace and the unfathomable
- not to mention having a mini-observatory of his own. If this
Brains character could build a freaking rocket, he could
probably manage a decent telescope. John could finally show
the world "unqualified."
But he
couldn't. You couldn't just toss a satellite into orbit; you
couldn't just invade airspace in the name of some nebulous
good.
The sound
of an engine startled him, and he looked up to see a small
yellow plane winging in a circle overhead. As it passed over
the house it waggled its wings, and, out of an unshakable
habit that he and all his brothers developed when they were
small, he waved vigorously to the plane as it passed overhead.
He saw that it was headed for the runway, and he trotted down
the rest of the stairs and onto the tarmac.
He stood
on the edge of the runway under the palm trees as the tiny
plane landed with a few bumps - it was pretty windy - and
taxied to a stop. After a minute, the door opened and Nancy
stuck her head out. "Hey, it's the prodigal son!"
"Unsacrificed,"
John called, coming forward. "What are you doing here?"
"Bringing
the mail," Nancy said. She opened the door and flung a small
canvas bag at John, missing him by a few inches. John dodged
out of the way just in time.
"Hey, you
almost killed me!"
"And here
I thought you were the smart one," Nancy laughed. "Don't you
have enough sense to get out of the way?"
She
disappeared back into the plane. John picked up the bag. "What
do you...hey!" He jumped back as another bag came flying out
the door. "Okay, you were aiming for me that time," John said.
"Oh, what,
a big strong boy like you scared by a wee little girl like
me?" Nancy said, appearing back in the doorway.
"Are you
finished?" John asked.
"I am."
John
picked up the second bag. It was heavier than the first, and
felt lumpy. "What's in this?"
"Apples
for your father. Julie's idea. Don't worry, they're wrapped
up." She folded her arms and leaned against the doorway. "And
how is island life treating you?"
"Unfairly,
but the rest of the planet has been pretty spectacular," John
said. "I don't know if you're aware of the tremendous amount
of water here, but it's mostly behind you and really nice to
swim in. Plus, you've got an atmosphere, which I've never
really given enough credit to."
"Yes,
Earth's a lovely little place once you get acclimated," Nancy
said with a smile. "And are you enjoying being home?"
John
thought for a moment. "Yes, but it's been unexpectedly
complicated."
"All life
is unexpectedly complicated," Nancy said. "That's what makes
it interesting."
"I guess
so. I miss civilization," John said. "But it's nice to see
everyone again."
"I'm sure
civilization misses you, too. Crash any cars yet?"
"There
aren't any cars to crash." Of course, he could always
crash a giant rocket into the Sydney Opera house. That would
probably impress her. "But I'll see what I can do when I get
back to Florida."
Nancy
smiled. "Good. Tell the tall one I made it in seventy five."
"Seventy
five what?"
"Minutes.
Also, remind him that I am more pilot than he could ever hope
to be."
John
laughed. "Okay."
"Don't
forget. He needs constant reminding, that one does. Give my
regards to your father."
"Will do."
John swung the mailbag and the bag of apples over his
shoulder. "Have a safe trip back."
"I will,"
Nancy said. "See you around." She waved and shut the door.
John watched as the plane taxied down the runway and then
lifted into the sky. He turned and headed towards the stairs.
He could see Gordon making his way down.
"Where've
you been?" Gordon asked, when they met halfway.
"Picking
apples." John thrust one of the bags at his brother.
"Before
that."
"Talking
to Father."
"Where?"
Gordon looked annoyed. "I was looking for everyone and
everyone was gone."
John
opened his mouth to try to think of what to say. He hadn't
prepared himself to lie to his brother.
"Well..."
he started to say, but Gordon was frowning.
"Shh."
Gordon said, putting his hand out to quiet John. "What is
that?"
John
listened for a moment, and then spun around.
Later,
John had thought it was funny that the sound was exactly like
it was in old World War II movies, when somebody shoots down a
Hurricane or a Messerschmitt. That same sound, the speed of
the fall pitching the engine sound higher and higher.
"Where is
it?" Gordon whispered. "Is it Nancy?"
John was
scanning the sky with his hand shading his eyes. He pointed.
Between the blue of the sky and the blue of the ocean was a
small shape, slowly morphing into wings, angle strange and
awkward, aiming for the wrong horizon. John's eyes widened.
"We've got
to..." he turned and began running up the stairs to the house,
taking them two at a time. He could hear Gordon behind him.
"Dad!"
Gordon shouted.
Virgil
appeared, running down the stairs. "Get up here, there's..."
He stopped, seeing their faces and realized they knew.
"Scott's getting the jet out." He looked up and his expression
blanched. John turned around just in time to see the little
plane hit the water. It seemed to bounce and flip over, but it
was hard to tell at this distance. He looked up at Virgil, who
paled.
"The jet?"
John said.
"That's
all we have," Virgil said angrily.
"Where's
Dad?" Gordon demanded. He tried to push by John, who moved to
let him go, but he was stopped by Virgil, who was staring over
his head out at the water.
"She
radioed she was having problems," Virgil said distantly.
John
looked up at him. "We need to get a hold of WASP. What's
Father doing?"
"He's with
Scott. Come on."
The three
ran up the rest of the stairs and into the house. Virgil
hurried over to radio and spun the dial.
"Mayday,
mayday, mayday," Virgil said tensely, and waited.
A voice
cracked in over the line.
"WASP
Sydney responding to mayday. What is the nature of the
emergency?"
"This is
Virgil Tracy from location latitude 22.23 S longtitude 129.35
W. Jane Air plane tail number VH-WEN is down near our
location. One person aboard."
"Jane Air
number VH-WEN out of Badgery Creek airport?"
"Affirmative," Virgil said shortly.
"We'll
contact the airport to get the GPS on the aircraft and take
appropriate action, sir. Do you have a visual on the craft?"
the voice said.
Virgil
looked at John, who was standing by the window. John shook his
head.
"Negative," Virgil said.
"Sir,
we've contacted Badgery Creek ATC. They have Jane Air Flight
One lost on radar. We're rerouting the nearest vessel to the
location."
"Affirmative."
"There
goes Scott," John said. As he spoke, the sound of the jet
taking off filled the room.
Virgil
nodded. He switched the radio. "Tracy Island to Tracy One."
"Tracy
One, go ahead."
"WASP
contacted ATC at Badgery Creek and they've dispatching their
ship to the GPS location."
"Affirmative," Scott replied.
Jeff Tracy
walked into the room. His face looked grim.
"I've
radioed WASP," Virgil said. "They're dispatching a vessel."
"How far
away are they?"
Virgil
shook his head. "I don't know."
Jeff put
his hand on his son's shoulders. "All right. Scott will let us
know what he finds."
John
turned from sliding glass doors to face his father. "Can you
do anything else?
Gordon
looked up, surprised.
"No, John,
I can't," Jeff said.
"You don't
have anything here at all that can get out there?" John asked.
"Anything?"
Jeff
looked pained, and he shook his head. "No. Not now."
"We had a
little motorboat," Gordon said tonelessly. "But Virgil took
the motor apart."
John
turned back to staring at the ocean.
"Can you
see Scott?" Gordon asked.
"I'm not
sure," John said. "There's a lot of glare."
"Should I
try to get him?" Virgil asked his father, who shook his head.
"Don't
bother him. He'll contact you as soon as he knows something."
"Tracy One
to Tracy Island," Scott's voice came over the radio. "I have a
visual."
Gordon and
John jumped up and came over to where Virgil and their father
stood by the radio. Scott's voice sounded thin as it came
through the speaker.
"It's...it's wreckage, mostly. I'm turning to come lower, so
hang on a sec."
"Can you
see Nancy?" Virgil asked.
There was
just the crackle of the open line for a moment, and then
Scott's voice came over again. "I can see the fuselage and the
tail...it looks like the tail broke off...wait...I think...I
think I can see her. Hang on, I'm going to contact WASP."
The four
men waited in silence, heads down around the radio.
"Tracy One
to Tracy Island." Scott's voice broke through. "They've got
someone about a half an hour away."
"Can you
see her?"
"I'm
coming up now...yes. That's her! That is definitely her."
The four
men crowded closer around the radio. Gordon's eyes were very
wide. "Is she moving?"
There was
a pause. "She's holding on to...I'm not exactly sure what, but
I can't tell...I can't tell what her condition is."
"Is she
all right?" Virgil asked.
"I can't
tell," Scott said, clearly frustrated. "I go any lower or
slower in this thing I'll stall out."
"All
right, Scott. Just keep circling until you can get an idea,"
Jeff said.
"I'm not
going anywhere," Scott said. "I'll stay here until WASP gets
here."
"A half an
hour is a long time to be in the water," Gordon said softly.
"By yourself."
John
glanced at him, but he was still staring at the radio. Scott
came on again.
"Okay, I
can see her now. She's holding onto a piece of the seat, I
think. She doesn't look injured from here, but I can't really
tell. But she seems to be pretty secure on the cushion. As far
as I can tell, she's looks...oh, she just got swamped by a
pretty big wave. She's been knocked off the seat." He stopped.
The crackle of static on the line seemed very loud. After a
minute Scott's voice came through again.
"She's not
holding on anymore. She's not swimming...I don't think she
can..." The communication broke off.
Virgil
closed his eyes.
"She's..."
Scott cut himself off. "I've got to circle around again."
Nobody in
the lounge said anything. The radio hummed quietly to itself.
"I'm
coming around." Scott's voice broke the silence. "She might
have just been knocked out by that wave."
Virgil put
the handset down on the table and straightened up, shoving his
hands into his pockets. Gordon had his hand to his mouth,
biting his thumbnail. Jeff took a long breath and let it out
silently.
The radio
cracked. "Virgil?"
Virgil
picked up the handset. "I'm here. We're here."
"I can't
see her. I don't...I can't see her any more."
Jeff
gently took the handset from Virgil's grasp. "Scott? Come
home, son."
There was
the briefest of pauses, and then Scott said, "Tracy One to
Tracy Island. I'll wait for WASP. They'll be here in about
twenty minutes. Tracy One out."
Chapter Nine
Aftermaths;
John Tracy and Virgil Tracy have a fight; John makes a
decision.
Virgil had
wanted to meet Scott's plane on the runway, but their father
had been adamant. "Leave him be, for now. He knows where we
are." A few minutes later, he went into another room to try
and get Julie on the phone. John, Virgil, and Gordon were left
in the lounge by themselves. After a moment, Gordon slammed
angrily out of the room.
John
looked over at Virgil, who was sitting at the piano, elbows
resting on the closed cover, chin on his hand. "Do you think I
should go and talk to him?"
Virgil
slowly raised his eyes to John. John felt like he was being
scrutinized through the wrong end of a telescope, reduced to a
distant speck in the room. "I have no idea," Virgil said.
"Maybe."
John
looked down. In the conference room on Grissom, there was a
large window that afforded a great view of the Earth. John
liked to hang out there in his down time, staring at the
planet as it hung implacably in the blackness of space.
Sometimes, though, the view would overwhelm him. He would
think of all the people, all the life, swarming over the
surface at any given moment, the shortness of all of their
lives. Go back a century, and it was the same. Go back a
millennia, and not much had changed; millions of people in a
brief struggle with life that they eventually lost. And the
Earth still hung there, serenely spinning, absorbing all. It
didn't so much make him feel insignificant as it made him
wonder if everything was insignificant. He had found this
oddly reassuring, although he didn't know if too many people
shared his feelings - a lot of people on Gus avoided the room.
But he found it comforting; the planet would probably prevail.
He doubted
it was anything Gordon wanted to hear at the moment.
His father
walked back into the room, looking pale. "I've spoken to
Julie. She's..." He stopped speaking. "She's exactly as you
would expect."
Virgil
looked over at his father. His eyes were very bright, and his
voice sounded a little unsteady. "Should we...do anything?"
"We'll do
whatever we're asked to do, but at the moment..." he broke off
and walked over to the window. "Scott should be here in a
minute."
Virgil
shook his head. "He's going to be...poor Scott."
"Yes. But
he'll be all right."
"Yeah.
He's pretty tough," said Virgil, trying to convince himself.
"No," Jeff
said, with a low note of sadness in his voice. "But he is a
soldier."
Virgil
looked surprised. John regarded at his father thoughtfully.
"I don't
think..." Jeff began slowly. "I don't think Scott should go to
England. I'll go. I'll take Brains inst�" He stopped,
realizing Brains knew nothing of the accident. "I'll go talk
to Brains." He walked swiftly out of the room.
John
looked over at Virgil, but he was still sitting at the piano,
staring out into space. John shifted uncomfortably on the
couch. He remembered when he was in high school, a classmate
had been killed in a drunk driving accident. He had known the
boy, been friends, although not close ones. But at the
funeral, he watched as the boy's parents dissolved under the
weight of their own grief and felt like any sadness he might
feel was almost unworthy. He felt a little like that now.
They sat
in silence for almost half an hour, until Scott came into the
lounge. He stopped when he saw them.
"Are you
guys all right?"
"We're
fine," Virgil said. "Are you all right?"
Scott
nodded briefly, and looked directly at John. "How about you,
Johnny. You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm
fine." John stopped and looked closely at his brother. "Are
you..."
Scott cut
him off. "Where's Gordon? And where's Dad?"
"Dad's
talking to Brains," Virgil said. "And Gordon I'm not sure. He
left...he was..." Virgil stopped. "He left."
Scott
looked irritated. "Somebody should probably go and find him."
John stood
up instantly. "I'll go."
Scott
closed his eyes and rubbed the spot between his eyebrows. "No.
I'll do it."
"No." John
was adamant. "I'll go. Anyway, you should probably go talk to
Father."
"Right."
Scott took a deep breath. "He's in the lab?"
"I think
so." Virgil said.
Scott
nodded, took another breath, and walked out of the room.
Virgil
looked at John. "Better go get Gordon."
"I don't
know what to say to him."
"You don't
actually have to say anything, you know," Virgil said.
"I don't
mean Gordon. I mean Scott."
"Yeah, I
know. I know." Virgil sighed. "I can't think of anything,
either. He's the one who..." he stopped. "This is crazy. Go
get Gordon."
John
headed towards the sliding doors.
"You know,
this is why." Virgil said.
John
stopped, and turned around. Virgil was standing with one hand
on the piano, and his voice was shaking slightly.
"This is
why Father wants us to do this thing. Because we feel like
this right now. Because a woman who was sweet and funny and
kind is dead for some stupid reason, but the next time...the
next time we can get there in time and this won't have to
happen." Virgil sounded angry. "Do you understand this, John?
We're not dealing with the abstract here. This is actual life
and actual death. The next time, nobody feels like this. The
next time, she won't die."
John
looked at Virgil until he was sure that he was finished
speaking, and then wordlessly slid the doors open and went
outside.
Nancy's
death shelved the discussion of their father's plan for a few
days. Not that they were unwilling to discuss it, but Jeff
decided that he and Brains would go to England instead of
Scott, tacking the trip on the end of his Washington trip.
Scott had tried to argue � more than anything, he was itching
to do something, but his father instructed him to stay and
look after his brothers.
No matter
that all Tracys had an allergy to being �looked after', Scott
thought, leaning over the balcony,two days after their father
had departed. Nobody really knew what to say to each other.
Their private grief seem to magnify their worst traits, Scott
thought. Gordon was angry, walking stiffly around the
apartment, answering any question with a bitterly sarcastic
remark. John seemed to be trying to stay out of everyone's
way, and Scott assumed he had been roaming around the island,
because he hadn't seen him. Virgil had simply reported that he
felt sad about it, and probably would for a while, which was
normal, and if Scott wanted to talk about it, he was more than
welcome. Scott sometimes wondered if one of these days, all
Virgil's Zen-like serenity wasn't going to shatter into some
maelstrom of destruction.
Julie had
sent word that at Nancy's family'srequest, the funeral was for
family only. They sent flowers. Scott didn't know what kind;
one of the assistants in the head office handled it. Virgil
had tried to call Julie, but couldn't get hold of her. Scott
didn't want to talk to her. He was afraid she'd ask for
details, and he didn't have any that would comfort her. Did
she signal for help? Did she look like she was in pain? Did
she suffer?
Was she
alive when she hit the water? Was there anything Scott could
have done?
Far across
the ocean, there were a few muted flashes of lightning. Storm
season was starting. Last year, Scott and his father had
watched while the merest edge of a typhoon passed within a few
miles of the island. They got off lightly, with winds of only
90 mph, and a surge of around foot. They stood in the lounge
with the lights off, hands cupped around the window, watching
the sheets of rain and the palm trees blown almost horizontal.
It reminded Scott why people used to think the gods were
pissed off most of the time. The glass had trembled under
their hands, rattling from the gusts. The next morning, as
Scott glumly surveyed the patio he was going to have to spend
all day clearing, his father had remarked that he had the
house built with the storm season in mind. "A little
forethought can avoid a lot of disasters," he had remarked
with satisfaction.
But not
all of them.
Gordon
walked out onto the balcony, stirring Scott out of his
reverie. "Virgil says do you want to watch a movie." He leaned
on the railing of the balcony and let the wind ruffle his
hair.
"If I say
no, is Virgil going to come out with that nursemaid look on
his face and ask me if I'd rather talk instead?" Scott asked.
"No,"
Virgil said. "I'm going to take the movie and shove it up your
ass."
Gordon
laughed as Scott turned in surprise to see his brother leaning
against the door.
"Sorry,"
Scott said, meaning it.
"Go to
hell" Virgil muttered, but came out on the balcony. The wind
was blowing straight at them, damp and smelling of rain. A
thin layer of clouds were scudding across the sky, backlit by
the almost full moon. The sky put Virgil in mind of a giant
reptile skin.
"Feels
like spring," Gordon said.
"Doesn't
it? The wind here gets deceptive," Virgil said. "I don't think
I'm ever going to get used to the weather."
"I hear
that. I miss snow," Gordon said. "I miss fall. I miss leaf
piles."
"So says
the weasel who always managed to get out of raking and
shoveling," Scott said
"I think
if it wasn't for the storms, Father wouldn't live here,"
Virgil said. "It's too comfortable."
"Except
for the complete and total isolation," Gordon said.
"Builds
character," Virgil said with a grin at his brother.
"And what
are we supposed to do with all this character after we've
built it?" Gordon asked.
"Keep it
�til you need it," Scott said.
"Sell it,"
Virgil said. "It's all part of the trust fund."
Scott
smiled, but Gordon's expression clouded.
"This is
such a waste of time," he muttered, and brushed past Virgil to
go back into the house, pointedly pulling the door shut behind
him.
Virgil
shook his head and looked at his older brother, who just
shrugged.
"He'll be
all right," Scott said. "It just comes out at strange angles."
Virgil
nodded. "And you?"
"You have
got to stop asking me. I'm fine." Scott said wearily.
"Well,"
Virgil said after a minute. "You're not saying anything."
"What
could I possibly say that would make any difference?" Scott
asked.
"You feel
guilty." Virgil said. "That's natural, but it's a very
misplaced feeling..."
Scott cut
him off. "I don't feel guilty, Virgil. I was in the Peninsula
in '22. Do you really think I don't know the difference
between accidental death and deliberate death? Do you really
think I have the time to go around looking for guilt to take
on? Nancy died because of one of two things: plane malfunction
or pilot error, but in either case, I'm pretty sure the impact
of the crash killed her. It's a tragedy, but it's not my
tragedy. None of this has anything to do with me." He looked
at Virgil. "She was my friend, Virg, and she's dead. I don't
really want to talk about it anymore." He turned back to the
ocean.
Virgil was
quiet for a moment. "Okay." He seemed about to say something
else, but then just repeated, "Okay." He exited the balcony.
The silo
was dimly lit. The gantry and long bulk of the rocket were
casting strange shadows across the floor. Virgil paused as the
door slid shut behind him, letting his eyes adjust.
"John?"
He could
hear the ringing sounds of someone walking on the metal
scaffolding overhead. "Who's that? Virgil?"
"Yeah.
What are you doing?"
There was
a pause. "Technically? Nothing. Come on up."
Virgil
groped for the handrail. The stairs were against the wall,
obscured in shadow. "Why are you sitting here in the dark?"
Virgil asked.
"I like
the dark," John said defensively. He added, "I'm a little
leery of wandering around here and pressing buttons if I don't
know what they do."
"That's
very sensible of you." Virgil said, coming to the top of the
stairs. He could just make out the gleam of his brother's hair
in the murky light. He was sitting on the walkway, legs
dangling through the railing. Virgil sat down next to him.
"How's it
going?"
"Oh, don't
worry about me," John said. "I'm fine."
"That
seems to be the party line," Virgil said. John gave him a
funny look. Virgil waved his hand. "Never mind."
John
indicated the rocket in front of him. "I've just been sitting
here, staring at it." He shook his head. "I'm still having a
hard time coming to grips with the fact that my father has a
working rocket in his basement."
"It does
take some getting used to," Virgil agreed.
"What did
you have to do with this?"
"Nothing.
This baby was together way before I ever came on board. In
fact, before Scott." Virgil scratched his jaw. "I think Dad
had it designed and then he found Brains and Brains knocked
three years of development time off it in one big burst of
caffine."
"That
guy's weird," John said. "No offense. But he's weird."
"Being
that smart isn't easy. I knew some people like him at CIT.
They could built a particle accelerator in their sleep but
couldn't figure out how to operate a toaster."
"It's not
that. But he flattens himself against the wall every time he
sees me. It's like he thinks I'm going to mow him down or
something."
Virgil
tried to keep himself from laughing, without success. "Yeah,
he did the same thing to me when I first got here. He's shy.
You should cut him some slack, though � he's got an IQ that's
practically a zip code. Get to know him � he's the same age as
you."
John sat
up. "He's the same age as me and he designed this thing?"
"Told you.
He's a smart kid."
John
rested his chin back on the railing. "You're not kidding.
Father gave me the plans and told me to look them over if I
wanted to. I've read some papers on this type of propulsion
and I know that NASA and some other private agencies have been
doing some tests, but they've been very preliminary. This
thing shouldn't exist for another fifteen years."
Virgil
nodded. "Stick around here long enough and you get bored with
astonishment."
"Has it
been tested?"
"Of course
it's been tested. It wouldn't be here if it wasn't."
"Where
does it launch from?"
"In here."
"In here?
From inside here?"
Virgil
nodded. "And lands."
John
blinked. "You land this in here? Through the big round thing
up there?"
"How did
you think we got it back in here?"
"I don't
know. I thought you were hiding it from satellite cameras. How
do you do it?"
"Ask the
astronaut. Better yet, give it a go on the simulator."
"We have a
simulator?" John's eyes widened. "We have an actual
simulator?"
"Considering that you've never really mastered parallel
parking, Father thought it would be a good precaution."
"Shut up,"
John said absently. "I..." He stopped. "I see what you mean
about astonishment."
"Sometimes
six impossible things before breakfast is a light day." Virgil
said with a smile.
"So...you're really doing this." John said.
Virgil
nodded.
John
rested his chin back on the railing without saying anything.
"You don't
have to hide, you know," Virgil said.
John
looked surprised. "I'm really not hiding. I want a little time
to think. And also..." he stopped. "This is going to sound
very stupid, but...I didn't really want to...crash the
funeral, if you know what I mean."
"That does
sound stupid," Virgil agreed.
"I didn't
know her...you guys did, and..." John shrugged uncomfortably.
"I don't have anything to say that doesn't sound completely
formulaic."
"I think
you worry about strange things, grasshopper," Virgil said.
"You're
not really one to talk," John said. "Considering that you just
quit your job to become a superhero."
"You're
missing the point," Virgil said. "By a couple of miles."
"I guess.
Maybe. I still don't completely believe it," John said. "It's
like the logical side of me is saying that this is completely
ridiculous...and the..." he stopped. "Actually, I can't get
past the logical side of me. That's the side with all the
ammo." He took a breath. "Virg...I talked to Laidlaw at ISA
yesterday."
"Who's
Laidlaw?"
"My boss.
Look. I know this is a bad time to bring this up and
everything, but I've got to get back."
Virgil was
startled. "Back to Florida? Why?"
"I live
there. I work there. Even if I do decide to do
this...completely insane propostion..."
"That's
like the third time you've called it that..."
"I still
need to go back. International cooperation is all well and
good, but it's not the kind of place you can just call in and
say you quit."
"Father's
not going to be happy about that," Virgil said.
"Well, if
he doesn't like it, he can call the President and get him to
mobilize a squadron to get me back here," John snapped.
Virgil
drummed his fingers on the railing. "John, no offense, but
you've really got to come down from the cross at some point.
Father may have done you an injustice, but he did not destroy
your career."
"Well, we
don't know that, do we?"
"Well, I
didn't go to Harvard, but I think I'm pretty smart, and I'm
fairly sure they're not going to fire the contractor's son,"
Virgil said. He held up his hand to stop John's protest. "Yes,
I know. That's exactly your point. Listen, I know you're a
very, very smart kid. But there are millions of very smart
kids in this country and not all of them get to go to prep
schools and observatories and Harvard. You're not Abraham
Lincoln. You're the son of your father. Acting like it's some
sort of handicap is embarrassing, John. And I'm getting tired
of it."
"Are you
finished?" John asked angrily.
"No, I'm
not finished. You're sitting in front of the most
technologically advanced piece of machinery on the planet, and
all you see is an affront. You've got a chance to make a
difference in world. You've got a chance to save lives, and
all you can say is �he didn't ask me.'"
"That's
not what I said," John's voice was low.
"Yes, you
said he was going to invade Fiji. It's what you meant." Virgil
said. "I know you don't think this is a bad idea, because this
is an inspired idea and you know it. You're just angry because
you feel left out, and because Dad interfered in your life.
But Dad would have a lot easier time treating you like an
adult if you didn't throw a temper tantrum any time anyone
tells you what they think you should do. He's your father. He
can tell you anything he damn well feels like. You're not
obliged to act on it, but you should be respectful enough to
listen to him and not act like you're eight and he took your
allowance away." Virgil stood up. "You're supposed to be the
one who sees through everything. Get your head out of your ass
and look at what's in front of you. You can either stay at ISA
and build Pittsburgh on the moon, or you can use your Harvard
education and your ISA training and your father's money and
your brothers' expertise and all this technology and do
something that matters with it." Virgil looked down at his
brother. "Now I'm finished."
John
didn't say anything, and didn't look at Virgil. Virgil waited
a moment, and then turned and banged down the stairs. When he
reached the bottom, he turned to peer up at his brother. He
couldn't see him.
"If you
see Scott, tell him I need to talk to him about flying me back
to Sydney," John's voice floated down from the gantry.
Virgil was
too angry to answer. He let the door slam shut behind him with
a metallic clang.
Chapter Ten
In which Gordon Tracy honors a fallen friend; Virgil Tracy
uncovers a flaw.
Virgil
banged open the door to the lounge and slammed it behind him.
Kyrano, who had been passing by the hallway carrying a large
plastic bag, stopped and raised an eyebrow.
"Sorry,"
Virgil said.
"Your
brother is down by the pool," Kyrano said. "Perhaps you should
join him."
Virgil
nodded absently. After a moment, he noticed Kyrano was still
watching him.
"What?" he
asked.
"Your
brother is down by the pool," Kyrano repeated.
"Got it,"
Virgil said. Kyrano gave him an oddly measured look, and
continued on his way.
Virgil
shook his head, and walked into the main room of the lounge.
He could see, dimly silhouetted against the night sky, the
tall figure of his brother standing out on the balcony. He
slid the door aside and walked out to join him.
"I was
just..." he checked at the sight below him on the patio.
Gordon was
down on one knee at the edge of the pool, a large back of
votive candles next to him. He was igniting the candles one by
one, and placing them around the pool. The surface of the
three tables on the patio were covered with the tiny flames;
Gordon had turned off the overhead lights that normally
illuminated the poolside, and the area glowed with pinpoints
of uncertain light.
Virgil
looked at Scott, who was staring bemusedly down at the scene.
"This is new."
"Mm,"
Scott said. He rubbed the side of his face absently.
Virgil
leaned over the railing. "Where on earth did he get all
those?"
"Kyrano,"
Scott said.
"Who
happened to have two thousand candles lying around in drawer
somewhere?"
Scott
smiled, and made a gesture to Virgil to lower his voice.
"How long
has he been doing this?" Virgil asked, more softly. Scott
shrugged.
"As long
as all that takes. Probably a half an hour."
"Should we
go and stop him?"
Scott
turned, surprised. "Why would we do that?"
Virgil
tried again. "Should we go and help him?"
Scott
nodded, and finally turned his full attention to Virgil. "I
was waiting for you, actually. Where were you?"
"In the
silo, fighting with John." Virgil lowered his voice again.
"Virg...leave
John alone. Leave the whole thing alone."
"He's
asked if you'll take him back to Sydney."
Scott
looked regretful, but resigned. "Well, that's his right." He
turned back to watch as Gordon lit another candle and his
face, serious and intent, was illuminated for a moment before
winking back into darkness. "He needs to find his own way out
of this."
"Yeah, but
he's wrong," Virgil said, insistent. Scott just shrugged.
Virgil stared at him.
"That
doesn't bother you?"
"Of course
it bothers me." Scott said. "My little brother would rather
live on the moon than work with us; believe you me, Virgil, it
bothers me. But at this particular moment, I want to deal with
this." He gestured to the scene below. "Come on."
Virgil
followed him as he walked down the stairs. "You think Gordon's
losing it a little over this?"
"It's a
tribute, Virg." Scott said. "Have some respect."
In the
end, it was an hour before they ran out of candles. Kyrano
kept bringing out more: tiny votives, waxy piles of slender
tapers that Virgil stuck to the railing, thick pillars. And
when Kyrano couldn't find any more he joined them, kneeling
down not far from Gordon, lighting the candles and placing
them randomly across the slate surface of the poolside. Nobody
said anything much.
When they
finished, they dragged chairs to the darkest corner of the
area and sat, surveying their work. Kyrano went inside and
brought them out cups of some smoky-tasting tea and then
slipped away.
"It
doesn't look like a party, does it?" Gordon asked.
"Nope,"
Scott said. "It's nice."
"It does
look slightly unhinged, though," Virgil said.
Gordon
laughed, finally. "Well, maybe it is."
"What gave
you the idea?" Virgil asked.
"I have
this weird memory of people putting all these candles in a
river because a bunch of people died. I don't know where I
remember it from, but I just thought...I was going to put them
in the pool, but then decided that was probably a bad idea."
He paused. "Do you remember what she used to say to me every
time after I'd come back from pt in Sydney?"
Virgil
laughed. " �Can't you walk yet?'"
"She once
gave me this whole routine on how she was convinced we were
making crystal meth and that was how we had all our money,"
Scott said. "Because god knows we weren't smart enough to come
by it honestly. Except Dad."
"She loved
Dad," Virgil said.
"He liked
her as well," Scott said. He swung his voice into an imitation
of their father. "That Nancy. She's a good pilot."
"He was
that sentimental?" Gordon asked. "Wow."
"Dad likes
people who have tiny struggling businesses that are doomed to
never make any money," Virgil said. "Kind of the way some
people like dogs."
"Nancy and
Jane were doing okay," Scott said.
"I mean
real money. Dad money."
Scott
frowned.
"Hey,
where the hell is John?" Gordon asked suddenly.
"On the
roof of the roundhouse," Virgil said.
"What
makes you say that?" Scott asked.
"Because
he's on the roof of the roundhouse," Virgil said.
"You can
see up there?"
"No. I saw
a light go on while we were doing our candle thing. Unless
it's a ghost, he must have gone in there."
"How'd you
get that he's on the roof from one light going on?" Gordon
asked.
"Why be
down here with us when you can be up there railing against
us?" Virgil muttered. Scott threw him a quieting glance.
Gordon
stood up. "I'm going up there."
"Be
careful," Virgil said.
Gordon
gave him the finger as he was walking away. Virgil shook his
head.
"I've got
to stop doing that. I know it drives him up the wall."
Scott
nodded. "You should. Try to stop, I mean."
Virgil
tipped his head back and sighed. "Why are we all so mad at
each other?"
The
question caught Scott by surprise. "I don't know."
They sat
in silence for a while, watching the wind blow the candles out
one by one. "You know what the problem is?" Virgil said
finally. "Dad keeps impressing on us that we're the core of
this thing we're going to do. That we're going to be this
great family team, something out of a movie. But Gordon won't
talk to us, John is in his usual low-grade seethe; who knows
how Alan is going to react. How are we supposed to trust each
other if Dad doesn't even trust all of us to know the truth?"
Chapter Eleven
In which certain secrets are revealed, certain guilts are
exposed, and certain decisions are derided.
The
roundhouse always gave Gordon the creeps. It had five large
rooms, all connected by a central hallway, but the rooms
themselves were empty. Or, mostly empty. Virgil had, early on,
thought about setting one up as a studio, and he did paint in
the southernmost one occasionally, but he confessed it was
difficult to relax in there. It was always cool in there,
which was odd considering that the rooms all had glass
windows, but they must be made of some special glass, Gordon
thought, because it never seemed to warm up. The rooms
themselves seemed like they could be bedrooms, and somewhere
in the circle were a couple of bathrooms, but their father
never really said what he intended it for, and the rooms
remained blank and featureless as glass itself. It was an
entire building that seemed to be waiting for a purpose - not
a hallmark of Tracy design. Gordon had the feeling that if he
looked hard enough, he would flip a switch and reveal a secret
lab, or a hidden passage, or something worse.
"Where
people who tried to sue Tracy Industries wind up," he muttered
to himself. The inner perimeter was lit was supplied by a
series of bulbs that were nestled into a sort of trench that
ran around the upper edge of the ceiling. Walking slowly, eyes
on the ceiling, Gordon searched for an indication of a way out
onto the roof.
"Where he
buried the bodies of the first five sons," he murmured. "Where
he keeps the world's supply of o-rings. Where he...well,
aren't you tricky." Against the wall, barely visible, was a
ladder made of wire, so thin it looked like it had been
sketched lightly in pencil on the wall itself. Gordon pulled
on one of the wires, and was surprised by the tensile
strength. At the top was another scant shadow, the outline of
a door.
Feeling
spidery, Gordon tentatively began to climb. The wires bore his
weight with no problem. Another billion dollars in the trust
fund, Gordon thought. He reached the top and paused. He held
the topmost wire with his left hand, on his stronger side, and
pushed up with his right. This was precisely the sort of
movement that his injuries made difficult. The reconstruction
on his shattered collarbone had been good, but he had problems
extending his right arm fully, and it still hadn't nearly
caught up with his left in terms of strength. He switched
hands, feeling less secure has he was now holding on with his
right, and pushed up with his left, but at least he had enough
mobility to shove the door open. A square of starry blackness
greeted him, and, after a moment, his brother's face, looking
startled.
"Hi,"
Gordon said cheerfully. "What's up?"
"Have I
always been this obvious?" John asked.
"Yep."
Gordon said. He grabbed onto the edge of the opening with his
right hand, and glanced down. He was on the top wire, and
there was still a lot of space between him and the edge of the
opening. "It would have killed Dad to make this ladder
higher?"
"If you're
Dad, it is higher," John said. "You want me to get you a phone
book to stand on?"
Gordon
made a face at his brother, gripped the opening with both
hands, and began to pull himself up. His left arm pulled him
up without any problem, but he was getting the familiar,
infuriating feeling of his body betraying him. His right arm
couldn't handle the weight and Gordon began to fall forward,
off the ladder and onto his weaker arm John finally figured
out what was going on and stepped forward, grabbing him under
the arm and hauling him forward so he was over the opening
enough to climb out on his own.
"Hand
slipped," Gordon lied, sitting on the roof and rubbing his
right arm.
"Whatever
you say," John said, sitting down next to him. "Virgil tell
you I was up here?"
"Yeah, he
saw a light on. So how does it look from up here?"
"How does
what look?"
"How
does...the pool! The thing by the pool!"
"What are
you talking about?"
Gordon
stood up. "Get up." After his brother stood, he grabbed him by
the shoulders and frog-marched him around the perimeter of the
roundhouse, until they reached the side that overlooked the
pool. "Look."
John
whistled in surprise. "Did you do that?"
"Yeah.
Well, Scott and Virgil and Kyrano helped."
"It looks
like the sky."
"Yeah."
The candles had been placed randomly, but formed clusters at
certain points, were scattered more widely in other areas.
"It's a
very small universe," John said. "You're just missing the
planets."
Gordon
squinted. "Well, Scott and Virgil are probably still down
there. You really didn't notice it?"
"I was
looking the other way." John said.
"There
isn't anything that way."
"The rest
of the planet is that way."
Gordon
wheeled around. He pointed to the vast expanse of blackness
that was the ocean. "You could stare at a wall and..."
"Oh, shut
up," John said companionably. He sat down on the roof and
Gordon copied him.
"It was
for Nancy," Gordon said abruptly.
"I
figured." John said. "It's appropriate. It's good."
They sat
in silence for a while, staring at the lights by the pool.
Some of the smaller ones were fading, and a few finally winked
out.
"I keep
feeling guilty," Gordon said. "Sounds stupid, doesn't it?"
"Guilty
about what?"
"Nancy."
"Why on
earth would you feel guilty?"
Gordon
lifted a hand, and let it drop to his side uselessly. "I don't
know. I keep picturing her in the water. And every time I
picture her in the water, I keep thinking about me in the
water. I keep thinking about what Scott must have seen from
the air, you know, the wreckage and stuff. I know that when we
hit...they told me there was this swath of wreckage that
covered a quarter mile. I keep wondering if there was a Scott
up there, who had to watch DeSouza and Garcia go down." Gordon
stopped. "I know it sounds really, really stupid, and I don't
mean it at all, but everyone always told me that I was lucky
one because I survived and I know that, but then something
like this happens and it's like, who the hell am I?" He turned
to John. "I'm happy to be alive and all, but it's just..." he
shook his head. "For every me, there are a fifty Nancys. A
hundred Julies."
"Sometimes
more," John said.
"And I
keep thinking, well, if I'm the lucky one, I should do
something, you know? I keep thinking if I had been on the WASP
boat that Virgil called, maybe we would have gotten there in
time...although now that I say that out loud, it sounds even
stupider." Gordon let out a breath. "I hate feeling
powerless."
"So do I,"
John said, with some feeling.
"And
whenever I say anything like this to Dad or Scott they just
tell me to wait. For what! It seriously drives me up the
wall." Gordon rubbed his right shoulder absently. "Maybe I
should come back to Florida with you."
"Florida?
What for?"
"Get out
of here. See if I can do something else."
"Gordon...nobody lives in Florida because they want to. They
only live there if they have to."
"I don't
care. I'll work at Disneyworld. I still have some contacts at
WASP. I'll find something."
"Why don't
you go back to school?"
"Don't
start."
"Why don't
you..."
"Would it
really bother you that much if I went with you?"
"No,."
John said. "It just seems to me - as a disinterested observer
- that you'd be sort of running away. In a way."
"'As a
disinterested observer?' You're my brother."
"That,
too."
Gordon
pulled up his knees and wrapped his arms around them. "I don't
know. This whole thing Dad's got going on this island. It's
like he wants us to badly to all be here and it's so forced.
We spent so much time away from each other at those schools,
and it's like now he wants us all to be back here, and it's
really..." Gordon let out a breath. "Too late. I wish he'd
stop trying."
John was
quiet, thinking.
"I guess
he's lonely, though." Gordon added. "But he'd never say so."
He waited for John to say something, then continued. "But you
know, I can't let what he wants guide my life. You know that
better than anyone. I can't sit here and feel useless and I
don't want Dad to give me some makework desk job in the
company. So. You're okay with it? With me coming with you?"
John
didn't say anything for a long while. Finally, he turned to
Gordon. "Want to know a secret?"
"I knew
it! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! I knew something was
going on here, and Scott and Virgil were always acting all
secretive and to be totally honest, I always thought there was
something a little weird with Brains being here but now that
makes total sense and I knew it! Ha!" Gordon tipped his head
back and made a gesture as if to grab a large handfuls of
stars out of the sky. "Finally!" It all makes sense!" He
turned to look at John. "You know, I was worried that Dad was
going a little crazy. He was getting a little Howard Hughesy
for a minute there." He grinned.
"You don't
think building your own rocket out-freaks the Spruce Goose?"
"Not when
it works! Not when it's for this!" Gordon stared down at John.
"He built a rocket!" He dropped to the ground in front of
John, slightly out of breath. "Show me the silo?"
"Yeah, if
Scott and Virgil are asleep. So you'll stay, right?"
"Hell
yeah, I'll..." Gordon stopped. "Wait. You're not staying?"
"No. I've
got to go back."
"Why?"
"Because,
Gordon, I have a job."
Gordon was
incredulous. "You have a job? A job? John...rocket! Space
station! He built you your own treehouse in space." He sat
back. "You really don't want to do this?"
"It's more
complicated than that." John said.
"Try me."
John
rubbed his eyes. "It's more to do with Dad...he just expected
me to drop everything and join up when he said jump, and..."
He stopped. Gordon was staring at him with a combination of
fascination and disgust.
"Are you
serious?"
"I don't
know. I've been thinking about it a lot. Now that I've been
able to get my head around the whole scope of the project. And
I keep thinking that...I don't know, was this always the plan?
I mean, did he start thinking about this after Al was born?
Did he pitch me science and math because he needed it for
this? I keep thinking that I've been trying so hard to carve
out my own life and the whole time he's been steering me �
steering all of this � and I didn't even know."
"It
doesn't matter."
"Of course
it matters! It's my life."
"That's
beside the point." Gordon sat down. "You're being an idiot.
It's understandable, because you've always sort of been an
idiot. That's what happens when you go to college. You start
thinking you're smart. It's a common misconception."
"Gordon..."
"For god's
sake, John, think about who you're talking to! Did you hear
anything I was saying fifteen minutes ago? Nancy in the water
� that was me. Those kids that got lost on the mountain the
other week and they just found their bodies? They're me, too.
That earthquake in Iran? Me. They're all me. I'm the world,
John, and I'm telling you, I need you on this. Yeah, you're
right, this isn't about you. It's about me. And I need you on
this. And Scott and Virgil and Alan and Dad and...Brains, I
guess, and whoever else Dad decides this thing needs to work.
Take it from one of the lucky ones." He sat back. "Anyway. You
owe it to me."
"I owe
you?"
"Yeah. I
lived. You owe. It's payback."
"That's a
weird karmic little circle you've got there, G."
"Better
than yours, Ghengis John."
Below
them, the candles were slowly flickering out. John saw a
shadow move across them. "Scott's still down there."
"Did you
hear what I said?"
"I heard
you, I heard you."
"And?"
John
stared out at the candles. "I think you're right."
"About
what?"
"That I've
always sort of been an idiot." He stood up. "I don't know if
that realization changes anything, though. It's not that easy,
you know."
"It is
easy," Gordon said. "You just don't understand what easy
actually means."
Chapter Twelve
In which John Tracy meets an ordinary person; the purpose of
life is discussed; John makes a decision, but you'd probably
never notice because it's buried under eight tons of evasion
and some crap about wolves.
"You
should remember to rest your eyes every twenty minutes."
John
looked up, startled. "Excuse me?"
The flight
attendant smiled at him. "Could I get you something to drink,
Mr. Tracy?"
John shook
his head, more to clear it than to refuse.
"If you
need anything, just let me know." She bestowed another smile
on him, and moved on to the seat behind him.
John sat
back and rubbed his eyes. He turned the screen of his laptop
away from him for a minute and blinked a few times, trying to
get his eyes to refocus.
"Big
meeting?" a voice next to him rumbled.
It was the
man next to him. He had come in a few minutes before takeoff,
downed a glass of Scotch, and promptly fell asleep. John had
hoped that he would remain so for the rest of the flight. No
such luck, apparently. "No," he said, politely but hopefully
with a cool enough tone for the guy to understand that he
didn't want to talk.
The man
ignored it. "You're too young to be working so hard." He
cleared his throat and stirred restlessly.
"I'm not
working," John said simply. "Just reading."
The man
reached over and spun John's computer around so he could see
the screen.
"Hey!"
John slammed the laptop down, and looked at the man in
astonished outrage, but his seatmate gave a hacking laugh that
turned into a bout of coughing.
"That's
what you read for fun?" he rasped out when he was through.
John was in the process of shutting down and putting away his
computer, and only gave the man an irritated glance. He was
older, probably a good ten years older than John's father,
florid of face with white hair combed back from his head. He
was wearing what looked to be an extremely expensive suit.
"Ah, I'm
sorry. Just pulling your leg. Been on this plane so long I
start to get a little crazy. I hate flying. I do nothing but
travel, and hate every minute of it. It's always the same.
Same food, same routine, same thing every time. An airplane is
its own little world, you ever notice that? Doesn't matter
what time it is, they decide it's dinner time, you eat dinner
and then they turn off the lights and it's night. Could be
four o'clock in the afternoon. It's own world. The world of
planes."
John
paused in shoving his laptop into its case, thought about that
for a moment, shrugged, and zipped up the case.
The man
stuck out his hand. "Hamilton Caine."
Figuring
he might as well make the best of it, John shook it. "John
Tracy."
"Nice to
meet you. First time going to Sydney?"
John shook
his head. "No. You?"
"I wish."
He glanced around the cabin, and lowered his voice. "I hate
Australia."
John
thought for a moment. "You know, I don't think I've ever heard
anybody say that."
"Yeah,
everyone loves it. Except me." Hamilton Caine shook his head.
"It's too fucking far away. Don't get me wrong, kid, it's a
nice place � and the girls are beautiful � but it's way too
far away from everything. It's in the middle of nowhere!
What's around it? Nothing. Plus a whole chunk of it is desert.
Nah. Too hot, too far away. They should just take a section of
Texas, plant a flag, stick a couple of kangaroos in and set up
shop there."
John
didn't know whether to argue or laugh. The man's bushy white
eyebrows were drawn together, and he seemed genuinely peeved,
however.
"It's not
really in the middle of nowhere," John pointed out gamely.
"Yeah?
Says who?"
"New
Zealand."
"Eh." The
man made a dismissive gesture. "Australia without kangaroos.
Ask yourself this, kid. What has New Zealand done for you?"
"Me
personally?"
"My point
exactly. Nothing."
John tried
to get the conversation back on more normal ground. "Do you
have family in Sydney?"
The man
sighed. "No. I own a company there that's falling apart. No,
it's not falling apart. It thinks it's falling apart. They all
think they're falling apart, getting panicky. It's a sad thing
to see a company � a whole company � panic. What are they
scared of?" He gave John a friendly slap on the arm with the
back of his hand. "You know what they're scared of? Guess what
they're scared of."
"You?"
John said.
Hamilton
Caine broke into another wheezing laugh. "That's right.
They're scared of me. You know why they're scared of me?"
Because
you're insane, John thought. Aloud, he said, "Because you run
the company?"
"No! No."
The man shook his head. "No, kid. That's not it. Hey,
John...it's John, right? What do you do? What's your job, in,
in life."
"Well,
actually, I'm sort of trying to figure out..."
The man
cut him off. "Go to college?"
"Yeah."
"Good
school?"
"Harvard."
"Well,
that'll impress some people. You just graduate?"
"No, not
really."
"Well,
kid, let me give you some advice. Any schmuck can run a
company, you get that?"
"Any
schmuck can run a company," John repeated dutifully. The man
sat back a bit and gave him an appraising look.
"Yeah,
fine. Okay. Listen to me, this is something you're going to
need. Kids like you, smart, good education � they get into a
company and they see the CEO and he's got the nice office and
the nice car and the big house and they say, hell, that's not
so hard. I can do that. And you know what? They probably
could. Most of them don't � and that's a whole other can of
wax � but most of them could. It's not brain science. Anyone
can run a company. But what I do is hard. Do you know what I
do?"
John shook
his head.
"I run an
empire." The man sat back in satisfaction. "That's right.
That's no cakewalk."
"What kind
of empire?" John asked.
"A
business empire."
"Yeah, but
what kind of business?"
"Just
business." The man looked pleased with John's reaction.
"But you
can't just have a business...I mean, business isn't a
business..."
"You might
want to wait on that application to Wharton. Of course
business is a business! It's the only business! What do I want
to be, the sneaker king? The lord of textiles? No! There is
one common denominator to all of this, my friend, and do you
know what that is?"
"Business?"
"Money."
"Oh."
The man
raised a finger. "Once you start making money," he intoned.
"Your only purpose is to continue to make money. And then to
take that money to make more money. It doesn't matter how you
do it or what you do it with, just as long as it gets made.
That's all that business is. That's what running an empire
is."
"You make
a lot of money?" John asked.
The man
smiled. "I make a lot of money."
"That must
be nice."
"Do you
make a lot of money?"
"I don't
make any money at the moment," John said.
"But you
can afford a first class ticket to Sydney?"
John
shrugged. "Yeah, well. Yeah."
"Your
family, they have money?"
"Well...I
suppose so," John said uncomfortably.
Hamilton
Caine shook his head. "Whatta acting so squirrelly for? Having
money isn't anything to be ashamed of. You can't help it,
right?"
"I guess
not."
"But you
can spend it."
"That I
can do."
"Or you
can make more."
"Only if
ISA decides to start paying better..." that was out of his
mouth before he could stop it.
"ISA?
Who's ISA?"
"The
International Space Agency."
Hamilton
Caine looked at John blankly for a second. "That French
thing?"
"No, it's
international. I mean, France is involved, but..."
"Those the
people who built that base on the moon?"
"Yeah."
"You were
on the moon?"
"Yeah."
"That's a
dead end if I ever heard it. Huge waste of money. You want my
advice, kid, get out of that racket as soon as you can."
"I don't
know that I'd call it a racket..."
"Everything is a racket. The faster you learn that, the better
off you'll be. Seriously, what are we doing there?" He looked
at John. "I'm asking you."
"Well,
there are a lot of benefits to having a permanent base on the
moon. They're building a launch facility, because it's a lot
easier to launch things from the moon. And there's no light
pollution, so we can..." He trailed off, because Hamilton
Caine was shaking his head back and forth. "Now what?"
"We don't
need that."
"We who?"
John snapped.
"We who.
Who do you think? The human race. The whole goddamned world,
that's we who. What do we need to go to outer space for? What
do we need to go peering through galaxies for? We've been
doing this since my father was a kid and what has it gotten
us? Nothing. It's a huge waste of resources. Where's the
payoff? They found carbon on some moon of some planet it takes
eight billion years to get to. They all get excited, and
nothing changes."
John
tipped his head back and stared at the back of the seat in
front of him for a moment. "Okay," he said after a minute.
"What is supposed to be the payoff?"
"It needs
to be able to pay for itself," Hamilton Caine said. "It needs
to generate some revenue."
"It's an
international research organization." John said. "How on earth
is it supposed to generate revenue?"
Hamilton
Caine stared at him. "Kid, were you born in the briar patch or
something? You think all those scientists labor all day in
labs for the common good? You think President what's-his-face
said that we needed to put a man on the moon because it was
good for humanity?"
"It wasn't
for money." John said.
"It's
always for money. It is always for money...yes, could I have a
Glenmorganie, please. And one for my friend." Hamilton had
signaled a flight attendant as he was walking by.
"I
don't...fine." John said. It would numb the pain.
Hamilton
Caine slapped him on the knee. "Come on, Harvard. What kind of
society do we live in?"
John
rolled his head to the side to look at his seatmate. "What?"
"What kind
of society is this?"
It was
like a hedge maze, John decided. Every time you thought you
had reached the center, you were forced to take another left
turn. "I have no idea."
"See,
right there is your problem."
"I don't
know! A bad one? A corrupt one?"
Hamilton
was shaking his head. "No, no. Those are moral judgments and I
have no use for them. We live in a capitalist society.
Everything comes down to money. It is the only reason anyone
does anything. Money doesn't only get you everything, money is
the only thing that gets you anything. Your fellow man will
not feed you if you don't have money. He will not clothe you,
he will not let you survive; in fact, he will deem you useless
and encourage you to die."
John
opened his mouth to say something, but his seatmate waved him
quiet. "Spare me. Yes, yes, it's horrible, how could I say
something. Well, I say it for the same reason I say anything:
it's true. It's not good, or bad, it's just fact. It's the way
the world is."
"I don't
think it is." John said. "I mean, I don't see how it could be.
That's not so much immoral as amoral. And I don't think we're
like that."
Hamilton
Caine sighed. "It sucks. But we are, and you'd better get used
to it, because life becomes a lot easier when you realize that
the entire construct of society is to fuck over your fellow
man. At least economically, if not physically. Hey, I'm a rich
man. I'm not ashamed to say it. I got more money than god. I
give money to charity. You know who I like? The wolves, the
ones that the ranchers keep trying to shoot. So I give money
to the wolf people. I don't even know if the money does
anything. I haven't noticed any more wolves around. So do I do
it for them, or for me? I do it for me. They're just an
excuse. I can say, hey, money's not so bad, I can use it to
help people. But what do I really use it for? A tax write off.
Does it make me a bad person? I don't think so. I just think
it makes me a person."
The flight
attendant came over and handed Hamilton Caine his Scotch,
which he passed to John. John sniffed the amber liquid warily.
He had never been much of a drinker; it was Scott and his
father who got all complicated about Scotch.
"They cure
it in oak barrels by the sea. You can taste the sea." Hamilton
Caine said shortly, and lifted his glass. "To a better world."
John
raised his glass and took a cautious sip. Hamilton Caine must
swim in hell's ocean, he decided. Hamilton Caine shook his
head. "Wasted on someone your age."
"Probably," John agreed.
"Look at
that," Hamilton Caine pointed out the window. John turned and
looked. Against the cold indigo sky, the moon, lopsidedly a
few days short of full, burned brightly.
"Do you
know what that used to be?"
"What it
used to be? Before what?" John was at sea, again.
"It used
to be a god."
"Oh."
"And then
we grew up a little, and it became just another place to go."
Hamilton Caine took a sip of Scotch and sighed. "And now we're
drilling it full of holes. We're not going to do the moon any
good, that's for damn sure. So you can forget about your ISA,
or whatever it is. It's nothing but a bunch of wildcatters."
"You have
a very depressing world view," John told him.
"That's
what my granddaughter keeps telling me. She's twelve. Smart as
a tack."
John took
another sip of Scotch. This one didn't hurt as much. "All
right, Mr. Caine. If you were me, what would you do?"
"With
what?"
"My life.
ISA is Jettexas, the world is corrupt, I've got a Harvard
education and let's just say I have enough money to write my
own ticket. Where do I go?"
"I love it
when this happens. All the time the kids are asking me for
advice. Makes me feel like the Godfather. All right. You've
got some sort of science background, right?"
"Yeah."
Hamilton
Caine sat with his lips pursed thoughtfully, staring intently
in front of him. John sipped his Scotch. He really didn't
understand the point of it. May as well just eat jalape�os.
His lips felt numb.
"All
right. All right. This is what you're going to do. You know
what we need? Food that you can heat up by plugging into your
car's cigarette lighter."
"What?"
"Everyone
eats fast food and everyone weighs three hundred pounds. You
come up with some way to make food that people think is
healthy and can heat up by plugging into their car's cigarette
lighter. You'll make a fortune."
"That's
crazy," John said. "Well, actually, it's not, but..."
"Let me
ask you something. Where's the money from?"
"What
money?"
"You said
you had enough money to write your own ticket. I don't know if
that's true, but I know you've got enough money to afford
first class from California to Sydney. So who made it? Your
father? Grandfather?"
"My
father," John admitted.
"Does he
have an empire?"
John shook
his head. "Just a small sovereign nation."
"Well,
kid, my advice to you is, swallow your pride and go into the
family business."
John
swallowed some more Scotch. "Why?"
"Because
if your father is a business man � and he is, right? Okay. If
he's a business man, he's going to want to keep the money in
the family. It's safe. And you won't even have to do much, if
you don't want to. But get in. Get your hands on the
contracts. You want to know what's going on, because when your
father is gone, someone is going to try to take it away from
you, and you don't want to let that happen. You need to be the
watchdog. Make yourself the watchdog of your father's
company."
"You don't
even know what he does." John said.
"It
doesn't matter. He's a business man, and all businessmen do
one thing: make money. You sell your soul, and you make some
money. And if you're lucky, you make enough to save some
wolves. It's not a bad deal."
John
turned and looked out the window. The moon burned coldly in
the sky. Nancy's voice chirruped in his head, My whole life is
a window. "Do you ever think that there might be one or two or
five people that don't fit into your world view?"
"No,"
Hamilton Caine said. "Or if they do, they don't have enough
money to matter."
John shook
his head and smiled. "Well, I got a better offer." He put his
Scotch to one side, and picked up his laptop out of the back.
"And I have work to do." |