A COLD EVENING
by BOOMERCAT
RATED FRPT |
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Alan considers the
events of A Cold Day In Hell.
This story takes
place immediately after the events in
A Cold Day in Hell.
"Alan, go
on off to bed now."
The deep
sound of my father's voice startled me from the doze I had
fallen into. My objection to being sent to bed like a little
kid died in my throat as I got a good look at my father's
face. He looked so careworn, I was suddenly reminded that he
was no longer a young man. He looked at me with an open love
that I found disconcerting.
I glanced
over at the sickroom bed where my oldest brother, Scott, lay
sleeping. His stillness made me uncomfortable. Scott was more
than just a brother to me, and it hurt more than I would admit
to see him in pain. He had been injured on a rescue in the
Arctic, and for a while this afternoon, there was a doubt that
my other brothers, Gordon and Virgil, would be able to get to
him in time. It had been a near thing, but finally a little
over two hours ago, Thunderbird Two had landed, carrying a
damaged Thunderbird One where pod four should have been.
Brains and
Tin-Tin had been there to meet my brothers along with Dad and
I. They immediately took over Scott's care. It was a
tremendous relief to us all to find Scott conscious, if
groggy. He had a huge bump on his head, and a slice in his
side. Tin-Tin quickly sealed the cut with a dermal sealer, and
once in the sickroom, they did a skull series.
I felt as
if the weight of the world was taken from my shoulders when
Brains had returned and announced that there was no fracture,
and that Scott should be all right with enough rest. A quick
look around the room told me that everyone else felt the same
way. By the time my dad spoke, Scott had fallen asleep, and
Gordon had left to go to bed.
There was
no question about Virgil leaving. He and Scott had been best
friends all of their lives, and there was nothing in this
world that would move Virgil away from Scott's bed at the
moment. I looked over at the second bed in the sickroom.
Virgil was curled up on his side just staring at Scott's face.
I had a suspicion that he was doing his
sleeping-with-his-eyes-open act.
I was so
tired myself that I didn't even feel the resentment I usually
felt at being treated differently than my older brothers. Dad
was so tired, I doubt he even knew what he was saying. He was
just sending me to bed by rote.
I got up
with a sigh, and catching Tin-Tin's eye, I said quietly,
"You'll let me know when he wakes up?"
At her
smile and nod, I walked out of the sickroom and headed for the
bedroom wing of Tracy villa. I was surprised after spending
the last ninety minutes in the windowless sickroom to find
there was still daylight outside. It seemed as if a year had
passed since my brothers had left early in the morning on what
seemed to be a tricky but run-of-the-mill rescue. Some stupid
scientists had gotten themselves into trouble in an undersea
laboratory under the Arctic ice.
The
mission had gone from bad to worse resulting in the deaths of
all of the scientists and more importantly, from my point of
view anyway, the near destruction of Thunderbirds One and
Four, and the injury to my brother Scott.
I didn't
like to think about what would become of the family if
anything happened to Scott. He really was the glue that kept
us all together. He was part cheerleader, boss, confidante,
and a hell of lot more. If he weren't around, I don't know
that International Rescue would even exist. I mean, Virgil
would try. God knows, he'd try. I suppose I would finally get
my chance with Thunderbird One. Maybe.
Maybe Virg
would fly TB1 and Gordy would fly TB2, and I would handle TB4.
Yeah, like that would happen. If Virgil could figure out a
way, he would sleep with that damn ship of his. And tell
Gordon someone else would pilot the toy submarine? Not much
can get a rise out of him, but that would do the job for sure.
No, more likely, Dad would recall John from Thunderbird Five
to handle Thunderbird One.
So where
would that leave me? In the same spot I always was. The
default son. Nobody else around to do it? Let Alan do it. Some
dirty job no one else is willing to do? No problem, there is
always Alan.
Of course,
if it required half a brain to do, or maybe had a hint of
responsibility involved, Dad's eye would look to anyone else
but me. Scott always said it was because Dad just wanted to
protect me, but I knew the truth. I was a default son. Dad had
the perfect son in Scott. He was brilliant, caring, and better
looking than any of the rest of us. Virgil and John, Dad
tolerated them out of necessity. But me and Gordy, we were
just spares.
I can
still remember the bull session Gordon and I had when we were
kids. Gordon had actually been the one to come up with the
term 'default son'. He had meant it as a joke of course.
Gordon never really took anything all that seriously, except
maybe swimming and Thunderbird Four. But as soon as he said
it, I was struck by the truth of it, and long after Gordon had
forgotten the conversation, the term still rolled around in my
head.
I suppose
it was only natural that it would come out in a fight with my
Dad one day. It was the day of Gordy's high school graduation.
Two weeks earlier, the whole family had congregated in
Colorado for my brother Virgil's college graduation. Scott had
taken Gordon aside then and told him that he couldn't get
leave to be there for both Virgil's and Gordon's graduation,
and he hoped Gordon didn't mind. Gordon said he didn't, of
course, but I could tell it bugged him.
Virgil
couldn't make it because he was starting a new job, and
couldn't ask for time off. John couldn't come because of a
seminar on laser communications that he said was only a one
shot deal. All three of them were real sorry. Gordy was
understanding, but I wasn't. I was furious on his behalf, and
when the big day came and Dad said he had to attend a
conference and might be very late, I had exploded. I told Dad
a few home truths, including that I was sick of him treating
Gordy and me as default sons.
Dad had
gone psychotic about it. He screamed bloody murder at us both,
and when he had finally left, Gordon had just shaken his head
telling me I was wrong. I guess I was still stinging from
Dad's yelling because I turned on Gordon and just gave him
holy hell. Ruining his graduation day is something I've
regretted ever since.
When we
arrived at the high school stadium, we were barely speaking.
Gordon told me to save a seat for Dad, but I just walked away.
When someone sat next to me on the bench, I ignored them, I
was so wrapped up in my anger. The person kept nudging into me
and I was forced to shift over and over until I was at the end
of the bench. When the next inevitable nudge came, I turned
ready for battle only to find myself looking into my big
brother's twinkling blue eyes. The whole 'nobody's coming'
thing was a practical joke Scott had thought up. I'd eaten
crow that day, but still, 'default son' was a thought that
occurred to me all too often.
As I
walked down the hallway to my bedroom, I paused outside of
Gordon's door. A couple of years ago, Gordy had been in an
accident that had broken his back and he had to be careful
about how he slept, or he wouldn't be able to move in the
morning. After a rescue like today's Scott would always double
check on him just to make sure he wasn't in some pretzel
position. With Scott incapacitated, I decided it was my job to
do the checking.
I opened
the door and quietly walked in. To my dismay, he wasn't even
lying down. He was just sitting there on the edge of the bed.
I walked around to face him and he didn't even seem to notice
me.
"Hey,
Gordy, what's going on?"
He blinked
and seemed to wake up a bit. "Hey. How's Scott doing?"
"He's
still asleep. I thought you would be too."
"Oh. Uh,
yeah." He looked around as if he was unsure where he was.
I was
liking this less and less. "Hey, I'm going to go get Dad,
okay? You just relax and I'll be back in a minute."
"What? No!
Why? Alan, I'm all right. Don't get Dad."
"Gordon,
you don't look so good."
"I'm just
tired, that's all."
"Well, why
aren't you asleep then?"
He looked
away then. After a moment he plucked at the fastening to his
wetsuit. "I, uh, can't seem to get this unzipped."
Oh God, I
felt so bad. Just like everyone else, I had been so worried
about Scott, I had just forgotten Gordon had been through a
lot today too. "Here, let me get it for you."
I reached
over and pulled the zipper down, and started tugging to get
the stiff heavy suit off. Gordon was so tired he was hardly
any help at all. I didn't say anything about it, though I
could have. When I finally had wrestled it off, I stepped
back. Gordon still just sat there, looking at me.
I caught
my breath and went back and pushed him gently down on the bed.
The bottom half of the wetsuit was even harder to get off than
the top, but with a lot of huffing and a few swear words under
my breath, I finally managed it. The effort had caused
Gordon's tee shirt to ride up, and I saw some nasty bruising
along his ribs.
"What's
that?" I didn't mean it, but the words came out like an
accusation. "I thought you told Dad you weren't hurt."
"Oh, that.
What good would it have done to tell Dad I got clobbered?
There was nobody else there to get Scott out."
He was
right, of course. Telling Dad he was hurt wouldn't have
changed anything that happened. "Well, you're home now. I
think you ought to let him know."
"It's not
that big a deal, Al. Just let it go, okay?" He sounded so
weary that I ached for him.
I went to
his wardrobe and got a pair of clean shorts and a tee shirt.
"Here. You'll feel better if you get out of those things."
I tossed
the underclothes on his chest, but he made no move to get
them. I tsk'd like grandma, and sat down on the bed. "Come on.
I'll help you."
"Can we
just leave it, please?" He rubbed a hand over his eyes.
"Listen, Alan, thanks for the hand, but I just want to sleep
now. Turn out the light when you leave, would you?"
It was a
reasonable request, but I knew my brother too well. "It must
have been pretty tough."
He stared
at me for a moment then said simply, "Help me up."
I took his
hand and pulled him into a sitting position next to me. He
didn't seem to want to look at me. "We were so close, Al. When
I got to them, I swear, they were still warm. The water was
freezing, but I guess they were able to stay dry until the
last few minutes, so when I got there they were still warm. It
was terrible. It was pitch black, and freezing cold, and here
were these people that would have still been alive if I had
just been a bit faster."
He sighed.
I didn't know what to say. I had been on a few of the bad
ones, and there really wasn't much you could say. We were so
successful most of the time that the few where we didn't
succeed were that much harder. I put my arm around his
shoulders and that seemed to shake him from the reverie that
he had fallen into. "Then when I finally got to Scott, he was
warm too. It just kind of got to me. Al, we could have lost
him so easily today."
"Yeah, but
we didn't. You just have to focus on that, okay? Scott will be
fine. You got the job done. I don't know how you do it, you
know. I would have been a basketcase."
"No, you
wouldn't have. You would have been fine."
"I'm not
so sure. I was really bouncing off the walls here just
listening to it."
"Yeah,
well, that was just because you could. If you had been out
there, you would have done just as well as I did. Maybe
better."
"Not
better. Hey, I hear you told off Virg." I hated it when Gordon
turned morbid. He was normally so laid back, it just was kind
of jarring when he got down.
"Yeah.
Well, you know…"
"Yeah. He
asks for it. He's such a pussy."
That got a
snort from him, so I continued, "I think you should call him
out. You know, water balloons at ten paces or something."
He looked
at me as if I had cauliflower growing out of my ears, but
after a few moments, I could see the seed taking place. I
pushed it a bit further. "If you can figure out a way to do
it, you can have him land up under that big bush by the pool
walkway. I'll get up in the bush, and just as he turns, I'll
let him have it."
I had his
interest now. "With what?"
"I dunno.
How about a balloon filled with grape jelly?"
"Or ink!"
"Yeah! Or
how about ink mixed with glue?"
"Oh! I
like it! Yeah, I think that would be great! Um, let's do it
before Scott is out of bed, okay?"
"Definitely." We could handle Virgil when he was on his own,
but Virgil and Scott together were a team too formidable to
cross. "Okay, if we're going to do this, you're going to need
to be rested. Virgil's old, but he's still pretty fast."
"Oh
please, I can outrun him in my sleep."
"Well,
that's what you'll be doing if you don't lie down here."
Gordon
looked at his bed and then across the room where his chair
stood. The chair had been a gift from Virgil when Gordon had
finally been released from the hospital after his accident.
Virgil had worked with a back specialist and a furniture
designer to develop the chair. It had special gel pads that
reduced stress on Gordon's spine. It had proven a godsend, and
for almost a year, Gordon had slept in it every night. He
still used it when his back was especially painful, and I
could see by his look that this was one of those times.
"Come on,
let me help you get settled." I pulled his arm across my
shoulders and helped him stand up.
Gordon
immediately pulled his arm free. "I'm not an invalid, you
know."
"Could
have fooled me." I said it airily, and before he could object,
I pulled him up into a fireman's carry over my shoulder.
Gordon
didn't struggle as I carried him across the room. When I put
him down, I put on my most winning grin, and batted my eyes at
him. He just glared. I tried for sweetness, "Can I help you
sit down?"
"You know,
don't you, that if I were to murder you right here, no one
would even notice you weren't around?"
I smiled
my best smile and took a giant step backward. "You'd have to
move toward me to murder me."
He barked
a short laugh, and sat down in the chair. "That's the only
thing saving you. Get me that afghan, would you?"
I pulled
the old blue afghan off of the bed and turned back to where
Gordon had already reclined the chair. He was asleep before I
got the afghan tucked around him. I stood looking down at him.
I decided I would sleep in Gordon's bed, just in case he
needed something during the night.
But first,
I was going to go find Tin-Tin and tell her about the bruising
on his ribs. If he didn't want Dad to know, I would honor his
wish, but I wasn't going to risk it being something more than
bruising either. I wanted Tin-Tin's opinion. She could look
him over in the morning.
I turned
out the light and left the room. As I stepped out into the
hall, I found my father moving toward me. "Alan? Is Gordon all
right?"
I had to
keep myself from saying something rude. I felt a flush of
sudden resentment. Ever the default son, Gordon could have had
something seriously wrong, but as usual Dad was focused on
Scott. Almost as soon as the thought occurred it disappeared
as my father drew closer and I could see his face more clearly
in the hallway's shadows. Dad was spread way too thin, and I
couldn't bring myself to add to his burden. "He's okay. He's
asleep. I'm going to talk to Tin-Tin for a moment, then I'm
gonna crash in Gordy's bed."
"All
right, son. You go ahead and talk to Tin-Tin. I just want to
check on your brother for a moment."
"Okay Dad.
I'll be right back."
I found
Tin-Tin in the supply closet across from the sickroom. "Hey,
honey."
She looked
up at me with those gorgeous brown eyes and smiled. "Alan! I
thought you were going to go to bed."
"Yeah, I
was, but I got sidetracked. Listen, in the morning would you
take a look a Gordon for me? He's got some god-awful bruises
on his ribs, and I just want to be sure he's okay."
Tin-Tin
immediately became concerned. "Oh, Alan! I do not think I
should wait until the morning. I will go right now."
"Uh, no.
Not right now. Dad's in with him, and Gordy doesn't want him
to know about it."
"Oh, Alan,
that is foolish. If Gordon is hurt, Mr. Tracy should know. Now
stand aside, I want to get a few things from the sickroom."
When she became forceful, Tin-Tin was a lot like my grandma,
more a force of nature than anything else.
I stood at
the door as she put together the things she wanted. I noticed
Virgil wasn't missing a move. "What's going on, Tin-Tin?"
"Nothing,
Virgil. While Scott sleeps I just want to check on Gordon."
Virgil
immediately sat up. "Gordon? Why?"
I rolled
my eyes. "He's really tired, Virg. I just want Tin-Tin to look
him over, make sure he isn't, like, dehydrated or something.
Why don't you come along with us. You can sit there and watch
to make sure Tin-Tin doesn't miss something."
It was a
bluff, of course. The last thing Gordon needed was the entire
family descending on him. But I knew if I made it sound
ridiculous, Virgil would think twice about leaving Scott, even
if he was sleeping. Virgil wasn't buying though, and my
stomach started to sink at the look Gordon would give me for
spilling his secret. I was saved having Virgil come with us
when Scott suddenly made a small moaning sound. The room
became still as all three of us stopped and stared at him. His
eyelids fluttered, but he didn't wake up. Virgil sat back and
said, "All right, get going. Tin-Tin, I want a full report."
Tin-Tin
murmured something and led the way out of the room. As soon as
we were out of earshot, she rounded on me with flashing eyes.
"What did you mean?"
"Huh?" For
my life, I didn't know what she was talking about.
"You think
I need someone to watch me? You think I would ‘miss'
something?" Her voice was a hiss.
Oh. "No,
honey, I know you wouldn't. I just don't think Gordon needs a
crowd right now. If you'll remember I came to you. I wouldn't
have if I had any doubts about your abilities, now would I?" I
slipped my arms around her in a hug. For a moment, she was
stiff, but then she melted into me. God, she felt so good.
After a
moment, she pushed me away. "Come. Let me see Gordon."
I joked as
I followed her, "I don't know quite how to take that. It
almost sounds like you like him better than me."
Tin-Tin
giggled and gave me a smack in the head that turned into a
caress of my cheek that left me in no doubt who she liked
best. When we reached the door to Gordon's door, I reached out
and stopped her with a hand on her arm. "Honey, I know you
think it's foolish, but Dad's got more on his plate than he
deserves right now. Please, let me go in and send my Dad to
bed. Okay? Please?"
She looked
at me undecided. "Your father will certainly notice me
standing here in the hall when he comes out, and I refuse to
hide in the broom closet."
"You can
wait in my room. Please, Tin-Tin, I really don't want Dad to
know. If it turns out it's more than bruising, I'll be the
first to say something, but I'm fairly sure it's not. I just
want your opinion. Let's not raise an alarm if we don't have
to." I stared intently into her eyes, earnestly trying to
convince her.
Tin-Tin
pursed her lips and said with a touch of sarcasm, "And to do
this, all I have to do is wait in your bedroom."
As God is
my witness, until she said it, I hadn't even thought of the
implications. Having it laid out for me, I had to respond.
"Yeah. You can look at my etchings while you wait."
She
giggled, and I relaxed knowing I had won. "Well, okay, I will
wait in your room, but don't be too long, or I might have to
take a nap in your bed."
Oh, the
woman knew how to get me going. "Screw Gordon. Let's go."
Now she
flat out laughed. "Go to your father, Alan. I will wait in
your bedroom." She turned and walked away down the hall. I
swear she put an extra wiggle in her walk just to make me
crazy. I stared after her long after she had disappeared into
my bedroom.
The moment
passed, and I took a deep breath. Shaking my head, I pressed
the button to open the door to my brother's room. I walked in,
but then came to a stop at the scene. Gordon was still sound
asleep, pale, with his mouth hanging slightly open. Dad had
pulled a chair up beside him and was just staring at him as he
softly stroked his hair.
It was a
tender side of my father that I only caught glimpses of. I
wished it was directed at me more often. Hell, for all I knew,
it was when I was asleep. I just wish he could express it more
often when I was awake. I think we would have fewer fights if
he did.
I must
have made some soft sound, because my father suddenly looked
up at me. For the second time today, I was struck with the
fact that my father was getting older. At times like this, he
seemed positively ancient, with all of the cares of the world
showing on his craggy face. He looked at me for a moment and
then turned back to Gordon. I sat down on the bed, not sure
what to say.
When Dad
finally spoke, his voice was so low that I almost missed it.
"I hate this damn chair."
Huh? That
had come out of nowhere. I didn't get it. That chair was
really the only thing that had prevented my brother from
landing up crippled with pain. When he first had been released
from the hospital, and had to sleep in a normal bed, he had
been absolutely frantic with the pain. He couldn't sleep and
he didn't want to live his life on pain pills, but the pain
didn't seem to get any less. By the time Virgil had shown up
with the chair, I was terrified that Gordon was going to do
something stupid and final to end the pain.
At the
time, none of us, including Virgil, really believed something
as simple as a chair was going to have any effect, but we were
desperate. That first night Gordon actually slept for four
hours straight, something he hadn't done since the accident.
It was like a blessing from God. I had never loved my brother
Virgil more than I did that next morning, when Gordon actually
smiled for the first time in months. I loved that chair. It
gave me back my brother. How could my father hate it?
"There was
never anybody in the world who deserved less to be hurt than
your brother. Every time I see him in this chair, I have to
face the fact that my boy is in pain. I hate that. I hate the
fact that all of my money can't take this pain from him."
I was at a
loss for something to say. I hated it when Gordon got all
quiet on me. It was a sure sign he was hurting. I knew my
brothers all felt the same way. Scott would sit with him for
hours watching dumb movies. Virgil would just quietly do
Gordon's chores. John would distract him with chess or
Scrabble. I would tell him jokes or help him plan practical
jokes that would put Rube Goldberg to shame. We all got
through it. Dad would watch from the sidelines and never say a
word.
It made me
uncomfortable when my father got moody like this. I tried a
little white lie. "He's okay, Dad. I made him use the chair
because he was so tired. You know when he's this tired, he
doesn't move much in his sleep. I thought the chair would keep
him from waking up stiff."
Dad could
usually spot a lie a million miles away, but he was so tired
himself, he just nodded. He stood up, his eyes still on
Gordon. "Well. I'll leave you to get some sleep then. If you
need anything I'll be in the sick room."
"Yes,
sir."
With one
last look, Dad left the room. I let out the breath I had been
holding. I gave him a few minutes to clear the hallway and
then went to get Tin-Tin. She was standing outside of Gordon's
door when I opened it. Without a word, she went directly to my
brother.
She gently
lifted his tee shirt and hissed when she saw the bruising. She
threw a reproachful glance my way then turned back to Gordon.
She carefully pressed his ribs looking for any sign of
weakness. We both breathed a little easier when it was obvious
none of his ribs were broken. I didn't like the fact that he
was so deeply asleep that he didn't flinch at the treatment.
Tin-Tin
wasn't happy about that either, but she said nothing, just
pulling out her stethoscope and listening to Gordon's heart
and lungs. She made a small approving sound when she was done.
She handed me the stethoscope and a blood pressure cuff and
then turned to take his pulse. I did the pressure reading
which was normal. Just be sure, Tin-Tin took out an otoscope
and checked his ears. Then carefully lifted his eyelids,
checking the pupil reaction.
She
finished and smiled her relief to me, then turned to put her
instruments back into the bag she had brought them in. My eyes
were on her when a quiet voice made us both jump. "So what's
the verdict? Am I dead, or do I just feel that way?"
"Ah, geez,
Gordy! Don't DO that!"
"Oh! I
woke you! I'm sorry, Gordon."
"S'all
right, Tin-Tin. It wasn't you. It was the mouth breather
here."
"You
should talk. At least I don't drool."
"Oh, then
I suppose it's all snot that hangs off your face."
"All
right, you two. Please try not to be so disgusting. Gordon,
your lungs are clear, and your heart is strong. I still think
you should tell your father about your ribs, but at least I am
fairly sure you are all right."
"Thanks,
Tin-Tin."
"Yeah,
thanks, honey. Uh, I'll see you later, okay?" Tin-Tin stood
and took Gordon's hand for a moment, smiling down at him.
Before I could get jealous, she let go and left the room.
I turned
back to my brother. "You're supposed to be sleeping."
"Well, I
was until you woke me up."
"So what's
stopping you from going back to sleep now?"
"You.
Staring at me. I'm not a bug in a jar, Alan."
"Coulda
fooled me." I brusquely pulled down his shirt then pulled up
the afghan and tucked it in around him.
"Al…
Thanks. For everything, I mean."
I glanced
up, and he caught my eye. It wasn't like I had done all that
much, but I could see he meant it sincerely, so I said
gruffly, "Any time. Now, go to sleep, before I get Scott in
here."
"I'm not
scared of Scott."
"Yeah,
right."
He sighed,
then with a shrug, closed his eyes. In a short time, his
breathing became deep and regular.
God, I was tired. I couldn't
take many more days like today, and that was the truth.
Hopefully, I wouldn't have to, but I knew in my heart that
these tough times would come again. As long as my family acted
as the rescuer of last resort, we would always be at risk. As
I fell into my brother's bed, I could only hope the outcome of
all of our hard times would be so positive. Everyone made it
home safely, and that was the best possible outcome. I closed
my eyes and released a deep breath. Tomorrow would be a new
day.
Next:
The Cold Light of Day >> |