09: MOVE
-- AND YOU'RE DEAD
This time it’s an
endurance test not just for the youngest Tracy brother, astronaut
Alan Tracy, but for those who’d really prefer to see less of him.
“Move – And You’re Dead” is also, in my mind, the third in an
unofficial trilogy of rescues from the sun’s incredible power,
starting with “Sun Probe,” then “The Uninvited,” and now this – that
has to be often enough to give IR’s intrepid team a serious case of
solarphobia! In this episode it’s a very human evil that leads to IR
being called, and rescuing one of their own is at the heart of it
all.
Slow Spanish guitar
music plays as the scene opens on a bridge in the middle of nowhere.
We see Alan Tracy and Grandma up on one of the bridge’s girders,
exposed beneath a blazing sun that fills up the screen. Alan is
standing up, dressed in a stripy yellow shirt, whilst Grandma,
sitting down with her back against a support beam, swelters beneath
her broad flowery hat and heavy overcoat. There’s a weird, spiked
metal device on the girder with them, which I will name ‘Evil Box
1’, and something else is clamped underneath the same bridge which I
will call ‘Evil Box 2’ for now. It practically screams ‘bad news’,
resembling some sort of kinky Dalek toy, or perhaps a mislaid half
of Sputnik.
A red car roars away
from the bridge. Grandma says that “they’ve” gone, and Alan quickly
shushes her and utters the most important theme of the episode.
“Whatever you do, DON’T MOVE.” The camera zooms in on ‘Evil Box 1’ –
clearly it is a very important part of the puzzle.
Grandma helps us out by
asking Alan how “that little box” can possibly hurt them. Alan
reiterates that the slightest movement will “detonate the bomb under
the bridge.” A blast of trumpets explodes and there’s another zoom
in on ‘Evil Box 2’ (now known as the BOMB). The episode’s title card
helpfully appears to make this even clearer.
A little time seems to
pass, and Alan reckons the sun is coming up to noon. Then Grandma’s
alarmed as he starts to move, lifting his arm to his face. Alan
reassures her that it’s OK, and he’s just trying to reach his
‘telecomm’, which is the official name for International Rescue’s
familiar radio disguised cunningly as a wrist watch. I think we all
wanted one of these as a kid! I believe that one of Captain
Scarlet’s little blue tooth mikes would be a little more convenient
for Alan right now.
Grandma seems to regain
her short term memory, reminding Alan what “they” said. If one move
disturbs the “ultrasonic waves” it could blow them both “sky high.”
He doesn’t listen, and there’s a close up on his watch, which reads
as ten minutes to noon. The bomb doesn’t go off despite his
movement, and then Al says the magic words, “Calling International
Rescue.”
The slow guitar theme
plays over establishing shots of a quiet and utterly peaceful Tracy
Island. Not for long, I think. Alan’s portrait’s eyes FLASH and BEEP
from the villa’s lounge wall. Jeff gives him the go-ahead. Alan
immediately cuts to it, with “We’re in trouble, Father.” He tells
Jeff that although it sounds crazy, “we’re on a bridge and we can’t
move…”
That’s more than enough
for Jeff to immediately go on the alert. He interrupts Scott and
Virgil’s game of billiards with the emergency buzzer, prompting a
happy sounding Scott (perhaps he was losing) to say, “That’s us.
Let’s go!” back in the lounge, Alan has explained what we know so
far and finishes by saying, “just hope you can get here before we
pass out from the heat.” Jeff reassures him that Scott and Virgil
are on their way, which isn’t technically true as they’ve both only
just now arrived in the lounge. A shocked Scott (seeing his brother
on the portrait screen) exclaims, “Alan!”
Jeff rapidly orders them
to launch Thunderbird One and Thunderbird Two (with
Pod 1), saying he will tell them more when they’re in the air, so
“...if you want to save your brother’s life, MOVE!”
They move.
Jeff then packs off
Brains to Thunderbird Two and again holds off on explaining
until they’re on their way. We get a full launch for Scott and a
partial one for Virgil, and there’s a great sense of urgency as TB1
blasts away. Scott rotates his cockpit – always great to see – as
TB2 follows him.
Jeff tells Tin-Tin (and
us) that Alan and Grandma are trapped on the Bridge of San Miguel,
(isn’t that famous for a beer or something?) and he finds it on a
map. Tin-Tin says doubtfully that it’s a lonely spot, Jeff agrees
that as the bridge isn’t open for another two months, “they
certainly knew what they were doing when they plotted this.” So, who
are “they”? And did Jeff use Wikipedia to find this out so fast?
Tin-Tin then asks the more PRESSING question of “when is the bomb
due to go off?” and we learn it’s due at 1300hrs (1.00pm to
civilians), in about one hour’s time! Then he tells her the twist
about Alan and Grandma having to stay still until it happens, and
asks her to pass this rather vital information on to Scott and
Virgil. Seeking some reassurance, Tin-Tin wonders if Alan and
Grandma can hold out, and Jeff hopes so, but he acknowledges that
“the noonday sun can be pretty savage in those parts.”
The sun fills the screen
again, dramatically emphasising the power that poor Alan will have
to endure. He sounds encouraged as, back on the bridge, he tells
Grandma that the boys are on their way and that they just need to
“hold on.” She promptly passes out – luckily her 45 degree SLIDE
down the side of the supporting wall doesn’t upset the beam any more
than Alan raising his arm did earlier!
Thunderbird Two
speeds towards them, distinctive engines whirring smoothly. Virgil
speaks to Scott, and Scott updates Virgil that he’s reached 15,000
mph (full speed perhaps?), on course 274. Then Scott contacts base,
anxious to know how Alan and Grandma are doing.
A red-faced Alan informs
Jeff about Grandma passing out but assures him that she’s safe.
Although Jeff encourages him to keep it together and concentrate,
Alan is fading fast in the extreme heat. Tin-Tin begs him to listen
to Jeff, but Alan starts to pass out! Jeff shouts at him until he
wakes up, and orders his youngest son to keep talking until Scott
and Virgil reach him. Jeff wants “the WHOLE story.” As we’re barely
ten minutes in, let’s hope the tale is exciting enough to warrant
this particular ‘framing device’! Then we’re plunged into a wobbly
flashback!
Alan’s voice-over tells
us that it all started the day they went to “Parola Sands”, and the
scene opens on Thunderbird Two flying under happier
circumstances. The big green machine swoops lower, and Alan, wearing
a natty pink shirt and white collar combo, admires the clouds from
the window. In voice over, he notes, “from up there the sky sure
looked pretty.” I never liked how he said the word ‘pretty,’ but
Alan’s voice was always too soft for my taste. Live action footage
shows they’re coming up over some hot, but cloudy country.
Virgil informs Alan that
they’re almost there, he checks that Alan’s meeting someone called
‘Kenny Malone’ – apparently Alan knows Kenny and he’s a “great
mechanic.” Tin-Tin is also with them, wearing a fetching pair of
white flowers above her ears. Alan is sorry that she and Virgil
can’t join him. Virgil reminds him that he KNOWS why – it’s in case
there’s a distress call! Virgil adds quickly that they’ll be
watching on the “telecast” (which, let’s face it sounds much more
futuristic than “the telly”). Alan knows how lucky he is to get
leave, and Tin-Tin points out that this isn’t just a “pleasure”
trip, this is also to help Brains find out how his new engine works
“under prolonged stress.” Brains must be pretty miffed he couldn’t
tag along, leaving his baby in the hands of this “Kenny” chap!
Virgil lands TB2 in the
middle of nowhere, and Alan’s already in the pod. Tin-Tin stands
very close to Virgil as she reminds Alan that they’ll all be
watching the race, then she wishes him luck and asks him to give her
love…to Grandma. Then Alan emerges in the world’s biggest (and
loudest) red car, with ‘go faster’ fins sticking out all over.
Virgil barely waits for him to leave before giving him a call,
asking “kiddo” how it feels. Alan assures them that Brains “has done
it again – she’s a beaut!”
Massively laid-back
Virgil replies, “Ah, fine,” and warns Al not to run up any speeding
tickets. I can’t help thinking that Alan should have a trailer or
something for this valuable (and top secret) bit of car-totty.
Pixar’s Cars movie was more logical than this!
Anyway, Alan
zooooooooomz (sic) off into the distance and by now Tin-Tin has all
but draped herself over Virgil’s shoulder. He calmly says it’s time
to return to base. She wishes she was going with Alan, hastily
adding, “To keep him company, you know…” Is it odd that two puppets
have such chemistry? They look on the edge of a full blown snog
here! But Virgil just tactfully looks away and says, “Yeah…I know.”
As usual, this show leaves FAR too much to the imagination. The
flashback Thunderbird Two takes off for Tracy Island.
Alan soon arrives at the
small city of Parola Sands (a fantastic name, too). He gets to the
uber-futuristic parking garage, where people are far too lazy to
parallel park on their own, and are instead lifted up and stacked,
not unlike being a cuddly toy in a claw vending machine. Once up in
his stacking space, Alan hops over to a corridor where a lady’s
voice orders him over to the cocktail bar to meet Kenny Malone. Alan
responds rather flirtatiously, “You’re WELCOME.”
In the bar, the camera
takes us past a guy in a pale blue set of overalls (coveralls to you
in the US), nodding his head to smooth cocktail jazz beside a HUGE
jukebox, known to this universe as an ‘Autotune’. Alan’s standing at
the cocktail bar, trying to fudge the inevitable ‘where the hell
have you been?’ questions from his mechanic friend, Kenny. Alan
explains it away as “family business” – so now he thinks you’re a
hair’s breadth from being a Corleone, Al, but it seems to stop the
questions going any deeper! Nice one!
Then Alan spots Victor
Gomez, an old racing rival who’s not remotely pleased to see Alan’s
back on the scene. Gomez’s team mate, Johnny Gillespie, is worried
that Alan will spoil their chances of getting the prize money
considering that he’s brought “quite a car” with him. They’re both
determined that NOTHING will spoil their chances. Hear their
slightly rough voices, and those ugly shirts! Of COURSE these two
are EVIL!
On this, the camera then
zooms in over and over again on a static painting of some old
fashioned racing cars, whilst ‘fast car’ sounds effects squeal and
roar out of sight. This lasts for a good hour – or maybe that’s just
how long it feels! Then we’re woken by a LOUD EXPLOSION and
something that used to be a car disappears in a shower of sparks and
flames. Alan’s big race at Parola Sands has begun, and it’s already
clear that their safety measures require serious revision. The
ever-useless fire trucks and ambulances zip out to deal with the
blazing car.
Alan remains unscratched
in his big red car, and the announcer excitedly tells us over the
speakers (which are incidentally the SAME ones that London Tower
uses in previous episodes) that Alan is way out in the lead. The
cars zoom round and the race goes on…and on. And I write as someone
who used to quite enjoy Formula One. This is BORING. There’s also
just the one journalist reporting on the race, who helpfully adds
that the creator of Alan’s fantastic car prefers to remain
anonymous, although this may be because no one knows Brains’ real
name (or ever will…).
Another car explodes in
a way that appears UTTERLY fatal, and the ambulances trundle after
it. But Alan’s still out in the lead! The reporter waffles on about
Alan quitting just a year ago despite his very promising career. He
adds that Alan is now heading for “certain victory”!
The race reaches the
last few miles and the whole Tracy family are crowded around Jeff’s
teeny TV set, watching. Alan is staying in front of the race, while
Gomez starts vying for the lead; the groups of mechanics look
nervous. The two lead cars reach a “difficult cliff stretch” where
there don’t seem to be any cameras or anyone watching any of what
happens – on the most fatal section of the whole race. Not even a
helijet?! Somebody fire those lazy news crews! Now Alan’s on the
outside by the cliff and Gomez (in cute pink sweatshirt) can’t
resist trying to knock him off. Gomez fails but they’re still neck
and neck! And…and…it just seems to last forever. Alan smashes
through the crappy fence that’s between him and the sheer drop, and
I like the tyre marks he leaves on the road. Then Alan zooms ahead
and WINS!
The reporter who always
sounds excited tells viewers he will be calling Alan up for an
interview in a minute. Then there’s a discussion which, given that
this whole thing is a flashback, Alan has to be imagining. Gomez and
Gillespie, the sore losers, rue not ‘fixing’ Alan’s car earlier and
wish that they had the designs for the vehicle. Gomez says that he
has a plan to “fix” Alan Tracy “once and for all.” Uh oh, Alan, time
to get out of Dodge…
The Tracys watch Alan’s
big interview and the screen wibbles, returning us to the present.
Alan says bitterly, “Yeah, some victory…now this.” And we’re
reminded by a closeup on the bomb, ticking away underneath him and
Grandma.
Jeff briskly orders
Scott to keep up maximum speed as “Alan’s in a bad way.” Then Jeff
switches back to Alan, tells him he’s doing great and urges him to
carry on with the story. But now poor Alan is starting to wobble
more in the extreme heat. Tin-Tin calls his name but he doesn’t
answer. There’s a nice shot from up high (perhaps the sun’s POV!) of
Alan stood on the girder with wilted Grandma beside him. The screen
fades to black.
Once again the HUGE HOT
SUN fills the screen. Jeff is yelling at Alan to WAKE UP! He demands
to know what happened after the race. Alan groggily says that he and
Kenny returned to the car stacker (or car ‘slacker’!?). Alan reveals
hidden depths, possibly, by saying he “felt good after the race,”
but “glad it was over.” He asks Kenny to stack the car for him,
which seems like laziness regarding what’s already a very lazy
machine to begin with! Youngest Tracy makes a ‘telecall’ on one of
the videophones at the bottom of the parking garage. Kenny (sounding
an awful lot like John Tracy by now) agrees and says he’ll meet Alan
in the lounge. As they go their separate ways, evil tense music
plays as dastardly driver Victor Gomez appears in the lift behind
the car stacker controller.
Having parked Alan’s big
red car, Kenny heads out to the cocktail lounge. Meanwhile Gomez and
Gillespie have knocked out the poor stacker controller with the
subtle use of a metal monkey wrench. OWCH. Gomez is determined to
“fix that clever guy, Tracy.”
Alan obliviously makes a
telecall to Grandma Tracy. She’s flattered that he rang her so soon
after the race – they natter on whilst Gomez tries to drop a car on
Alan. Although I think their original plan might have been to steal
Al’s car, this quickly backfires because they are, after all, a bit
crap. They take ages to figure out the controls for whatever they
were actually up to, so by the time a car lands on the telecall
booth Alan skedaddled about ten minutes ago. Mobile phones are a
great invention! Much safer! Alan tells us that the attendant
managed to raise the alarm (despite massive head trauma?) but by
then, Gomez and Gillespie were long gone. And no one else, I
suppose, was able to park that day? Seriously, WHAT was their plan?
They’re rubbish!
Back in the present, the
heat is seriously getting to Alan but he manages to continue. He
tells them he went to collect Grandma next. He didn’t stick around
for the schmoozing and ego-stroking, then? It seems that Grandma
lives quite close to Parola Sands, as he’s soon there, and he’s
going to bring her back to Tracy Island with him. Grandma Tracy has
a beautifully furnished little place, which makes me wonder if she’s
even selling it. She tries to push more apple pie on Alan and says
how proud she is of them all. Awww. Alan’s wearing the same stripy
yellow shirt he has on the bridge, so we must be getting close to
the end by now! It’s also odd that Grandma’s dressed like she’s in
‘Little House on the Prairie’, complete with high neck lace collar!
She gives Alan a scare
by saying she spoke to some reporters that morning, who asked lots
of questions. Alan immediately seems to think she might just have
blabbed away the deepest secrets of IR! She just chuckles and says
she told them “everything they already know.” He somewhat
patronisingly calls her a “good girl.” Then he gets up and informs
IR, over his telecomm, that they’re leaving for the rendezvous
point. As they drive along in the red super car, Alan’s strangely
paranoid again, saying that “it felt like there were a thousand eyes
peering at us from behind every rock.” Very creepy, Al. Besides, a
flaw has just reared its head that sort of confounds the entire
episode. If they’re heading to a secret rendezvous, shouldn’t Virgil
be on his way to pick them up already? Wouldn’t that just be
happening right now? How far in the middle of nowhere were they
going and how long was Virgil going to make them wait in Alan’s new
car?
Brains may have created
an amazing machine, but he clearly forgot to include a TomTom or
some other SatNav gadgetry. Or perhaps Alan just uses the Force for
his directions. Either way, Gomez manages to pull a Looney-Toons
trick on them with the ACME ‘sign switch’ gag. Alan takes the dead
end road to the San Miguel Bridge, and Gomez is standing in the
narrow road, waiting for them with a gun!
Two things puzzle here.
How on earth did Gomez know exactly which way they were going, as
it’s a SECRET rendezvous (unless Grandma gave that away too!). Also,
given that the maniac has a GUN, and Alan is in the world’s fastest
car, perhaps he could just…run the guy over? I know it’s an open top
car, but, probably a good time to step on the gas, isn’t it?
But anyway…
Gomez pulls them over,
and Grandma recognises him as one of the ‘so-called’ reporters who
questioned her that morning! Alan demands to know what Gomez wants,
reminding him that he already gave the prize money to the Parola
Sands Charity Fund – which I think must be for sick, homeless racing
drivers, given the number of lethal accidents we watched during the
race! As he talks, Alan reaches for a gun he has stashed in the
glove box – but Gomez’s buddy shows up and shoots next to his hand.
Ouch. Gillespie was held up putting the road signs back the way they
were before. They’re taking their trap ideas from Wil E Coyote’s big
book of corny plans, aren’t they? Alan’s just lucky they didn’t draw
a road on a cliff face and let him drive flat into it! But, they’ve
come for the car – and they threaten Grandma in order to make Alan
drive on to the middle of the San Miguel Bridge! The screen fades to
black.
Up on the girder, Alan’s
also fading fast, despite Jeff’s noisy encouragement. Alan asks
wearily how his brothers are doing and Jeff puts Scott through – yay
Scott! Scott’s clipped voice reassures Alan that he’s “crossing the
Pacific coast now” and he instructs Alan to listen out for their
retros! Jeff then orders Alan to carry on with the story. The screen
wibbles to flashback for the last time.
Alan tells Gomez and
Gillespie that he doesn’t have the plans for the car, and even if he
did he wouldn’t give them to THEM. Apparently expecting Alan’s
willingness to get Grandma murdered over a car engine, Gomez has a
backup plan, and orders Alan to climb up on the girder with Grandma,
taking the evil hedgehog-of-death box with him! Alan exclaims, “Why,
you dirty…!” (and I hate how he says ‘dirty’, too), immediately
recognising what the spiky thing is. I want to know how common these
‘ultrasonic resonator’ thingies are that he has no trouble
identifying one? What the heck are they used for? Is there a
brochure? Perhaps it’s like the listening devices you can buy from
Amazon websites?!
Gomez and Johnny don’t
care how shocked Alan is. They want the secrets of his super car,
and they’re still bitter that Alan won the race. I can only assume
they have no sponsors any more and peed away all their other prize
money from years ago. They think there’s more to this car than
“meets the eye” and, let’s face it, if ANYONE on earth could make a
car turn into a giant robot, it’s probably Brains.
Anyway, Alan and Grandma
are now trapped on the girder (there’s a little ladder! Where’d that
come from?) and we’re almost right to the point where we came in.
Gomez tells Alan to put the motion sensor down in front of him.
Grandma asks what it is and Alan ignores the question and gently
tells her to sit against the stanchion. She asks, “Is it a bomb?”
and he replies, “Sort of.” Gomez reveals his plan. They both need to
keep very still for the next two hours, and then they’ll explode the
bridge anyway by remote control! Wow, that’s a great alibi. It’s got
to be a pretty big bomb to hide all the evidence! Gomez and his
equally evil friend take the ladder then zoom off in Alan’s
highly-distinctive car. Now we’re back where it all began. There’s
no more back-story for Alan to tell!
Brains is hard at work
in Thunderbird Two and Jeff wires him a picture of the bridge
that Tin-Tin found. No Google Earth in this universe, either. This
shows him how nasty the terrain is. But TB2 still isn’t there yet.
Thunderbird One
has made better time and her engines seem to wake Grandma. Alan
woozily warns her to keep still, clearly starting to lose it. As
Scott lands, Al looks even worse for wear. Scott radios Jeff his
view of the site, telling him to tell Virg to land on another slope
away from the possible range of the sonic generator. Scott then
tries to speak to Alan and find out the range of the generator’s
sensors (perhaps worth asking a tad earlier?), but Alan is way too
far gone to make any sense. Scott even mutters, “He’s delirious.”
And knows he can’t get any sense out of Alan now.
Alan is saying how numb
his legs are, and Tin-Tin is crying! Sniffle. Jeff keeps a stiff
upper lip, telling Alan to hold on for just two more minutes, as
Virgil is nearly there. Jeff also reminds Alan of IR’s most
important motto, “Not to give up at any cost!” Words to live by, I
think…! In echo of this, determined drums play over Thunderbird
Two’s landing and Scott shouts at Virgil to make it faster, as
“Alan’s almost had it!”
Virgil is as calm as
ever, lifting Thunderbird Two to deposit POD 1. Alan is worse
still and Jeff urges him to keep going for just “one minute more.”
It turns out that Brains is going to neutralise the generator as
there’s no time to look for the bomb. Brains trundles out on a pod
vehicle that resembles a mobile satellite dish, takes aim at the
bridge, and switches it on! There’s the drone of a ‘neutralising
ray’ or something like that, as Brains starts zapping the evil box.
We zoom in on Jeff’s anxious face and Tin-Tin’s glistening tears.
Then – it’s worked!
Brains tag-teams with
Virgil, sending the Tracy brother out with another pod vehicle. No
one tells Alan he can sit down! Virgil zooms onto the bridge –
faster, Virgil, faster! Alan sways and wobbles and FALLS!
Luckily, Alan has fallen
in the right direction, immediately cushioned by an air flow that
supports him, rather than bouncing him off and into the chasm below.
There’s a shot of THE BOMB! This reminds us that time is still
tight. Virgil speaks in a rather posh accent here, shouting,
“Grandma, you’re next!” He sounds sort of British, honestly! She
holds onto her hat and also leaps for her life. The air catches her
too – great device, should be very popular at children’s parties –
and Alan is slumped over with his head on a rail beside Virgil,
looking understandably knackered after his ordeal.
It’s not over yet –
there’s another close up on the BOMB and Virgil zooms off the bridge
with milliseconds to spare, with just enough time to turn around and
go back to where he’s parked Thunderbird Two. As he reaches
it, the bridge EXPLODES! Multiple times…
Unaware that their plan
has failed, Gomez and Gillespie are making their getaway in Alan’s
highly-visible red car. What were they planning to do? Take it to a
chop shop? It’s little surprise that they can’t win anything, as
Gomez – a supposedly ‘professional’ driver, can’t get to grips with
the “geared steering” (unless that’s some sort of thief-confusing
device that Brains included in the design). The two baddies argue,
which is just when Scott looms overhead in Thunderbird One.
An understandably angry Scott wastes no time using Thunderbird
One’s machine guns on the men who almost killed his little
brother. He’s pretty savage, too, not even bothering with the
loud-hailer and blasting at them with inches to spare, as if
Thunderbird One’s cannons stand in for what he’d actually do to
them in person.
The baddies somehow get
the idea that “Tracy and the old lady must have escaped!” although
making that exact connection seems like something of a stretch,
seeing that they’re just being shot at by an unknown rocket ship.
Anyway, they think they can lose Thunderbird One – sorry
guys, not even in THAT car, and certainly not on the open road!
Scott brings
Thunderbird One in low, firing alongside them, and they finally
decide that he wants them to STOP! Not that Scott’s helping, here,
however cathartic it might be for him! Scott looks out the hatch as
Gomez and Gillespie struggle for control of the wheel, veering
wildly to each side of the road. It dawns on Scott that he MIGHT
have panicked them, “They’ve gone crazy, they’re gonna crash!”
He’s right. They hurtle
off a cliff, the car explodes without much chance they walked away,
and Scott flies off. After all, it TECHNICALLY wasn’t HIS fault.
Shame about Alan and Brains’ new car, though!
In Thunderbird Two,
Virgil’s reporting that the mission is “successfully completed.”
Alan doesn’t even look sunburned – I guess he already had his Factor
500 on that morning. Bad guys are defeated, everything is OK now!
All except for Virgil’s
painting outfit. Which he has to be wearing for a bet, as he
immortalises Alan, ‘Racing Hero’ back on Tracy Island. He sternly
tells Alan, “Don’t move. Whatever you do, DON’T move!” Aww, families
can be MEAN. Alan’s wearing his racing overalls (once again,
coveralls to our readers in the States), brandishing his huge gold
trophy and a huger pout. He whinges, “How much longer?” and Tin-Tin
warns him to change his expression as he “can’t go down in the
annals of motor racing history with an expression like that.” Heh.
Alan just grumbles that the trophy is “darn heavy.”
Scott strolls in now,
sounding mischievous as he inquires how the “masterpiece” is coming
along. Tin-Tin says Virgil won’t let her see it, but Scott takes a
look and praises it with the slightest hint of sarcasm, “You’ve
REALLY caught a likeness!”
Virgil acts all involved
and serious about his work, muttering how’s it’s “nearly finished”
and then he flicks a button and turns the canvas around. Waah-waah
comedy music plays as Tin-Tin claps her hand to her face in
mock-horror and Alan sulkily turns his head for a look – Virgil
innocently asks what he thinks! His cubist-style ‘portrait’ wouldn’t
look out of place at a Dali or Picasso retrospective, and he
actually looks pretty pleased with himself. At least the SKY is
accurate.
Alan harrumphs, “I
suppose you guys think this is funny?” – handing Scott his most
sarcastic line yet, “Not at ALL…I think it’s VERY good, Virg.” Alan
snarks that the technique is about a hundred years out of date.
Virgil protests, with a glint, “you must admit that it’s really YOU,
Alan.” And Scott agrees, which sets them both laughing.
They’re so busy laughing
that they miss Alan walking behind Jeff’s desk and flicking a
switch. Scott and Virgil immediately disappear along with the sofa
for the start of Thunderbird Three’s launch sequence! I
reckon the writers have been DYING to do that since the launches
were introduced! Scott’s tiny far off voice can be heard hollering,
“Hey! Cut that out!” and a more concerned Virgil yelling, “Quit
messing around with those buttons!” Yes, are they not password
protected? I fervently hope they’re clinging onto the comfy sofa and
not, say, hanging off it from four hundred feet in the air.
Alan ignores them and
shakes his head at the painting again, “How do you like THAT,
Tin-Tin?” She flirts back a little, reassuring him that they don’t
need a painting when “you’ve got the real thing…” Then we zoom in on
Alan, who APPEARS, really, to be leaning towards her in the close-up
just as – the screen fades to black and the end credits roll. As
usual, there’s a lot left to the imagination!
Overall, despite the
sheer, unrelenting ‘Alan-ness’ of the episode, “Move – And You’re
Dead” still had an intriguing premise and enough interesting moments
(mostly near the beginning and the end) to keep me coming back when
it was first shown. Of course I much preferred to imagine this
happening to one of my FAVOURITE Tracy brothers (that’s just how a
fangirl’s mind works!), and I think I really resented Alan hogging
the screen time, which started to happen more and more in the
series. Even Scott was never really given this much of an onscreen
back story, even in episodes like “The Uninvited”. So, this episode
tended to annoy rather than enthral me. I’m a lot more forgiving to
the character, now. Honest. I’m much more sympathetic, having
endured one or two hideously warm sports days in my time. However, I
don’t think the ‘filler’ story that Alan tells is remotely
interesting enough to warrant taking up most of the episode. The
‘sonic wave generator’ is also a fun plot device, but doesn’t
actually seem to work. And let’s face it, International Rescue are
rescuing one of their own, and it’s ALAN!
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